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Howard Tomb

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Wicked French Paperback – January 9, 1989

by Howard Tomb (Author)

4.4 29 ratings

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Any French language guide can teach you a simple phrase like J'ai faim! ("I'm starving!") But only Wicked French will give you the edge on a snooty Parisian waiter: Garcon! N'avez-vous pas de glacons pour le vin? ("Boy! Don't you have any ice cubes for the wine?")

While humiliated tourists mispronounce "This wine is good" (Ce vin est bon), you'll handle the French impressively with expressions like "The Haut-Medoc tries to tickle but pinches instead." (Ce Haut-Medoc essaye de chatouiller mais il pince.) Make new friends by knowing the only compliment a Frenchman wants to hear: Vous etes les gens les plus intelligents du monde. (You are the most intelligent people on earth.") With quick-to-find practical tips throughout, Wicked French gives even the first-time visitor the confidence to keep his nose held high.

Print length

64 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Workman Publishing Company
Publication date

January 9, 1989
Dimensions

4.02 x 0.24 x 6.04 inches
ISBN-10

0894806165
ISBN-13

978-0894806162
See all details

Highest rated | Lowest Price
Howard Tomb
22
Paperback
$14.99

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Caveat emptor: Any traveler to France who actually says to the customs agent Bien sur, soyez le bienvenu pour reduire ma valise en miettes. Heureusement ce ne sont que des valises moches de Louis Vuitton! (Of course you're welcome to tear my suitcase apart. Lucky they're only these tacky Louis Vuitton bags!) is likely to find him or herself detained at the customs desk for a nice, long spell. Likewise, responding to a waiter's suggestion with Je reserve la lamproie a la bordelaise pour un occasion speciale (I'm saving a stew of blood-sucking eels for a very special occasion.) just about guarantees bad service. In other words, the French you'll learn from Wicked French for Travelers is probably best enjoyed at home before you go.

Like Henry Beard's French for Cats this slim volume is meant to amuse more than educate. Surely you wouldn't really expect some Parisian beauty to respond to a pick-up line like Comment vous appelez-vous, mon bijou de trente-six carats? (What is your name, my jewel of thirty-six carats?) or hope to make it out of a post office alive after demanding of the clerk if he has a porcupine stuck up his rear end (avez-vous un porc-epic coince entre les fesses?). Our advice: Read Wicked French and have a good laugh before you go--but take a different phrase book with you on your trip.

From the Back Cover

"Vous etes une super nana."
You are one fabulous babe.

"Vos yeux sont aussi bleus que l'ocean de mon amour pour vous est grand."
Your eyes are as blue as the sea of my love for you is large.

"Sans vous je ne suis qu'un ver de terre."
I am only an earthworm without you.

"Comment vous appelez-vous, mon bijou de trente-six carats?"
And what is your name, my jewel of thirty-six carats?

"Ciel! Voutre mari!"
Ah! Your husband!

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Workman Publishing Company; French and English Language edition (January 9, 1989)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 64 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0894806165
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0894806162
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.9 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 4.02 x 0.24 x 6.04 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #902,755 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews:
4.4 29 ratings

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About the author

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Howard Tomb

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I enjoy travel, as you might expect from the books I've written. When I go abroad I prefer not to have a lot of plans or even hotel reservations. Many of my favorite experiences on the road -- and the ones I remember best -- have been in situations where I'm out of my element. That often leads to physical or emotional discomfort, but it's almost always worth it.

For example, the first time I set out to scuba dive with sharks, in a place called Palau in the western Pacific, I felt scared. The water was 900 feet deep and I didn't have a weapon. But when they swam lazily over to check me out, my fear turned to awe. Their incredible beauty, curiosity and caution surprised me. (Yes, I would get out of the water if I saw a tiger or great white.)

My brother and I once walked into a tough little biker bar in New Richmond, a small town in southern Ohio. Everyone stopped talking and stared at us. We're city boys; they probably thought we were lost. But we ordered Bud longnecks and shots of Maker's Mark and punched some Patsy Cline into the jukebox, and pretty soon everyone was back in conversation. Within half an hour the owner was introducing us to her daughter and we were shooting pool with the bikers, even though we didn't agree on all the rules. They found out we were people, even though we live in New York and L.A., and we were able to see them as individuals through their beards and leather.

That, to me, is the point of travel: not just to "see things" but to make the world a bigger place.

Although my travel books are meant to be funny rather than practical, my hope is that they help people appreciate other perspectives better and take themselves and their frustrations a little less seriously.

Customer reviews

4.4 out of 5

29 global ratings

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Ralph Mac

Hilarious every time

Reviewed in the United States on January 6, 2013

Verified Purchase

It "teaches" you actual phrases that by their nature tell you jokingly about the culture. It's another book I regularly get for friends, and re-read it each time with pleasure.

One person found this helpful

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Annie

MUST have if you are going to France - for the laughs if nothing else!

Reviewed in the United States on March 21, 2017

Verified Purchase

HILARIOUS - just as the other versions are.

One person found this helpful

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Nicolas Conde

Five Stars

Reviewed in the United States on October 4, 2014

Verified Purchase

essential for understanding the joy of tourism - certainly not diplomacy!

One person found this helpful

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Jessica Marshall

Copy and Paste this book into your French Homework!

Reviewed in the United States on January 23, 2020

This is a must for any HS French student. I relied on it heavily when I had to craft those dull dialogues for class, the book covers many of the generic scenarios they provide.

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Kevin Kiersky

Easy Wicked French +++

Reviewed in the United States on September 11, 2011

Via simply, directly and graphically spelling it all out in triple parallel ongoing charts in the whole book -- "Wicked French" does encourage an easy start at proper pronunciation via good accent for letters, words and phrases -- and provides a relief from relentless hard study -- and may even serve as a source of shared happy-silly-ness for special French folks that you meet and know a little. The grammar and patterns are correct and timely as well -- if mostly informal. Some folks may take this small booklet too seriously -- yet, afterall, it does have the title "Wicked French". Indeed, it's not too useful for utter strangers -- who may figure YOU are utterly strange -- if you really cast phrases at them from this fine and fun item -- such as crazy lingo from the section "Friendly Customs Agents and Their Machine Guns". Anyone that actually casts phrases from this section at such real agents -- likely deserves the bullets cast back -- or at least being whipped with a Darwin Fish in return +++

One person found this helpful

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ACustomer

This was a nice idea, but poorly executed

Reviewed in the United States on September 7, 2014

Verified Purchase

Not my taste. This was a nice idea, but poorly executed. It's best suited for the recycle bin.

Reviewed in the United States on March 10, 2013

I bought this because I wanted to get my 12 year old son excited about starting to learn French next year. It did the job - he loves the insults and rude humor!

I only wish the slang was a bit more up-to-date.

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Rosyposie

Fun,but could be more.

Reviewed in the United States on February 19, 2016

Verified Purchase

This is a good book because it has the phonetic spelling,but it isn't as witty as the Italian version.

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