Top critical review
Perfect, If You Want To Get Fired
November 5, 2017
I was sitting on the couch and my doorbell rang. I leapt off the sofa and ran to the door screaming, “My banana slicer!” I opened the package and immediately snatched a banana to slice. Without instructions included I did not realize I had to peel the banana first. It was a gooey mess and I had to grab another. This time I peeled it, but my banana was too small. It didn’t fill the whole slicer.
I went to Walmart Customer Service, “Do you have any giant bananas?” I questioned. The attendant turned away. I think he was laughing. He called for another attendant, they went to the back, and brought out the biggest bananas I’ve ever seen.
I went home with the bananas. I peeled the bananas and used the banana slicer. It was so satisfying to cut the bananas. I did it all day and forgot to go to work.
I got a call from my boss. “You’re fired!” he screamed into the phone.
I cried. I am no longer Jake from State Farm. I am now just Jake.