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Self Promotion is not permitted on this forum!

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Showing 1-25 of 273 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Nov 19, 2012, 2:50:50 PM PST
Splinker says:
So someone else talk about me.


Posted on Nov 19, 2012, 2:57:37 PM PST
The forums would crumble without your august presence.

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 19, 2012, 2:58:59 PM PST
Psylocide says:
It's November genius.

(wait for it)

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 19, 2012, 3:08:46 PM PST
Last edited by the author on Nov 19, 2012, 3:09:23 PM PST
I march to a different drummer

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 19, 2012, 3:12:42 PM PST
Splinker says:
I am 95% literary glue.

Posted on Nov 19, 2012, 3:42:46 PM PST
Last edited by the author on Nov 19, 2012, 4:32:31 PM PST
Hey Splink... I'm busy right now. Can I ignore you some other time?

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 19, 2012, 3:47:53 PM PST
You just can't stand that Hans Gruber is stealing the limelight, can you?

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 19, 2012, 3:52:32 PM PST
[Deleted by the author on Nov 19, 2012, 3:52:42 PM PST]

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 19, 2012, 3:57:24 PM PST
Splinker says:
He thinks he is such a special snowflake. I was going to make a bunch of sock puppets. Gin more, G string , Straightedge etc and have a two hundred page conversation with my selves . But I lost interest.

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 19, 2012, 4:02:01 PM PST
Bipolar schizophrenia?

Posted on Nov 19, 2012, 4:28:32 PM PST
Splinker says:
Yes and no

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 19, 2012, 7:17:53 PM PST
points for picking up on the straight line.

Posted on Nov 19, 2012, 8:59:50 PM PST
Splinker says:
Bump. For all those special snowflakes who need our guidance.

Posted on Nov 19, 2012, 9:06:19 PM PST
Good idea, the thread was getting buried in the page behind all of the other new threads.

Posted on Nov 20, 2012, 1:58:24 AM PST
Irish reader says:
Hi! I'm Irish Reader! There are a lot of snowflakes on this forum who think they're special, but none of them are as special as me! I'm an extra-special snowflake, the prettiest darn snowflake you ever clapped eyes on...

Oh hang on - thought this thread ENDORSED self-promotion.

Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.

Posted on Nov 20, 2012, 2:00:37 AM PST
Irish reader says:
Maybe Splinks could change his moniker to 'John McLane'.

Posted on Nov 20, 2012, 4:17:51 AM PST
Splinker says:
I just spent two days looking for BBA. Who wants links for breakfast!

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 20, 2012, 6:03:25 AM PST
Splinker says:
We should have a National Ignore Splinker Day, where everyone changes their FB status to "I am ignoring Splinker!" with appropriate book links.

Posted on Nov 20, 2012, 6:03:49 AM PST
Splinker says:
Me, please see OP.

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 20, 2012, 6:24:10 AM PST
Last edited by the author on Nov 20, 2012, 6:27:08 AM PST
Splinker says:
Hello Irish Reader.

Let me explain.

In the time before -- The time before the moderators -- there were no people on these forums. Just authors. Lots of them. Stealing precious bandwith with their books and spam. books and spam. spam and books. Dat's all there was. The forum were dying, they were. Honest, decent people didn't stand a chance in the Wasteland.

Then they came. Out of the dust and desert, riding on heat waves, smelling of tarmac and blood and rust. Back then, no one called them ARM, least not to their faces. Many welcomed them, others were silent.

They were "The Moderators," and they came to clean house. Teachers, and homemakers and homebreakers they were, the lot of them. But that was another life. Here in the Wasteland, they were something more.

Threads went up. New threads about strange things. Like 'TOS' and 'BBA' and 'More BBA' and others. They meant well, in the beginning. I believe that. There was the 'report abuse button,' but that wasn't enough. It didn't FEEL like they were in control.

So, they formed a group. A group dedicated to do what Amazon had already done. Keeping self-promotion off the forum. Their methods were hard. Some might say cruel. At first, they were happy to bait and ambush authors that wandered into the Wasteland. There would be the initial post telling the prey that they had to go to a special place -- MOA -- if they wanted to talk about themselves; the Amazon rubber room. Then they would wait patiently for the prey to respond with something like "why?" After that, it was only a matter of time before the posts, blogs, Haitian rituals and whatnot began. And once begun, it couldn't stop. Not while there was anything left.

It was then people started whispering "ARM," to themselves and loved ones around quiet emails and unread threads.

Maybe something could have been done back then, in the early days. Something to stop the madness. But nothing was. Some were scared. Some didn't care. And some thought it was a good idea. The forums were a better place, and they didn't care how it got that way.

Then the hunting started. ARM wasn't content to sit back and wait for the occasional author to wander in with their angst and error riddled tomes. ARM was hungry, and ARM wanted to hunt.

So they set out, searching out books with questionable reviews, or authors who were arguing with readers who posted bad reviews. They scoured the wild Amazon, and when one found prey, there were links, and glee, and much gnashing of teeth.


In reply to an earlier post on Nov 20, 2012, 6:44:13 AM PST
Wondering to myself [as I ignore Splinker] if there will be a HEA to his story.

Posted on Nov 20, 2012, 7:08:52 AM PST
Irish reader says:
Then a debonair stranger came trotting into town, a gambler and hustler with a twinkle in his eye, and suddenly the good folk of KBF knew things would never be the same again...

In reply to an earlier post on Nov 20, 2012, 7:09:46 AM PST
Splinker says:
No Spoiler Alerts?

Posted on Nov 20, 2012, 7:17:30 AM PST
Last edited by the author on Nov 20, 2012, 7:17:41 AM PST
Irish reader says:
Unless you're now expecting the exact opposite of this particular scenario - no.

Posted on Nov 20, 2012, 7:55:09 AM PST
Splinker says:
Soon, the town of KBF was safe again. But what at cost? Up on BBA Hill, Kirkfield the undertaker was kept busy, sometimes carving three tombstones a day, complete with links and brief commentary.

All this was going on at the same time as the great Nemesis war. The Nemesis were an indigenous people who claimed a birthright to the KBF. More interested in fun and chatting, they at first welcomed the Moderators. The Nemesis were used to having all the attention and believed there was plenty to share. But the Moderators were greedy. Soon there great herds of attention dwindled and the Nemesis soon discovered they would have to fight the Moderators for the remaining attention.

There was a great war, with both sides destroying each other's threads. Followed by an uneasy truce. Eventually, the Nemesis and Moderates interbred and both proud cultures lost and gained something.

End of Part 2
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Discussion in:  Kindle Book forum
Participants:  20
Total posts:  273
Initial post:  Nov 19, 2012
Latest post:  Dec 12, 2012

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