Enter your mobile number or email address below and we'll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.

  • Apple
  • Android
  • Windows Phone
  • Android

To get the free app, enter your mobile phone number.
Download to your computer
Kindle Cloud Reader
Facebook Twitter Pinterest
Buy Used
$4.00
FREE Shipping on orders over $25.
Used: Good | Details
Sold by BaySideBooks
Fulfilled by Amazon
Condition: Used: Good
Comment: This item has been gently used.

Fulfillment by Amazon (FBA) is a service we offer sellers that lets them store their products in Amazon's fulfillment centers, and we directly pack, ship, and provide customer service for these products. Something we hope you'll especially enjoy: FBA items qualify for FREE Shipping and .

If you're a seller, Fulfillment by Amazon can help you increase your sales. We invite you to learn more about Fulfillment by Amazon .

Sorry, there was a problem.

There was an error retrieving your Wish Lists. Please try again.

Sorry, there was a problem.

List unavailable.
Have one to sell? Sell on Amazon
Flip to back Flip to front
Listen Playing... Paused   You're listening to a sample of the Audible audio edition.
Learn more
See this image

Lost & Found: The Adoption Experience Paperback – April 11, 1988

by
Betty Jean Lifton (Author)
› Visit Amazon's Betty Jean Lifton Page
Find all the books, read about the author, and more.
See search results for this author
Are you an author? Learn about Author Central
Betty Jean Lifton (Author)
4.3 out of 5 stars 23 customer reviews
See all 7 formats and editions Hide other formats and editions
Price
New from Used from
Hardcover
"Please retry"
—
$117.07 $4.89
Paperback
"Please retry"
$20.95
$20.95 $12.38
Paperback, April 11, 1988
—
$1.83 $0.01
click to open popover
NO_CONTENT_IN_FEATURE
The latest book club pick from Oprah
"The Underground Railroad" by Colson Whitehead is a magnificent novel chronicling a young slave's adventures as she makes a desperate bid for freedom in the antebellum South. See more

Product Details

  • Paperback: 321 pages
  • Publisher: Harper Perennial (April 11, 1988)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0060971320
  • ISBN-13: 978-0060971328
  • Product Dimensions: 5.3 x 0.8 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.2 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (23 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,570,153 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

    •  Would you like to update product info or give feedback on images?

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5 starsA must-read for adoptees who are searching/reunited
By Cheryl (crichmon@u.arizona.edu) on June 23, 1999
Format: Paperback
Most Triadians (adoptees, birth parents, adoptive parents) know that BJ Lifton is one of the definitive voices on adoption issues, and this book is one of my personal favorites of hers. If you buy no other search/reunion book, this is the one to have IMO.
I began my search for my birthmother in 1986, locating her finally in 1997. "Lost and Found" in particular helped me to deal with a lot of the issues that come up while searching, AND once you are reunited. There are even chapters on birthfathers and on siblings, something most books fail to mention or deal with.
It is important for those who decide to search to carefully consider their reasons for searching, and also to think about what their expectations are. If you are not prepared for the possibility of "anything can happen", you may be highly dissapointed or even devasted by the results.
I am glad that I chose to search, it has made my life complete in a way that wouldn't have been possible before I had the answers to my questions about where I came from, and who "my people" were. Though my reunion has had some major ups and downs, I don't regret my decision and I thank BJ Lifton for her insights that helped me get through the entire process.
~Reunited adoptee and adoptee rights activist Still ISO birthfather
Comment 43 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
5.0 out of 5 starsIf you read only one...this is it.
By C. Wing on October 11, 2000
Format: Paperback
In my life, reunion wasn't reality until my life was my own-so I went about it with some organizational ability. Information and what to do with it was what I wanted and this gave me great help in that direction. Those triad members who believe their status hasn't affected their lives, just haven't figured it out yet. My adoption 50 years ago has colored every relationship since that first one that ended (physically) 3 weeks after my birth. In order to put together the pieces of 'why' I am....important parts needed to be found, so I set about looking. BJ Lifton helped with a compassion I hadn't found before her book. There are many emotions connected with searching-and finding-no matter how pleasant or how ugly-and one Can't anticipate many of them without some help. Help is within the pages of this one. The one piece of information-above all else-she taught me, was that my search was mine. I owned it and could choose to do it, or not, at my level of comfort. After reunion, boundaries need to be built, in order to protect that comfort. The book helped me start that so when the time came, I could hold back until I knew just how far I could go-how far I could allow the others to come. All in all, it was like having a big sister, walk through it with me. She's a good friend-even if she's not aware I'm out here! Thank you BJ!
Comment 36 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
5.0 out of 5 starsA straight forward book on adoption.
By A Customer on July 5, 1998
Format: Paperback
As an adoptee, there are many questions and emotions that one is often too scared to ask or express. Lifton goes beyond the "taboo" of adoption in this book not only with her own experiences, but also the experiences of others. In "Lost and Found", all aspects of adoption are discussed, from all views (adoptee, adoptive parent, birthparent). Reading this helped me understand my own feelings, and to better understand the feelings of my parents, and my birth mother.
Comment 17 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
5.0 out of 5 starsA great book for the Natural Mother to.....
By A Customer on June 16, 2000
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
As the Birth Mother I found this book to help me understand what the adopted and the adoptive parents, as well as siblings and additional family feel and are going through. I feel eternally grateful to my son for having the courage to want to find and have a relationship with me and this book helps me understand him and his mom and dad and what they have gone through. Thanks
Comment 15 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
5.0 out of 5 starsread this before anything else on the subject
By Michael Thomas Angelo on October 4, 2012
Format: Paperback
I am an adoptee who read this book for the first time when I was a 16 year old (in 1990) struggling with my identity with no clue as to where I came from. This book was my first exposure to the subculture of adoption and it resonated on many levels with me. Over 15 years later I had the opportunity to communicate with the author after friending her on Facebook and was able to let her know how much her book influenced me and catalyzed my search and reunion. I completed the experience in 1994 before the advent of the Internet and actually discovered the organization that aided my search in the back of this book's resource section. The two ladies that made up my search organization were gumshoes operating on a shoestring budget but they managed to track down my entire biological family in a matter of a few months. Before reading this book, I wasn't aware that my feelings and experiences as a lost adoptee were valid or that there were others out there like me. I felt instantly a part of something after reading this book. Unlike her second book, Journey of the Adopted Self, that focused on the unique experiences of the adoptee, this book touched on issues inherent to all members of the triad. BJ Lifton passed away about a year after I "met" her online and I feel she ought to be canonized for her contributions to the adoption community.
Comment 8 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
5.0 out of 5 starsYour Source for Everything Adoption Related: Whether You are Adopted, Know Someone Adopted, or Thinking of Adopting
By Laurence Galian on September 25, 2014
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
The best book out there for people who want to understand more about their own adoption, the adoption of their loved ones, and mandatory if you are considering adopting a child. This book opened my eyes and those of many of my friends. I searched for and found my biological records in New York State. This book was a valuable tool in that search.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse

Most Recent Customer Reviews

3.0 out of 5 starsI like the Joe Soll books much better

I like the Joe Soll books much better. I did not like this book but it does have some information.

Published 17 months ago by Nancy
5.0 out of 5 starsexcellent

excellent

Published 22 months ago by Angela Lloyd
5.0 out of 5 starsOne of the best adoption reform books ever

This was the first adoption reform book I ever read, back in 1980. Years later, BJ's book remains so important. Read more

Published on July 9, 2014 by Alison Ward
1.0 out of 5 starsTerrible, biased book.

I found this book to be poorly written and biased. The author makes no attempt to clarify blanket statements about what "all" adoptees/birth parents/adoptive parent feel... Read more

Published on April 28, 2014 by Jane M. Ritter
5.0 out of 5 starsa classic on this subject

Got an old library copy, but as a middle-aged adoptee, her story spoke directly to my situation more than some newer books might. Read more

Published on November 19, 2013 by D. C. Kosobucki
4.0 out of 5 starsNot Perfect, but a Must Read

Although this book is not perfect, it does give everyone's perspective and that is invaluable. There is no room for individual selfishness in the adoption triad which includes the... Read more

Published on September 7, 2013 by Rachel Kind
4.0 out of 5 starsGood, but biased

I got the feeling that because the author had issues with adoption, the writing was biased toward the fact that if you are adopted, you MUST have issues. Read more

Published on January 27, 2013 by Mattie Engler
4.0 out of 5 starsEssential Reading

This book is right on-point. Superbly explains the issues and complications of adoption. This should be compulsory reading for anyone involved in adoption, including adoptees,... Read more

Published on August 11, 2011 by David
5.0 out of 5 starsI Know Your Out There Somewhere the reunion

The real life experience of an adoption reunion, it failed just 3 short years later....no book can ever describe the what and why it did.

[...].

Published on March 29, 2010 by vance remele
5.0 out of 5 starsAn Enlightening and Thought Provoking Analysis of the Effects of...

As an adoptee who searched and reunited with my birth family many years ago in my teens and have experienced wonderful and life enriching relationships because of it, I found this... Read more

Published on May 23, 2008 by J.C.

There's a problem loading this menu right now.

Learn more about Amazon Prime.