More Funny Reviews

Helpful product reviews written by Amazon customers are the heart of, and we treasure the customers who work hard to write them. But occasionally customer creativity goes off the charts in the best possible way. Enjoy this second collection of some of the funniest, top-voted reviews written by your fellow customers. (Click on the products to see which review of each was voted "most helpful" by other customers.)

We’d like to thank all the customers who told us about their favorite funny review discoveries. Many of them are included here. Nominate your own finds at top right of this page. See the original Top Ten list here.

Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife Giant
"I had it in my hip pocket, then I fell down. When I got up, I was dead. Other than that, it's ok."
"I've always wanted to own a pocket knife that was too large to fit in my pocket and here it is!”
"Found this stuck into a stone while on vacation. I'm impressed with it, generally. Unfortunately, it turns out that removing it made me the new king of Switzerland, which is a lot of responsibility.”
Museum Replicas
"I was tired of getting hit on by beautiful women every time I went out in public, and then I bought this jacket. Problem solved."
"Whenever I display my encyclopedic knowledge of Star Wars to my friends, they respond with ‘Want a medal?’ Well you know what? Since I bought this item, I already have one."
"I used to be an unemployed movie theater usher, but that all changed when I bought this jacket. Now I'm an unemployed movie theater usher with one of these jackets."
Zenith Men's Watch story
"No one recognizes this freaking watch! … I had to hire a guy to interrupt me at the country club with ‘Excuse me, is that the Zenith Men's Defy Xtreme Tourbillon Titanium Chronograph Watch that's worth $145,000 and truly sets you apart as a god among men?'"
"I decided that I would learn how to tell time myself. Previously my staff just told me what time it was whenever I asked, but there was just something about this watch that motivated me to discover more..."
"I bought a couple of these and smashed them in front of poor people. You know, as a joke. Then I drove away."
UFO-02 Detector by Images SI Inc.
UFO-02 Detector
"I don't know if this is a scam or if mine was broken, but it doesn't work and I am still getting abducted by UFO's on a regular basis."
"I, as a resonable and trUstworthy hUman, do not gleep nerp this ungood prodUct. Bad it is for Us hUmans to purchase and opperate this online pUrchasable prodUct."
"We again found no signs of aliens in the morning. My uncle and I noticed that some of his cattle had fallen over and accidentally disemboweled themselves, which my uncle was upset about. But we could see no signs of aliens."
Icon Group International
"Just when you think the author has exhausted his dear readers, after what seems an unimaginably methodical survey of mainland China's wood toilet seat projections, he reminds us, ever so artfully, about GREATER China."
"This is so weird. My husband and I were just discussing the 2009-2014 outlook for wood toilet seats in greater China the other day."
"I was thinking, ‘Sweet! Finally a version of Outlook that will run on my wooden Chinese toilet seats!!’ Little did I know this has **NOTHING** to do with Outlook for Windows or any other MicroSoft product."
JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank
"Well, first let me say that I have been using the word Badonkadonk wrong my entire adult life."
"Now that my wife has kicked me out of the house and I'm living in my tank, I have really noticed the need for more ventilation. I haven't showered in six months and it is pretty ripe smelling in there."
"I have nothing; I am ruined. If you're going to sell droids, don't cut corners, get something with guns."
Wolf Urine Lure-32 oz by Deerbusters.
Wolf Urine Lure-32 oz
"Deerbusters is 100% wolf urine. No chemicals. No additives. No cheap dog or hobo urine being passed off as the real thing."
"Today is Valentine's Day and I hoped that a little splash of this would drive my lady wild. But alas... I sleep alone again."
"The palate has panache, with a firm, mineral acidity that cuts through a rather elegantly styled, poised meaty presence. As with most Chateau Deerbuster products, this has the signature leafy-fresh character, which softens into a slight rancid feel towards the end."
The Daddle by Cashel
The Daddle
"Please note that this Daddle is Western Style and will not be appropriate for those trained in the English Father Riding Method."
"Should not be sold without severe warning. After a long day of being ridden by my children, I was grazing on some nearby greens when my daughter dropped a dish on the ground. It broke and the noise of it spooked me, causing me to rear back and kick my son in the head..."
"I'm afraid that I have still not had success... No amount of duct tape would keep the cat attached to the saddle while it was on my husband's back."
A Million Random Digits
"Such a terrific reference work! But with so many terrific random digits, it's a shame they didn't sort them, to make it easier to find the one you're looking for."
"The execution is somewhat sloppy. The bulk of each page seems random enough. However at the lower left and lower right of alternate pages, the number is found to increment directly."
"This has got to be the most useless set of sudoku puzzles ever."
White Face Paint
"My mime class went ape-crazy over this stuff. Comments ranged from ‘_________!’ to ‘__________!!!’"
"No matter how much I applied, or no matter where I applied it, I just wasn't as happy as the gentleman on the box."
"You should definitely buy this product, just make sure to apply near soft furniture, and not near any household pets. I subtracted one star in memory of Mr. Snuffles."
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