Skip to main content
Customer Review
Reviewed in the United States on February 16, 2015
Sweatpants are an abomination in the eyes of the Lord. We, as a society, seem to have lost our way, and it is common to see wayward souls wearing sweatpants in contexts outside of fitness activity: when traveling by air, when shopping for groceries, dining out, attending class etc. The Almighty condemns the wearing of sweatpants, except for one reason, and one reason only: engaging in physical exercise. If one must wear sweatpants, it should be done only when exercising. Anything else is an abomination, and those who commit this abomination are condemned to spending eternity set upon by demons wielding Pat Boone's version of "Tutti Frutti" (which is an abomination in the ears of the Lord). Our Creator has blessed us with an abundance of other types of garments, in which we appear vastly more attractive than we do in these damnable trousers. (Note that it takes exactly as much time to pull on a decent pair of dungarees (or Lo, even leggings) as it does to hoist up these wretched, infernal, shameful breeches.)
Fortunately for us sinners, Hanes has done the right thing with these sweatpants, and omitted pockets in which one might be tempted to store currency, keys, or other items that might enable a lost soul to wear these utterly abominable garments in public. Curiously, though, these are sold in a 2 pack: will the extra pair tempt the user into wearing sweatpants in inappropriate circumstances, thereby aiding and abetting the continued moral decline of the United States of America? Or will the extra pair enable the wearer to better himself or herself by exercising more often? The choice is yours, dear consumer, and the moral future of our country weighs on your decision.
Fortunately for us sinners, Hanes has done the right thing with these sweatpants, and omitted pockets in which one might be tempted to store currency, keys, or other items that might enable a lost soul to wear these utterly abominable garments in public. Curiously, though, these are sold in a 2 pack: will the extra pair tempt the user into wearing sweatpants in inappropriate circumstances, thereby aiding and abetting the continued moral decline of the United States of America? Or will the extra pair enable the wearer to better himself or herself by exercising more often? The choice is yours, dear consumer, and the moral future of our country weighs on your decision.
