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A Blessing and a Betrayal
on August 11, 2016
I have mixed feelings about this book. On the one hand it was a real blessing for me. I went through (and somewhat I am still going through) one of the darkest periods of my life. During some of the most darkest times, I have cried out to God in tears: “Oh God, I need You. I need to hear from you. Something. Something to know you are there. A whisper, or just a touch. Just to know that you are there.” Many times I cried out and prayed this. And I got NOTHING. Not a touch, not a word. Nothing. And I got mad at God, to the point of asking: “If God is not there for you when you really need Him, what good is He?” How’s that for a blasphemous question? Honestly, my faith was shaken, I’m sorry to admit.
And that is why this book has been such a blessing. It has given me understanding and answers to some of my questioning. It has helped me to grow in my faith in God again. A God that is loving. A God that is there for me, even when He seems to be ignoring me, and turning His back on me. If you are in a place that is making you feel this way, then I recommend this book for you. It has been a blessing to me, and I pray that it will bless you too.
Now on the other hand, this book was a betrayal. Mother Theresa on many occasions made it explicitly clear that she did not want these letters to be published. She wanted them destroyed upon her death. They were entrusted to her spiritual leaders/advisors, and they betrayed this trust. They published her letters, which are in this book. I know from reading this book that because of her humility, and because of her submission to those in authority over her, that she probably would not see it this way. But because I am not where Mother Teresa is spiritually, that is how I see it. Which is what makes me conflicted about this book. While I am glad it was published after all, I can’t but help feel that her trust was betrayed. Maybe if, and when I get to where Mother Teresa was spiritually, I’ll feel differently. I hope this helps you.