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Customer Discussions > Fiction forum

Creative Writing Challenge: Create a silly opening sentence


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Showing 76-100 of 245 posts in this discussion
Posted on Apr 28, 2012 4:37:35 AM PDT
Ku says:
:)

Thanks, Baron Sardonicus, just a couple of lil contributions to the thread.

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 28, 2012 5:06:56 AM PDT
Oldog_Oltrix says:
@MichaelH --
And I had a hearty LOL at your laughing laugh line !!!

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 28, 2012 5:14:10 AM PDT
Oldog_Oltrix says:
@Ku --
My brain re-drew your race track story as a cartoon, and I keep bursting into laughter as I re-envision it over and over !!!

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 28, 2012 5:18:48 AM PDT
Oldog_Oltrix says:
@Ness a --
Is that hilarious Lord Ashcroft sentence ala Bronte or Austen, or would I be more likely to find it on the "Romances" rack ???

Posted on Apr 28, 2012 5:25:43 AM PDT
Oldog_Oltrix says:
Every fiber of her being quivered with ecstascy as the boy in the yellow boots sensuously soaped her car's body before sending it into the chamber with the spinning brushes.

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 28, 2012 5:33:40 AM PDT
Last edited by the author on Apr 28, 2012 9:22:34 AM PDT
Ku says:
Heheheh, yeah, it does work quite well when you Scooby-doo it.

Posted on Apr 28, 2012 6:48:04 AM PDT
Last edited by the author on Apr 28, 2012 7:32:35 AM PDT
Sirena says:
John Stanley Stevenson pulled up his socks and, once he was satisfied with their position, spat on his shoes, polishing each one against his calves: their mothers looked on, contently mooing.

Edit for clarity.

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 28, 2012 7:09:34 AM PDT
Oldog_Oltrix says:
Oh, Trina, You didn't actually ... hahahahaha ... groan ... hahahahaha ... groan ... hahahahahaha ...

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 28, 2012 7:31:45 AM PDT
Sirena says:
Just realized that the sentence is absurd....*slaps forehead*- it should be "mothers", not "mother"

Posted on Apr 28, 2012 9:26:20 AM PDT
Last edited by the author on Apr 28, 2012 7:27:45 PM PDT
Madman loved repeatedly revving his loud bike engine through quiet neighborhoods, but as he passed between the two 18-wheelers they converged, sideswiping each other.

Sorry everyone. Forgive me for indulging in a little wishful thinking about a bad neighbor!

Posted on Apr 28, 2012 11:42:43 AM PDT
Last edited by the author on Apr 28, 2012 11:49:26 PM PDT
John Moralee says:
(In homage to Charles Dickens - perhaps the first sentence of a book he could have written if he had been born more recently ...)

The Mystery of Edwin, Dude

Mr Chatter-on-Twitter-Facebook discovered a most unusual email from Edwin within his in-box upon his return to London that cold summer morning - which he opened while travelling in a crowded train between his home and the cathedral-shaped office building of Moody, Miserable and Morose, the largest legal firm in Britain, where he worked as a lowly clerk on the 18th floor, next to the loudest lift in the known world, in a small cubicle containing a computer, desk, desk lamp and a waste basket filled with pencil shavings that had never been emptied in fifteen years - that turned out to be from an old colleague he had last seen at Oxford on the day he graduated with a First in Dead Ancient Languages and learnt a great and dangerous secret that he had, until receiving that fateful email, completely forgotten.

Posted on Apr 28, 2012 12:05:14 PM PDT
He dragged the coffin into the castle's courtyard having purposely saved it for last.  As the surprised master vampire smoldered in the noonday sun, an exhausted Van Helsing quipped; "Have a nice day!"

Posted on Apr 28, 2012 5:37:20 PM PDT
Huddled warmly under his favorite blanket before the TV, Osama marveled at just how dashing he looked firing an AK-47, but as his bedroom door imploded he recalled; "Oh that's right, I did that thing!"

(Revenge is a dish best served by Seal Team Six!)

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 28, 2012 9:40:18 PM PDT
mochecat says:
Ha!

Posted on Apr 28, 2012 9:41:21 PM PDT
As they watched the sexy young Latina gyrate on the stage before them, senior Agent Johnson again chided novice Agent Robinson.   "Relax kid and stop worrying will ya?  How many times do I have to tell you, what happens in Cartagena stays in Cartagena!"

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 28, 2012 9:42:10 PM PDT
mochecat says:
Trina, that's very good. Made me laugh out loud.

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 28, 2012 10:02:21 PM PDT
Carolina says:
A good one, I think, Dan. Great play on the Vegas motto!

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 28, 2012 10:22:00 PM PDT
I think I need a hobby. I have way too much time on my hands!

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 28, 2012 10:28:35 PM PDT
Oldog_Oltrix says:
@Dan --

This is a hobby.

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 28, 2012 10:30:11 PM PDT
You know what Oldog, when you're right, you're right!!!

Posted on Apr 28, 2012 11:30:44 PM PDT
At the noon whistle, construction workers Careless Carl and Luckless Louie broke for lunch up on the high steel, but as he sat, Louie fatally failed to notice Carl's discarded banana peel laying on the girder beneath him.

Posted on Apr 29, 2012 9:10:38 AM PDT
Spike kept on crawling, another fifty feet or so would put him adjacent to the prison garage where a guard's uniform awaited him, but a weakened section of the air duct collapsed sending him crashing onto the desktop of the startled Warden Harding.

Posted on Apr 29, 2012 9:19:21 AM PDT
Ku says:
Little Red Riding Hood was not expecting her observation on Grandma's big nostrils to be met with 'all the better to snort you with, my dear' from the disguised junkie wolf.

In reply to an earlier post on Apr 29, 2012 9:21:33 AM PDT
I was thinking a bad period romance, but you never know!

Posted on Apr 29, 2012 9:27:44 AM PDT
Ku says:
Having forgotten the keys to his home yet again, Pedro the Tortoise decided there was nothing to do but break into his house.
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Discussion in:  Fiction forum
Participants:  51
Total posts:  245
Initial post:  Apr 25, 2012
Latest post:  May 24, 2013

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