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War. War never changes.
on July 10, 2016
In the great war between man vs. cat, there is and almost always must be an escalation of arms. The cats, our clever foes, consistently think of new ways to utilize their fantastic natural endowments to irritate humanity to ever-reaching heights. Man must strike back. We lack the stealth, patience, razor sharp claws, night vision and supreme agility to overcome the cats in a standoff of direct physical confrontation... but unbeknownst to the cats, we DO outwit them in our cunning.
By extracting the compressed, liquefied remains of our ancestors and refining them, we produce a cheap-yet-durable material that we have dubbed "plastic." It can be made both rigid and soft, and it's appearance and form are eminently and easily configurable. It is also impenetrable by domestic cat claws. Little is more infuriating than returning home from work and finding a gruesome scene - crumbs and kibble strewn about the kitchen, gushing from a certainly-doomed cat food bag whimpering in the corner.
Now you'll have to get a broom, sweep it all up, put it in the trash bag, and depending on what floor and how much cat food was lost, maybe even spring for some more cat food. Those jerks! Someone had a dream, though. They said, "That’s right, you know why, because we don’t have time for a city hall debate. I don’t want to hear the “man was not meant to meddle” medley. I see a suit of armor around the cat food." They got their top men on it, and before too long their work was complete. Escalation. A glimmer of hope in the unending war. A stop to the cat-food-shed of hundreds of thousands of cat food bags. Their grand design?
The 10-pound IRIS Airtight Pet Food container. Easy to open, easy to close, with a nice little foam seal around the edge. Best of all? Transparent. It TAUNTS your cats to fruitlessly attack it's three millimeter thick armor. Their claws are useless against it. TERRITORIES ARE HELD, and cat food (and money) is saved making YOUR LIFE BETTER.
So buy this. It's boxy, too, which looks nice.