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on November 11, 2017
With over 700 reviews, why add one more? Because I think it is important to know that although the book is good, it has many, many anecdotes for mothers. If you aren't a mother, you may not identify much with the stories of shame. It took more over a week to read, and during that time, I kept finding myself in situations where I thought, "here I go again, shaming myself for not being perfect!" I thought that her book was poignant for me. However, I could have read and absorbed the book in 3 days if the references to motherhood had been deleted. I recommend Lucinda Bassett if you would like to learn more about shame and self-defeating thoughts. Ms. Bassett does write some anecdotes about her children and motherhood, but her message has wider appeal for women.
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VINE VOICEon November 17, 2017
I've been intrigued with Brené Brown's work since I listened to her Ted Talk on Vulnerability. I finally got around to starting to read her books. I expected I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn't): Making the Journey from "What Will People Think?" to "I Am Enough" to be a reiteration of all the things I've heard her say in her talks and classes and in her interviews. It was that but it was also more. In fact, it was more than I expected or perhaps was ready for. I sat down intending to simply read the book and ended up deciding to take her advice and work through the exercises. I didn't always like the answers that arose for me, but it was worth the time it took. I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn't) pushed me to examine my thoughts and my attitudes toward shame and blame and vulnerability and strength. I started the book thinking that I'd already done this work, so this would just be me learning more about the topic. Brown breaks down shame and connection in ways that make her points highly relatable and highly relevant. As a writer, I found Brown's research also provides insight into writing characters who are mired in shame and those who aren't. I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn't) is a book based on research but written for every human, but particularly women and girls, who have ever been shamed into silence or into roles they didn't want to live.
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on July 28, 2017
I wasn't ready to commit to opening up to a therapist, yet I really needed help. This changed my whole life, 5 years ago now. I had so much buried shame and it was choking me. So so so incredibly thankful for her research and the outlet it gave me. I can breath again, and I continue to make progress. I also learned how to set boundaries and be extremely comfortable with them. I didn't realize how much it cost me to never have had them- around my person, my family, my schedule, my heart. I think about B.I.G nearly every day of my life (boundaries Integrity Generosity)
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on January 20, 2016
This was the most influential of all her books, for me. I loved it. I think Brown's book's are best read in the order of Daring Greatly, I Thought It Was Just Me, and Rising Strong. Then, if you need the daily motivation and basic summary, The Gifts of Imperfection.
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on July 20, 2017
I adore and respect Dr. Brown's research. However, I can't help but believe that she somehow is on a roll of redundancy. It reminds me other writers who over publish...Malcolm Gladwell, Wayne Dwyer, Deepak Chopra. If you've read one of their books you've read the most of their work.
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on February 3, 2018
I listened and read in the wrong order, sort of. You may remember that I wrote about my obsession with Brown's chatty Men, Women and Worthiness: The Experience of Shame and the Power of Being Enough in January. What I wanted more than anything after that was a deeper dive. Turns out, she wrote one back in 2007, and here it is!

The big difference is that this research and book is centered completely on women, however, we know from her more recent research that despite men and women having different shame causes, or despite them looking different on the outside, all shame is the same, so this book really does have good information for anyone willing to identify with the basics.

Brown spent six years talking to women, back when men wouldn't admit that addiction, workaholism, rage, isolation, etc are all somewhat shame-based. They told us men didn't have the same issues with shame as women. We now know better (frankly women knew this all along,) but Brown wanted a valid study, so she talked to women. Once any gender overcomes the fear of admitting to shame, all of the information here is just as valid for men as it is for women as it is for someone who doesn't fall into the binary gender categories. The only difference is the examples.

Shame shows up everywhere from biggies like addiction and self-injury to perfectionism, anger, and blame. It affects everything from our physical health, self-image to our relationships and ability to feel a part of the community. Those relationships I mention include ones with people as well as money, work, friendships and everything else we relate to.

The best parts of this book promise to be the basic information that comforts the reader by giving us the data and a push to brave the fear of shame and let some sunshine in. Sunlight is the antidote to shame. We have to put aside the false bravado to become our truest selves and then, in a perverse twist, can we ultimately fit in.

Sadly, this book only illuminates the myriad ways our culture shames women with example after example. Honestly, there are too many examples. I could have done with half the examples. It begins to feel like filler after a while. I was also stunned to hear exactly the same words in the first few chapters and occasionally later in the book that I heard on Men, Women and Shame. It seems to me that even if she wanted to use the same examples, finding different wording would make the whole thing seem less redundant. The sad part is *this* is the better book, but it's completely gender-biased.

I truly hope that someone is working very hard on giving us examples and tips for men, especially because even mental health professionals refused to admit that shame could touch men until recently. That alone is just another shaming experience for men, and since we're all in the world together, it would be great if everyone was on the same page.

I truly think Brown has hit on a foundational experience for human beings with this groundbreaking shame research and the way she has permeated pop culture with this information. I'm not a massive fan of pop-psychology, but she does it well and keeps it based in the research. And when it comes down to it, her work in shame is the basis for all of the rest of her work in vulnerability, acceptance, and all the other things she's suddenly known for.
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on June 30, 2014
Everyone should read this book. Understanding shame and how it effects everyone at so many levels has been eye opening. Learning how to be resilient to shame and learning how to speak about shame has been very impactful. I have also come to understand how to be more empathetic towards others and what it really means empathize, really listening and feeling the many emotions shame brings.
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on September 18, 2017
I can't believe that i didn't know about this book before! I am an avid, rabid fan. Brown's writing and speaking runs straight into my heart. She describes and explains reactions and internal dialog . . . well, that I thought was just me! This book seems to be the core of her work and feels closer to the source than any of the others, which I also love and own. Yup. I own them all, sometimes more than one copy and more than one format. This one is my total favorite! So far. Just got the latest and I'll let you know but this. THIS!!!
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on February 14, 2014
Initially heard Brene Brown on NPR and then watched her TED talk and was admired by her approach and shame research. It was unlike anything I had ever heard and her research was really interesting. I forced serval people to watch her talk! I really enjoyed her book and look forward to reading more of them. It was a quick read, I read while I was on our honeymoon cruise in a a day or two. The book is relatable as she describes her own struggles and some experiences with the people she has meet through her research. It really allows you to reflect about how view yourself in comparison to the world. She provides a really interesting perspective. If you aren't sure if this is something for you, watch her TED talk to give you an idea about her research and interests. It's worth it!
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on April 19, 2018
Her research has definitely helped me to begin to process my own shame and let it go. I read parts of the book to my viewers to help them get a better grip on their lives and make changes. I do not read the book word for word, just give some nuggets. Even though it's primarily geared to women, a lot of it can be directed towards men too.
If it helps no one but me, I appreciate it. Thanks Jamal H. Bryant for recommending the book to the congregation and the cyber community that watches you! I bought a few of her pieces to read.
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