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Customer Discussions > Romance forum

Hilarious mistakes in (mostly self-published) books

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Initial post: Feb 27, 2012, 1:45:09 AM PST
Last edited by the author on Feb 27, 2012, 8:17:51 AM PST
Rena Ruadh says:
Have you folks come across words in books that made you laugh out loud? Words that are completely wrong but were not captured by the spell checker as they are proper words in their own right? Some of them are so utterly hilarious that I thought they might deserve their own thread for a bit of light relief.

I just read 'plutonic' instead of 'platonic' - hmmmm, what's Pluto got to do in a romance....?

My personal favourite was where the author described the tip of the male member as 'bibulous' (probably meaning 'bulbous') - 'given to or marked by the consumption of alcoholic drink'????

Has anybody else come across some of those?

Posted on Feb 27, 2012, 2:05:59 AM PST
ambrosia says:
"They scatted around each other on tender hooks"!!!!!

Presumably the author meant,"They scattered (though that doesn't really make sense either; 'danced' would be a more appropriate word) around each other on tenterhooks.". As written, however, I could not help but wonder what in the world the couple was doing, how the act of defecation was involved, and whether they had recently had limbs replaced with hooks!!!!!

Posted on Feb 27, 2012, 2:26:37 AM PST
Reviewer Aus says:
I read a romantic scene where the hero touched the heroine's "waste".

Complete turn-off!!

In reply to an earlier post on Feb 27, 2012, 2:29:46 AM PST
HJ Leonard says:
Oh, gross!

I can't really think of any specifics right now, but as the op says, this is a very common occurance in self-pubbed books. Homophones in particular are big culprits (bear vs bare, wear vs where, etc). And boy they can be hilarious, for sure.

Posted on Feb 27, 2012, 4:54:25 AM PST
ambrosia says:
This thread is hysterical. I wish i'd noted more instances, but i usually try to ignore them. And my kindle has a bad habit of freezing when i create a bookmark or note, so i don't bother to mark them unless it just gets ridiculous.

Case in point: One author - who claims to have a master's in creative writing - tried to show off her education by using polysyllabic words. If only she'd used them correctly. . . . She's not an example of an author unwittingly misusing language, but of pretentious and stilted overuse of a thesaurus.

"Her grin expressed tenderness as opposed to the askance (sic) turn of her head." Another example: "The time for his body to rejuvenate during the night had turncoated, providing for him only the stress of what might have been."
Huh???? I think I know what she's trying to say, but . . .

In this same book, which is a regency romance, she tried to use phrases from the time period. If only she knew what she was talking about . . .

"'You suppose that you will be believed over me. Your Bradbury tale will be too wild!'". She means "banbury tale" - especially since Ray Bradbury hadn't been born yet!!!!

In reply to an earlier post on Feb 27, 2012, 5:14:48 AM PST
Reviewer Aus says:
"And my kindle has a bad habit of freezing when i create a bookmark or note, so i don't bother to mark them unless it just gets ridiculous.'

Completely off-topic, but I thought I was the only one who had that problem! It's so annoying, because I NEED bookmarks and highlights. I really do!

Posted on Feb 27, 2012, 5:44:53 AM PST
Bitchie says:
Mine does it as well, but I have found that if I just leave it alone, it will eventually finish the highlight and start moving again. Sometimes it takes up to a minute or two, very annoying when things are just getting good!

In reply to an earlier post on Feb 27, 2012, 6:32:12 AM PST
Reviewer Aus says:
Yeah, that's what mine does most of the time. But geez, the reason I'm adding a bookmark or highlight is because I'm at a great point in the book. That means it's the Worst Possible Time for the stupid thing to freeze!
THIS is why I love my paperbacks!!

Back on topic...
It's not exactly funny, but I hate seeing "then-than" and "who's-whose" confused in published work. One that Australians and Kiwis are often guilty of is "bought" instead of "brought".

I know there're other really funny mistakes I've seen, but they're not coming to mind.

**Off to do research.**

In reply to an earlier post on Feb 27, 2012, 6:39:45 AM PST
Jmv_17 says:
Or "your" versus "you're". I've seen that too many times to count.

Posted on Feb 27, 2012, 8:22:07 AM PST
ambrosia says:
And, of course, "there," "their," and "they're" or "it's" and "its."

Posted on Feb 27, 2012, 8:59:26 AM PST
Last edited by the author on Feb 27, 2012, 9:01:02 AM PST
JerseyGirl says:
In one of JR Ward's books, I think it was "Lover Enshrined" but it could be another, the characters were discussing an area used for incarceration, calling it a "penile colony." LOL! The image that phrase brings up! It's supposed to be "penal colony.'

I've seen the word "lathed" used in place of "laved." Ouch!

Posted on Feb 27, 2012, 9:21:43 AM PST
LuckyGirl says:
Last night I read several instances of the hero being kept locked in a "dudgeon". I'm sure he was deeply resentful of his confinement, but "dungeon" is the appropriate spelling!

Posted on Feb 27, 2012, 9:58:32 AM PST
These are awesome. I think we should keep the thread going whenever we read something particularly hilarious.

As an aside, I confess to reading some kindle smut (OK, a lot of kindle smut). Is it too much to ask that the authors of the smut actually know how to write (some of them appear actually illiterate)? Some of the language in those books. Hoo boy. Bad. Just bad. Sampling is crucial.

Posted on Feb 27, 2012, 10:02:28 AM PST
Bitchie says:
Have you joined our Kindle Smut group over on goodreads?

In reply to an earlier post on Feb 27, 2012, 10:04:37 AM PST
Curmudgeon says:
no, how do I get there?

In reply to an earlier post on Feb 27, 2012, 10:05:03 AM PST
Just last week.

In reply to an earlier post on Feb 27, 2012, 10:13:06 AM PST
Bitchie says:

In reply to an earlier post on Feb 27, 2012, 10:32:43 AM PST
HJ Leonard says:
I did, too.

Posted on Feb 27, 2012, 1:20:35 PM PST
I've shared this before, but in a regency, the heroine got into a handsome cab, (should be hansom, I think).

In reply to an earlier post on Feb 27, 2012, 2:11:13 PM PST
Shelby P says:
In Erotic Gay Quarterback these guys have organisms instead of orgasms.

Posted on Feb 27, 2012, 2:31:22 PM PST
tealadytoo says:
Ewwww. They should see a doctor. I think there are drugs to clear that up. ;=)

Posted on Feb 27, 2012, 2:36:08 PM PST
Last edited by the author on Feb 27, 2012, 2:36:26 PM PST
tealadytoo says:
This is a bit off topic, since it wasn't a book, but when I was in college, the music department decided to put on a Strauss operetta. The journalism department announced this in the campus newspaper. It was good to know that they were staging "Deflator Mouse".

In reply to an earlier post on Feb 27, 2012, 2:45:56 PM PST
That is hilarious and pathetic (as well as completely proving my point about smut authors often being illiterate). Seriously, an erotica author who doesn't know from orgasm? Makes you wonder what else they got wrong . . .

Posted on Feb 27, 2012, 5:03:17 PM PST
Maggie says:
Mistakes like these are so distracting. Maybe it's just me, but it pulls me right out of the story. A few times in different books, I've seen "per say" for "per se." And "wallah" (among other phonetic spellings) instead of "voila."

Posted on Feb 27, 2012, 5:08:28 PM PST
heidiandpona says:
I'm reading Miranda Lee's The Secret Love-Child (Harlequin Presents). Now Miranda Lee is one of HP's sexiest writers, and in this book the hero, unbeknownst to the heroine, is trying to make her pregnant by poking holes in their condoms. Now that her period is late, she concludes his sperm was just too manly:

"Isabel recalled seeing a documentary once where just a drop of sperm had millions of eggs in it. Millions of very active eggs with the ability to impregnate lots of women, if the timing was right."

(Shaking my head.) How are are all these HP heroines getting pregnant if the editors don't understand basic biology?
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