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Two and a Half Men

12 Seasons

Season 9
3.5 out of 5 stars (146) IMDb 7.1/10

The multi-talented Ashton Kutcher, whose success spans film, television and social media, joins the cast of the Emmy® Award-nominated TWO AND A HALF MEN as Internet billionaire Walden Schmidt in the hit comedy series about men, women, sex, dating, divorce, mothers, single parenthood, surrogate families, money and, most importantly, love.

Starring:
Jon Cryer, Angus T. Jones

Available to watch on supported devices.

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Season 9

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1. Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt

All is revealed in the ninth season premiere when ASHTON KUTCHER joins the cast as Walden Schmidt, an Internet billionaire with a broken heart.

TV-14 CC Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: September 18, 2011
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2. People Who Love Peepholes

Guest star JUDY GREER is introduced as Bridget, Walden's ex-wife in the second part of the ninth season premiere.

TV-14 CC Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: September 25, 2011
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3. Big Girls Don't Throw Food

Alan prepares Walden for a date with Bridget, while Jake decides to emulate Walden and drop out of school.

TV-14 CC Runtime: 20 minutes Release date: October 2, 2011
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4. Nine Magic Fingers

Trying to rebound from his recent separation, Walden goes looking for Mrs. Right, while Alan has an opportunity to reconcile with his on-again, off-again girlfriend Lyndsey (guest star COURTNEY THORNE-SMITH).

TV-14 CC Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: October 9, 2011
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5. A Giant Cat Holding A Churro

While Alan struggles to come to terms with Lyndsey's risqué movie past, Walden tries to cheer him up by throwing a party at the house.

TV-14 CC Runtime: 20 minutes Release date: October 16, 2011
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6. The Squat and Hover

Walden receives divorce papers from Bridget, but forgets his depression when he meets a girl who looks eerily like her.

TV-14 CC Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: October 23, 2011
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7. Those Fancy Japanese Toilets

Jake has a crush on his chemistry tutor (guest star MACEY CRUTHIRD)...who has a crush on Walden. Meanwhile, Alan obsesses over the journal his brother left him in his will.

TV-14 CC Runtime: 19 minutes Release date: October 30, 2011
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8. Thanks for the Intercourse

When Walden begins redecorating the beach house, Alan becomes overly emotional... and is pushed over the edge.

TV-14 CC Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: November 6, 2011
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9. Frodo's Headshots

Upon his release from the hospital, Alan is met with a slew of challenges that test his ability to cope...including GARY BUSEY!

TV-14 CC Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: November 13, 2011
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10. A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes

Walden hits it off with a British babe (guest star SOPHIE WINKLEMAN), but neither of them is sure he's ready to re-enter the dating world.

TV-14 CC Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: November 20, 2011
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11. A Lovely Landing Strip

Walden is trying his best to impress his new love interest, Zoey, when Bridget reappears in his life. MELANIE LYNSKEY returns as Rose.

TV-14 CC Runtime: 20 minutes Release date: December 4, 2011
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12. One False Move, Zimbabwe!

Walden's mother, Robin (guest star MIMI ROGERS) arrives and Alan is smitten with her - even as she reveals a secret about Walden's past that sends him into a downward spiral.

TV-14 CC Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: December 11, 2011
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13. Slowly And In A Circular Fashion

When Walden's ex-wife and his mother try to take control of his company and vote him off the board, Walden enlists Alan as an ally in the boardroom battle.

TV-14 CC Runtime: 20 minutes Release date: January 1, 2012
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14. A Possum on Chemo

Zoey tries to coerce Walden into cutting his hair and shaving, while Alan rekindles his relationship with Lyndsey.

TV-14 CC Runtime: 20 minutes Release date: January 15, 2012
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15. The Duchess of Dull-In-Sack

Walden tries to loosen up Zoey by sharing a couple of Berta's "special" brownies. MATTHEW MARSDEN guest stars as Zoey's ex-husband, Nigel.

TV-14 CC Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: February 5, 2012
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16. Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy

Strained relationships and girl-fighting result when a huge storm traps Walden, Alan, Zoey and Lyndsey in the house on Valentine's Day.

TV-14 CC Runtime: 19 minutes Release date: February 12, 2012
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17. Not In My Mouth

Walden and Zoey's relationship has a few ups and downs after they share a near-death experienc...and Walden shares his true feelings. Meanwhile, Alan wonders if Lyndsey has a drinking problem.

TV-14 CC Runtime: 19 minutes Release date: February 19, 2012
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18. The War Against Gingivitis

Things get tense in the Malibu house when Walden's estranged ex-business partner, Billy (guest star PATTON OSWALT), shows up looking to bury the hatchet with a money-making idea.

TV-14 CC Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: February 26, 2012
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19. Palmdale, ech

Alan and Lyndsey introduce their mothers to one another. Meanwhile, Jake and Eldridge enlist Walden to drive them to a high school house party that they never find.

TV-14 CC Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: March 18, 2012
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20. Grandma's Pie

Walden breaks the news to Zoey that he is going into business with his ex-wife. Meanwhile, Alan and Lyndsey try to come to terms with their moms' new relationship.

TV-14 CC Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: April 8, 2012
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21. Mr. Hose says 'Yes'

Walden's commitment is tested when Zoey and her daughter come to live with him - for a trial run. Meanwhile, Alan gets more than he bargained for when he moves in with Lyndsey.

TV-14 CC Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: April 15, 2012
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22. Why We Gave Up Woman

Academy Award® winner KATHY BATES guest stars as the ghost of Charlie Harper who pays a visit to Alan's hospital bedside after Alan suffers a minor heart attack.

TV-14 CC Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: April 29, 2012
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23. The Straw In My Donut Hole

On the 200th episode, Alan is showered with love and affection upon returning from the hospital, but Zoey isn't so sure it's deserved. Seinfeld's JASON ALEXANDER guest stars.

TV-14 CC Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: May 6, 2012
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24. Oh look! Al-Qaeda!

Jake is pressured to make a decision about his future on the ninth season finale. Comedian Patton Oswalt returns as Walden's ex-business partner, Billy.

TV-14 CC Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: May 13, 2012
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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: DVD
For 8 seasons "2 ½ Men" was one of the biggest shows on TV and garnered dozens of awards, including 4 People's Choice wins, and Emmy wins for editing, mixing, and supporting actor. Charlie Sheen was nominated for a Golden Globe in 2005 and 2006 and by the SAG in 2005 and 2010. Then the crash. Then the revival.

Is the new show as awful as some critics suggest? No, not when you compare it to the trash that passes for TV comedy these days (apologies to "Big Bang Theory" and "Two Broke Girls"). But when you look back at the previous 8 seasons, there has been a major drop in the quality of the writing and the acting.

It can't all be blamed on Ashton Kutcher, although one has to question whether or not you can take someone seriously when he continually appears naked and when so many jokes are made about the size of his penis. Really?! The "man boy" thing gets pretty tired.

Poor Jon Cryer has deteriorated not only as an actor, but his character on the show has changed to someone with no redeeming qualities. In the previous seasons he had a job, tried to relate to his son, and did his best to get along with his ex wives even though he was inept. Now he is simply a manipulative deadbeat. There's no humor there.

In past seasons lots of laughs could be counted on whenever Conchata Ferrell (the housekeeper), Holland Taylor (the mother), and Melanie Lynskey (Rose, the stalker) showed up. In Season 9 we never see Rose, rarely see the mother, and the housekeeper's character has also deteriorated greatly. She simply isn't funny anymore.

About the only good thing in Season 9 is that Angus T Jones seems to have come into his own, and his scenes are finally funny, after several seasons of blah.

What can we do?
Read more ›
4 Comments 48 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
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Format: DVD
Where once stood a funny sitcom about single life, seduction and relationship, which was accompanied with brilliant black humor, sarcasm and funny puns,
now stand a rubbish sitcom with a stoned teen, a billionaire without brain and balls ... and Alen, antisocial than ever, accompanied with cheap fart- and penisjokes.
And if that does not work, then we show Ashton naked for the umpteenth time. Yes THIS is always funny. :/

With the 9th Season "Charlie Harper" wasn't the only one who has died.

Honestly your money is better spent if you take it, put it into a rocket and shoot it to space.

All that's left to do now is to drink, until the part of the brain that creates mental pictures of this season is dead. ;)
1 Comment 17 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
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Format: Amazon Video Verified Purchase
The producers might not want to admit but without Charlie S. Two and a Half Men just isn't a good TV program.

The character of Alan has become absolutely sickening. He no longer even bothers to work and spends most of his air time in white underwear. Just admit the mistake and cancel this program.
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Well I agree with most posters that Two and a Half Men did seem to die with Charlie Sheen's exit and the demise of his character. It definatley is NOT the same show. I really, really tried to give it a chance. Ashton Kutcher in my opinion, is really not that funny and certainly was not as funny as Charlie Sheen. Alot of what made the original Two and a Half Men so funny, was Charlie's womanizing, and drunkin ways and how the rest of the characters had to suffer...especially Alan which was downright hilarious. Ashton as Walden seems annoying and there is no laughter there..as I said my opinion.

Also alot of comments talked about Jon Cryer and how his character has gotten worse and I agree. There is one thing leeching off your brother but a stranger? anyway the thing I think what also made the original(yes i will call it that)better, is that Sheen and Cryer really seemed to have a great chemistry with each other. I don't seem to get that with Cryer and Kutcher and one poster said that the show should be now called "Alan and two knuckleheads" which is funny. Though I will pass on this one...I would rather stick with the original and as my title says, glad I own seasons 1-8 with CHARLIE.
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By AS on January 10, 2012
a short conclusion after the first two shows: stupid story, bad jokes

i'll stop watching season nine. the real "two and a half men" sitcom ends with season eight.
2 Comments 34 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
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By Craig on November 1, 2011
Verified Purchase
This show was Charlie Sheen's stage. Without him, it's just another annoying sit-com. Watched the first two shows (I mean commercials for the Fisker Karma) and as much as I wanted it to work out, Ashton Kutcher just butchered it. I really like Angus T. Jones and Conchita Ferrell and it was just getting interesting again having Rose back in the picture. Sad to see this sit-com bite the dust, but bite the dust it did, and hard.
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Format: Amazon Video Verified Purchase
I made the mistake of watching the first episode of season 10 first so perhaps I was tainted before I saw this episode. I downloaded this one because I was interested in finding out how easy it was to integrate Ashton into Charlie's shadow. The funeral scene seemed more like the writer's were intentionally slamming sheen himself, for revenge or spite because it sure wasn't for humor. Ashton's character is not sympathetic in the least. If I wanted to see pot humor I'd watch old Cheech and Chong movies, at least they're funny. So far, this show sucks but I suppose when you have as much money as a major network, you can throw away money on two or three seasons of pure crap before someone in management realizes the dog they've been feeding.
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