Big Little Man: In Search of My Asian Self Kindle Edition

Just got done reading this over two days, and as a reader who can closely relate to the topics discussed (i.e. a twenty something asian guy) I was overall pleased with the work that Mr. Tizon has done here. His book touches base on a lot of topics that I suspect many Asian guys including myself have dwelled on, whether from time to time after a perceived slight or obsessively with self-defeat. I believe he did a good job telling his story of trying to fit in while interweaving a larger historical context of the interaction between East and West that has largely demeaned people of yellow skin. I also respected his measured approach and evenhandedness in not connecting the dots just to fit a dogmatic doctrine, as I feel is too often the case in some humanities. While some issues seemed to be painted with a broad brush, there was restraint and acknowledgement of gray areas that a lesser writer might not have shown. Alex presents plenty of cases of clear-cut racism, such as his encounter with the Gun Boy in the Bronx, but there are others where things aren't so clear-cut, like his girlfriend in Alaska who reassures him that she doesn't care about the size of his penis before pulling his pants down. He subsequently mulls over whether she just said that because he is Asian, but is self-aware enough to acknowledge the possibility that the problem is his brooding and pathos. A lot of hardship has come his way because people have put him in a box for his race, but Alex Tizon is mindful enough to realize that his pathos has amplified his pain in many ways, blinding him to a lot of positive things and people that have come his way. As a kind of neurotic, introspective guy that tends to overthink situations, I can definitely relate to that uneasiness and uncertainty when I wonder if a slight is real, or just in my head.

The book was highly readable, and I think the author underplays his capabilities as a writer when assessing his own talents. Some recollections of events from his past occasionally seemed to have a bit too dramatic of a flair in describing a scene, in the style of some immersion journalism articles you might find in Rolling Stone. But otherwise, Alex gets straight to the point and offers a great glimpse into his thoughtful mind without any pretense. The parts of the book that dragged a bit for me were on topics that I've heard plenty of times before, but that's owing more to my over-familiarity with said topics (lack of Asian males on screen, the perception of them as sexless, etc). The most interesting aspects of the book were looking at Asian figures and interactions with the West further back in history, such as the explorer Zheng He who preceded Columbus by some decades, and theories on the perpetuation of the view of Asians as servile with the wave of Chinese immigrants to the American Wild West. Tizon's recollection of the coverage of the My Lai massacre and the relative indifference to the Killing Fields of Cambodia in American classrooms are examples from more recent history were impactful. Another excerpt that stood out for me was his recollection of a new female Asian coworker at a newsroom where he once worked, who was at first doted over, but was quickly turned on when she showed her competence, independence and ambition. Overall a very eclectic array of experiences and events that meld in what I at least thought was a pretty cohesive package.

As an Asian American man who is about a couple generations removed from when Alex Tizon first came to America, his experiences written on paper elicited a sense of familiarity, while also confirming my belief that I have been relatively fortunate compared to those who came before me. Time has brought positive change, and while there's a long way to go, the trend points to better things. I felt sad at the pathos that still seems to have a grip on Mr. Tizon, although it is one that has loosened and changed as his views on manliness, duty, and life have changed. And as he theorized about the young, confident (at least on the surface) young Asian men that he has met on his Oregon University campus, my relatively sunnier disposition is likely a result of growing up in a more accepting time, with more examples of Asians in high profile positions that are taking steam out of persistent stereotypes.

I know this review has dragged on, but there were many feelings I felt I needed to put on page about this book. And while the subject matter may on the surface may only pertain to Asian males (and females), it's really about larger issues of self-worth and inner confidence, about finding a place in a world that may put their own, often demeaning and limited expectations on you. Really, anyone can get some perspective and some enlightenment from this half biography, half history lesson.

While the narrative reads like a memoir with side-musings containing historical context, the overall book is a painful and potent reflection of what it's like for many Asian American men growing up and living in the anglosphere (US, UK, AUS, CAN). It touches on issues of Orientalism, historical system racism, media portrayal, sexual exploitation of Asian women, and emasculation of Asian men.

These ideas aren't new; in fact you can find the same painful experiences expressed in Asian online spaces (like reddit, Twitter, and blogs/podcasts). The main difference is that this book is well-written, expressive, and far more introspective than the often inarticulate frustrations of the online space, which is often tinged and muddled by anger, bitterness, and desperation.

I would implore any Asian American (especially men) to give this a read. Non-Asians can learn a lot as well, but our struggles will likely mean nothing to you as our suffering does not impact the rest of the West in any measurable way.

I discovered this book at a time in my life when the author's thoughts and insights couldn't have been more instrumental. His open and intimate examination of the Asian American male experience made me reflect on my own as an Indian American female. In particular, I saw much more clearly how the media and cultural values of my American childhood (the late 70's and 80's) contributed to how I felt about my appearance and ultimately myself - never quite inside the right box. I related to his struggle for self-acceptance, and his book helped me move towards my own. This is a wonderful and important work and I look forward to reading more from him.

Thank you Alex Tizon for writing this book. Wow, every chapter were experiences and emotions I've personally been through and emotions felt. As a born and bred Asian American in my early twenties, the adolescent and college life examples hit home pretty hard. I appreciate his honest raw opinions and unforgiving truths. Reading this book gave me a liberating feeling, like a weight off my consciousness. Maybe because I know I'm not the only one that tripped into that dang 'hole'. "Big Little Man" will open your mind to the comprehensive challenges we live through daily, that sometimes tug at those heart strings. But lets not forget all of the progressions. I think all Asian American guys need to read this book!

I love books written by journalists and being Filipino-American, I relate to everything this writer discusses, from the obvious to the unspoken. He points out the lame things about our own culture, as well as the Western views/attitudes towards us; the pro & cons of being Asian in America as a man or woman.