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OT: Oh noez! 7yr old pop a tart! at other children

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Showing 1-25 of 50 posts in this discussion
Initial post: Mar 5, 2013, 10:49:08 AM PST
Last edited by the author on Mar 5, 2013, 10:49:50 AM PST
Pop-Tart `gun' suspension: Seriously, folks?

A 7-year-old Anne Arundel County boy was suspended Friday for chewing his breakfast pastry into the shape of a gun and saying, "bang, bang"- an offense that the school described as a threat to other students, according to his family.

The pastry "gun" was a rectangular strawberry-filled bar, akin to a Pop-Tart, that the second-grader had tried to nibble into the shape of a mountain, but then found it looked more like a gun, said his father, William "B.J." Welch.
Welch said an assistant principal at Park Elementary School told him that his son pointed the pastry at a classmate. The boy maintains he pointed it at the ceiling, according to his father.

"In my eyes, it's irrelevant; I don't care who he pointed it at," Welch said. "It was harmless. It was a danish."
Seriously, world?

Look, Reality, this is too much. Leave this sort of grotesque parody to the Onion, where it belongs. It is stories like this that have reduced the Onion to tweeting unspeakable things about 9-year-olds. That is not what anyone wants to happen. But you have left them no choice, continually encroaching on their territory like this. Please, stay out of it. They might at least have made it funny. This is just depressing.

Sure, perhaps this case has stronger legs to stand on than the recent case with the finger-gun suspension. After all, as a commenter on the story points out, a Pop-Tart can be dangerous. Why, you might eat it.

When I initially heard about the threatening Pop-Tart, it made sense. I knew that the Let's Move/Let's Eradicate Obesity/Let's Protect the Children From the Processed Sugars by Circling the Kale Wagons campaign was entering a new phase, but I didn't realize that they were suspending kids for waving Pop-Tarts menacingly in your general direction. What, I wondered, were they going to do to the guy who brings cupcakes for his birthday? No doubt he'd be expelled!

It turned out that the Pop-Tart was menacing only for its shape, not for its contents. But give it time. At the rate things are turning absurd, that's hardly a stretch.


I don't know if to laugh, cry or just go insane and pop tart everybody on the vgf

Posted on Mar 5, 2013, 10:50:32 AM PST
MrFoxhound says:
First pop-tart guns, then 3D printers.


Posted on Mar 5, 2013, 10:50:54 AM PST

Posted on Mar 5, 2013, 10:54:27 AM PST
Soulshine says:
If you outlaw poptarts, you just turn the 7-year-olds into outlaws.

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 5, 2013, 10:56:08 AM PST
I can imagine kids popping tarts behind the bleachers

Posted on Mar 5, 2013, 10:56:14 AM PST
Kr155 says:
They need to ban the letter L. If you turn it sideways it looks like a gun

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 5, 2013, 10:57:32 AM PST
J. Pardee says:
Don't forget about the letter P! It looks even more like a gun since it has a trigger.

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 5, 2013, 10:57:40 AM PST
Soulshine says:

Yeah we went over THAT whole issue a while ago. Bang, bang!


Posted on Mar 5, 2013, 10:57:42 AM PST
MrFoxhound says:
No one is saying we should outlaw pop-tarts. We're just saying that we want more rules in place to make sure that minors don't have easy access to pop-tarts. Maybe we can introduce them to toaster strudel at a young age.

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 5, 2013, 10:59:10 AM PST
Last edited by the author on Mar 5, 2013, 11:00:43 AM PST
Rev Otter says:
<<and saying, "bang, bang">>
<<pointed the pastry at a classmate>>

huh, first time i've heard those specific elements in this story.

that actually makes a bit more sense than the "kid made random shape, teacher thought it looked like a gun" version that's been running around on the Politics forum.

<<It turned out that the Pop-Tart was menacing only for its shape, not for its contents.>>

but, as covered above, it wasn't "only for its shape", it was for the kid's actions WITH that shape.

still an overreaction, IMO, but at least now i see context. :)

Posted on Mar 5, 2013, 11:00:57 AM PST
LogJam says:
Did this kid get a pop-tart without a background check? AND without waiting the prerequisite 3 days?? If you need me, I'll be in my bunker.

Posted on Mar 5, 2013, 11:05:03 AM PST
Soulshine says:
Poptarts are just a tool. A tool to get sugar into young people. Sure, some adults use poptarts for their hobby. Doesn't mean the poptart is to blame when things go awry.

When handled responsibly, it's a highly effective sugar transportation tool. Chewing it into a gun shape is not the intended use! If he didn't have a poptart, he would have used a fruit roll-up or a PB&J sandwich! Well, not peanut butter though - kids are allergic now.

Posted on Mar 5, 2013, 11:10:41 AM PST
Ice King says:
When I was a kid, we used to shoot the gym teacher with our fingers and tell him we hid a bomb in his desk. He would laugh at us and make us do laps around the field.
Today we'd probably end up in jail.

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 5, 2013, 11:16:46 AM PST
Rev Otter says:
when i was a kid, a friend got 1 day in-house suspension for having a loaded pistol in his locker.

one day. in-house. and oh yeah, no police called.

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 5, 2013, 11:17:01 AM PST
user22 says:
"In my eyes, it's irrelevant; I don't care who he pointed it at," Welch said. "It was harmless. It was a danish."

No wonder this kid doesn't know not to play with pastry guns, his own father doesn't even know the difference between a danish and a strudel! This boy should not be suspended; he needs to stay in school and be educated so he doesn't become a reTart like his Pop!

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 5, 2013, 11:21:24 AM PST
Kr155 says:
or a mental institution. Check out this one. This poor kids throws an imaginary granade into a box, and gets suspended for it. These schools are getting rediculous, Stealing a childs education because they are playing. Thats pretty close to oppression.

"A Colorado boy got in trouble for playing "rescue the world" with an imaginary weapon.

Seven-year-old Alex Evans says he was only trying to save the world when he tossed an imaginary grenade at pretend bad guys during recess. The school apparently was not impressed.

The second-grader has been suspended from Mary Blair Elementary School in Loveland, Colo., for breaking a key school rule: no weapons, real or imaginary, KDVR-TV reported.

"Honestly I don't think the rule is very realistic for kids this age," Alex's mother, Mandie Watkins, told KDVR on Monday.

Watkins told the Reporter-Herald that the principal called her Friday afternoon to inform her that her son had been suspended for throwing the imaginary weapon.

She said her son will stay home from school until the situation can be resolved.

School officials declined to discuss the case with MSN News on Tuesday.

"The issue you are referring to is complicated. Per district policy, we are not able to go into any further detail or comment specifically on individual disciplinary matters," school district spokesman Mike Hausmann said.

Superintendent Stan Scheer told the Reporter-Herald there's more to the story than he was able to comment on.

"There's a whole student side that we just don't talk about," he told the newspaper. "It's a bit one-sided with the parent's point of view."

Alex reportedly got in trouble for playing a game he called "rescue the world" during recess. That included tossing an imaginary grenade into a box populated by pretend evil forces.

"I pretended the box, there's something shaking in it, and I go 'pshhh,'" the boy told KDVR.

He didn't throw anything real and didn't threaten anyone. But the school said he violated one of Mary Blair's "absolutes" - no weapons, real or play, according to his mother.

Watkins said her son doesn't understand what he did wrong. "I think that when a child is trying to save the world, I don't think he should be punished for it," she told KDVR."

Posted on Mar 5, 2013, 11:22:26 AM PST
FOGE says:
The kid didnt bring a loaded gun to school. He brought a Pop Tart, and Pop Tarts are loaded with something much worse. Diabeetus!

I'm Wilford Bremly and I'm here to talk to you about saving your kids from dangers of Pop Tarts...

Posted on Mar 5, 2013, 11:22:36 AM PST
I see a trend here ban 7 yr olds!!

In reply to an earlier post on Mar 5, 2013, 11:23:45 AM PST
Kr155 says:
Oh my god 7 looks like a gun!!!! everybody down!!!!!

Posted on Mar 5, 2013, 11:25:58 AM PST
Joel H. says:
Everyone knows poptarts are gateway pastries.

Posted on Mar 5, 2013, 11:28:11 AM PST
J. Pardee says:
Children's hands need to be banned because a fist looks like a grenade. Arms and legs should be banned as well because they are similar to a gun shape. Heads are banned because they are shaped like a cannonball. Only the torso's of children are allowed on school grounds.

Posted on Mar 5, 2013, 11:32:09 AM PST
waxc3 says:
im an elementary school art teacher. we tell all of our students "no weapons, no violence" when they are playing or creating art. (i also sometimes tell them "no potty things as well").

Posted on Mar 5, 2013, 11:34:58 AM PST
Brykume says:
Hi, Im Troy McClure.. you may remember me from such films as "Poptarts: the Loaded Pastry", and "Imaginary Heroics! Grounds for Grade-School Suspension"

Posted on Mar 5, 2013, 11:35:44 AM PST
aidenraine says:
poor repressed kids are all going to grow up to be violent psychopaths simply because they were denied the ability to play.

Posted on Mar 5, 2013, 11:49:07 AM PST
Last edited by the author on Mar 5, 2013, 11:50:09 AM PST
I wonder if the stories do have more to them that isn't released. Like the kid delibrately disobeyed the teachers a dozen times, running around screaming bang in people's faces.

Maybe they often abused and bullied other students but the teachers couldn't catch them on it. Just hit him with something you can prove to punish them and get them out of the school for a while.

All the parent hears is "oh, my poor kid used a poptart like a gun?" and fail to hear "and repeatedly disrupted the class, ignored the teacher, and shoved the poptart into a girls mouth while shouting suck it wench!!!" That part never seems to make it to the news.
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Discussion in:  Video Games forum
Participants:  25
Total posts:  50
Initial post:  Mar 5, 2013
Latest post:  Mar 5, 2013

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