gigi wolf

OK
About gigi wolf
There's nothing like having all your time free for getting into trouble. I considered doing that, but it's really a hassle. The fallout includes apologizing, placating, making redress; it's just too much. So, I write. I have not had to do any of those above mentioned things yet because of anything I've written. This leaves me free to write more stuff for which I could conceivably get into trouble. It's the Circle of Life.
My blog, ChezGigi.com, is 95% fact-free, and dedicated solely to humor. Some people are naturally funny, some have funny thrust upon them, and some must actually work at it, to paraphrase an American president. Now that I have placed myself in the company of presidents, I vow to be as funny as they are.
When I'm not writing (it's addictive, like manic drug shots to the brain) I'm a pool workout artist, a Straightener of Rugs, I take my dog Sugar to the park so she can run circles around me, and I'm a cheating, lying dieter.
Customers Also Bought Items By
Are you an author?
Author Updates
-
-
Blog postMy friend, David Williams, recently got home from hanging with his grandkids and trying not to strike out. I thought he’d have a blast, but being blasted would have been much more to the point.
He responded to what a visit to see his young grandkids was like:
One night, my granddaughter (11) had a piano recital, while my older grandson (9) had a baseball game, and the third (4) just had four year old things to do. Pop Pop tries not to pry too much into les affaires des enfants2 days ago Read more -
Blog post“Let’s ask the dogs” is about our recent adventures in real estate, which continue apace in the far northeastern sector of California, otherwise known as Modoc County.
Since moving here last November, we’ve managed to get some work done on the house and we tried to acquire another house in Gallup, NM. That’s almost as far from here as Florida, minus about a thousand miles. But we make up for that missing thousand miles by being north of there altogether. It’s no wonder we’re all confu3 weeks ago Read more -
Blog postProfessionalism is dead, I hear. I didn’t actually “hear” that, I have read it in comments and posts on the internet, that bastion of all that’s Good and True. It was also there on the internet where I read that saying “Thank you” is lame. If you want or expect a thank you for a gift or a favor, you’re as bad as Hitler.
That Hitler. He gets around. Everybody’s favorite funny guy.
“Heil, Honey, I’m Home!” The most recent comment on professionalism was on Twitter the other day.2 months ago Read more -
Blog postBehind the Mask sounds like it could be a Zorro or Batman movie, but in 7 Ways to Use Your Useless Masks, we will explore….well….ways to use your now useless facial pandemic accessories. What you do with your haz mat suit is entirely up to you. You can always save these things for the next pandemic. I hear the gas masks in Europe from WWII might come in handy, but let’s hope not.
Now cue the harp music and try to remember, not so very long ago, we talked mask, mask, mask, all day long2 months ago Read more -
Blog postTo Move and Move Again is so James Bond. I wish I had it as easy as he does. Every time he goes to work, there’s a darn good chance he won’t come home again. Therefore, he has never felt the need to shop in any of those exotic locales while on a work assignment. He has sex instead. Smart man.
Me, I shopped when I traveled. I brought home baskets from Africa, rugs from Turkey and India, jewelry from everywhere, stuff from Harrods. It was heaven. Until thirty or forty years later when y4 months ago Read more -
Blog postHouse husbands with pearl handled Swiffers is now trending. There is no lack of testosterone in this country after all. There is merely a lack of real pearls for the handles of their Swiffers. Once again, we will hear from my friend, David Williams, without whom this blog would have perished. I’ve been on the mend from moving, and pneumonia, and will post about that very soon. Until then, enjoy this little gem.
My wife says I have crossed a line. Flaws are forgivable (now she tells me4 months ago Read more -
Blog postFootball with a pink tutu is more sinister even than it sounds. It’s a story my friend and fellow writer, David Williams, told me the other day.
The following is Mr. William’s story, who, by the way, will be the sole writer for this blog if I don’t get back in gear soon. We have sold our house and are moving out of state and deep into the country life.
(I will write about it as soon as I can find something something funny about packing and moving.)
To wit, David Willia6 months ago Read more -
Blog post(Pandemic normal Includes Building a Fence was written by my friend, David Williams, a very funny married man–as you will see–and a purveyor of “manly pursuits”.)
The pandemic is fence construction time. Nothing against the neighbors per se, but the wife said, “I want a fence here.” Because that’s how she talks.
Yes, manly pursuits have taken a left turn somewhere during the year, because if I’m not sitting on my butt spending unemployment money to order pizza and7 months ago Read more -
Blog postOne of the newest maxims out there is: Touch Not the Parking Meter. Last week I became acquainted with this updated method of doing business with the city.
(Quick tip: Never do business with the city. They’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain. Same goes for government in general.)
I had an urgent Happy Hour meeting scheduled with friends and it required me to drive to the appointed place and then park my car on a street that charged for that privilege.
We carr8 months ago Read more -
Blog postTen things caused by Covid are being brought to my attention almost daily. For more than a year now I’ve heard the term “the new normal.” We get it. Things have changed and we are supposed to get used to them. There’s no need to make phrases like “the new normal” the new normal. Because then what happens when it changes back? Will it be the old normal or a new new normal? Answer me that.
I actually don’t have ten things caused by Covid (the typing monitor thinks I mean oviduct, which9 months ago Read more
Titles By gigi wolf
"....The text is so laden with humor that barely a word is written that doesn’t possess some sort of double meaning, pun or other comedic device....Gigi Wolf is a talented humorist who can turn even the most mundane activity into a story worth hearing. Please Remain Seated in Your Comfort Zone is the sort of book that will appeal to folks of any gender, background or age, although millennials might need somebody to explain some the jokes!" https://indiestoday.com/please-remain-seated-in-your-comfort-zone-by-gigi-wolf/
The fourth in a series of humorous memoirs, Gigi Wolf, a former Pan Am flight attendant, has managed to remember things that happened to her as far back as yesterday.
Fortunately, her life is loosely based on reality, which provides the linchpin for her books.She explores, among other things, with her typical wry humor and personality:
- How to age like fine wine even if you drank it first
- The real reason for bucket lists
- What happens when you kiss
- How to propose to just about anyone, including a math major
- And why you should fly to Cleveland to make small talk
From seat assignment to arrival home, this contribution of travel adventure books and humorous essays on life, love, and flight attendant stories will keep you belted in your comfort zone. There is nothing like airline travel to prove you're really outside your comfort zone. For humor adult style, this book deserves a spot tucked in with your favorite humor authors.
Caveat: There aren't any family demons to be found in this book except the one on the left wing of the aircraft, and he belongs to everyone.
"Not since Andy Rooney has one person so adroitly captured life's little absurdities.”
(This is a direct quote from her editor, who happens to work for Gigi and is a woman of great perspicacity. Trust us, the editor is not paid enough to say things like that, so it is all on her.)In her new book of humor and comedy that defines satire and family relationships, as well as being a valuable contribution to books about life in retirement, self care, and government in America, Gigi Wolf takes on just about every rant-worthy topic there is. If there is one she missed, she is sure to rant about missing it.
With more of that humor and personality, her topics include:- Taking and failing online IQ tests
- What happened in history when women took off their bras
- American pastimes like FOMO and YOLO
- Yoga pants for the military
- living a fuller life with a robot suitcase
- How to avoid being mistaken for a zombie and thus dispatched by the non-zombie population Gigi will lead you down proverbial homey paths like "Absence Makes the Heart Go Wander," "Good Things Come to Those Who Take Them," "To Err is Human, To Forgive is Too Much to Ask," and "Honesty is the Best Policy, and I'm Uninsured."
These are adages to live by in these Troubled Times. Enjoy the stroll!
Also included are: The Dark Sin, Milan is Full of Italians, Smoking Loopholes, and I is Another: A Difficult Matter, plus several others. We hope you enjoy the read!
Chock full of suggestions, with a link for almost all of them for convenience, adults, kids, and families will find an assortment of educational, absorbing, or productive things to do. There is a section with homeschooling tips, and a separate section with a list of over 100 ideas.
This list will keep everyone busy until the Covid-19 coronavirus armageddon blows over.
Cows share many characteristics with people. Once kids find out how we are all like cows, or not like them, they will never look at a cow in the same way.
This is a kids book to read to a young person you care about!
This childrens book is educational and fun. And full of cows.
Ironically, the people who are the main subjects of the book, which makes no mention of names at all, insist on outing themselves. They keep posting one star reviews and trashing the book and me. Amazon has removed the reviews once. They're proving my point admirably by refusing to leave me alone even on Amazon. https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07633D7ZM
Kindergarten introduced us to a Wonderful Set of Rules. The kindergarten rules and consequences were meant to grease our ride through this world and help us get along with everyone in it. They were a so-called comprehensive guide to life, to refer to should you forget how to cross a street or when to take a nap.
In this satirical memoir much like her favorite funny mentors--Dave Barry and Erma Bombeck--(although they don’t know it because they might want money), Gigi Wolf finds skewed answers and humorous solutions to the questions everyone asks. They ask them of random strangers who don’t know anything, either.
Take this question: If those kindergarten rules were so great, why does everyone still need a guide to life? Isn’t playing, eating, drinking, gambling, and dancing around in your underwear fulfilling enough? It certainly seems to be for many people who go to Las Vegas. Many of those people forget to flush, though.
She’ll take you down roads in this funny memoir you never knew existed, with dating humor like: Which superhero you should marry, just why Hugh Hefner and the Bronies have so much in common, why being an orphan is the secret sauce to a successful life, and how to write complete fiction masquerading as a factual memoir.
In these warm and witty, humorous, satirical, and extremely funny (her own modest words) life and love essays, and her experiences in parenting, marriage, being part of a slightly dysfunctional American family, living with dogs and their betrayals, being a woman, or becoming a man for a day, dating, dieting, all-out furniture wars in the mid-east part of the house, and finally, growing older and being retired after starting out starry-eyed and hopeful that first hour in her first day of school, Gigi shows us with some dark adult humor how little the kindergarten rules helped. Especially after you got to first grade.
Remember Rule 16: LOOK.
Click the LOOK INSIDE up there on top of the book and get a fun peek at the joys that await you in this delightful book!