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Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It Hardcover – May 17, 2016
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This international bestseller, with more than 3 million copies sold, offers a field-tested approach to high-stakes negotiations—whether in the boardroom, in your community, or at home.
Life is a series of negotiations, and negotiation is at the heart of collaboration—whether you are a business executive, a salesperson, a parent , a community leader, or a spouse. As a former FBI hostage negotiator, Chris Voss gives you the tools to be effective in any situation: negotiating a business deal, buying (or selling) a car, negotiating a salary, acquiring a home, renegotiating rent, deliberating with your partner, or communicating with your children. Taking the power of persuasion, empathy, active listening, and intuition to the next level, Never Split the Difference gives you the competitive edge in any difficult conversation or challenging situation. This book is a masterclass in influencing others, no matter the circumstances.
After a stint policing the rough streets of Kansas City, Chris Voss joined the FBI, where his career as a hostage negotiator brought him face-to-face with a range of criminals, including bank robbers and terrorists. Reaching the pinnacle of his profession, he became the FBI’s lead international kidnapping negotiator. Never Split the Difference distills the Voss method, revealing the skills that matter most when it comes to achieving your goals in both your professional and personal life.
Step-by-step, Voss show you how to:
- Establish Rapport
- Create Trust with Tactical Empathy
- Gain the Permission to Persuade
- Shape What Is Fair
- Calibrate Questions
- Transform Conflict into Collaboration
- Spot Liars
- Create Breakthroughs by Revealing the Unknown Unknowns
Never Split the Difference is your definitive source for defusing potential crises, winning people over, and achieving your goals at work and at home.
- Print length288 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherHarper Business
- Publication dateMay 17, 2016
- Dimensions1.3 x 6.3 x 9.1 inches
- ISBN-100062407805
- ISBN-13978-0062407801
Book recommendations, author interviews, editors' picks, and more. Read it now.
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From the Publisher
Editorial Reviews
Review
Former FBI Hostage Negotiator Chris Voss has few equals when it comes to high stakes negotiations. Whether for your business or your personal life, his techniques work.” — Joe Navarro, FBI Special Agent (Ret.) and author of the international bestseller, What Every Body is Saying
Chatty and friendly and packed with helpful resources, this is an intriguing approach to business and personal negotiations. — Publishers Weekly
"Such a great book that is relevant to more than just FBI negotiations: it's relevant to my relationship with my partner, to my business, to everything in between." — Steven Bartlett, entrepreneur and host of the Diary of a CEO podcast
"It's rare that a book is so gripping and entertaining while still being actionable and applicable." — Inc.
"A business book you won't be able to put down." — Fortune
From the Back Cover
A field-tested, game-changing approach to high-stakes negotiations—whether in the boardroom or at home.
Never Split the Difference is a riveting, indispensable handbook of negotiation principles culled and perfected from Chris Voss’s remarkable career as a hostage negotiator and later as an award-winning teacher in the world’s most prestigious business schools. From policing the rough streets of Kansas City, Missouri, to becoming the FBI’s lead international kidnapping negotiator to teaching negotiation at leading universities, Voss has tested these techniques across the full spectrum of human endeavor and proved their effectiveness. Those who have benefited from these techniques include business clients generating millions in additional profits, MBA students getting better jobs, and even parents dealing with their kids.
Never Split the Difference provides a gripping, behind-the-scenes recounting of dramatic scenarios from the gang-infested streets of Haiti to a Brooklyn bank robbery gone horribly wrong, revealing the negotiation strategies that helped Voss and his colleagues succeed where it mattered most: saving lives. As a world-class negotiator, Voss shows you how to use these skills in the workplace and in every other realm of your life.
Life is a series of negotiations: whether buying a car, getting a better raise, buying a home, renegotiating rent, or deliberating with your partner, Never Split the Difference gives you the competitive edge in any discussion.
Advance praise for Never Split The Difference
“This book blew my mind. It’s a riveting read, full of instantly actionable advice—not just for high-stakes negotiations, but also for handling everyday conflicts at work and at home.”—Adam Grant, Wharton Professor and New York Times bestselling author of originals and give and take
“Emphasizes the importance of emotional intelligence without sacrificing deal-making power. From the pen of a former hostage negotiator—someone who couldn’t take no for an answer—which makes it fascinating reading. But it’s also eminently practical. In these pages, you will find the techniques for getting the deal you want.”—Daniel H. Pink, bestselling author of To Sell Is Human and Drive
“Former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss has few equals when it comes to high-stakes negotiations. Whether for your business or your personal life, his techniques work.”—Joe Navarro, FBI Special Agent (Ret.) and author of the international bestseller What Every Body Is Saying
“Your business—basically your entire life—comes down to your performance in crucial conversations, and these tools will give you the edge you need. . . .It’s required reading for my employees because I use the lessons in this book every single day, and I want them to, too.”—Jason McCarthy, CEO of GORUCK
About the Author
Chris Voss is one of the preeminent practitioners and professors of negotiation skills in the world. He is the founder and principal of The Black Swan Group, a consulting firm that provides training and advises Fortune 500 companies through complex negotiations. He currently teaches at the University of Southern California’s Marshall School of Business and Georgetown University’s McDonough School of Business, and has lectured at other leading universities, including Harvard Law School, the MIT Sloan School of Management, and Northwestern University’s Kellogg School of Management.
Tahl Raz uncovers big ideas and great stories that ignite change and growth in people and organizations. He is an award-winning journalist and co-author of the New York Times bestseller Never Eat Alone. When not researching or writing, he coaches executives, lectures widely on the forces transforming the new world of work, and serves as an editorial consultant for several national firms. He invites readers to e-mail him at tr@tahlraz.com and to visit his website at www.tahlraz.com.
Product details
- Publisher : Harper Business; 1st edition (May 17, 2016)
- Language : English
- Hardcover : 288 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0062407805
- ISBN-13 : 978-0062407801
- Item Weight : 2.31 pounds
- Dimensions : 1.3 x 6.3 x 9.1 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #378 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #2 in Business Negotiating (Books)
- #6 in Communication Skills
- #21 in Success Self-Help
- Customer Reviews:
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About the authors

Tahl Raz is a storyteller of big ideas in business, technology and the social sciences that are transforming the way we work and live. An award-winning journalist and best-selling author, he has edited and published in everything from Inc. Magazine and GQ to Harvard Business Review and the Jerusalem Post. Management guru Tom Peters called his first co-authored book, “Never Eat Alone,” one of “the most extraordinary and valuable business books” of recent history. The book is still in hardcover over a decade later and is now used as a textbook in MBA programs around the world. He has held roles as a Chief Content Officer, CEO of an online education company called MyGreenLight, and founder and editor-in-chief of Jewcy Media. He lives in New York City with his wife, daughter, and a very fat Pug named Bibi.

A 24 year veteran of the FBI, Chris Voss is one of the preeminent practitioners and professors of negotiating skills in the world. He is the founder and principal of The Black Swan Group, a consulting firm that provides training and advises Fortune 500 companies through complex negotiations. Voss has taught for many business schools, including the University of Southern California’s Marshall School of Business, Georgetown University’s McDonough School of Business, Harvard University, MIT’s Sloan School of Management, and Northwestern University’s Kellogg School of Management, among others.
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Customers find the book amazing and interesting. They say it's highly educational, provides practical advice, and is refreshing to read a book on skills. Readers describe the book as readable and effective. They appreciate the useful negotiation techniques and anecdotes. Additionally, they mention the book is full of engaging stories and life nuggets.
AI-generated from the text of customer reviews
Customers find the book amazing, interesting, and well worth the time. They say it's a must-read for anyone involved in business. Readers also mention the book is well-formulated to be actionable to business and everyday life.
"...Overall this is a wonderful book that teaches the reader that negotiation, at its core, is nothing more than conversations with reactions and..." Read more
"...It's a must-read for anyone, particularly those involved in business development, people management, freelancing, or parenting—essentially, anyone..." Read more
"...This is a remarkably engaging book, that reads like a novel, complete with reports of Voss’s gripping experiences chosen to highlight what he teaches..." Read more
"This is one of the best books I’ve read. I highly recommend it to anyone who might be interested or is skeptical about purchasing it." Read more
Customers find the book highly educational and engaging. They say it provides practical advice applicable to various areas of life. Readers mention the book is filled with treasures of useful insights and techniques to negotiate. They also appreciate that it gives just the right amount of information and is refreshing to read a book on skills that when applied brings results.
"...to the loss of lives, Was published in May of 2016 and is an extremely powerful book that tells the stories of negotiation when you really can’t..." Read more
"...The book provides practical advice applicable to various areas of life, whether you're a parent, partner, manager, or entrepreneur...." Read more
"...I’ve been struck again and again by how valuable these seemingly simple approaches can be...." Read more
"...are both simple enough to follow and understand, but also tied to real world examples he talks about...." Read more
Customers find the book very readable and effective. They say it's skilfully written by an expert in his field. Readers also appreciate the practical instructions on how to negotiate. Additionally, they mention the book includes engaging theories on communication and actionable recommendations on how to improve communication skills.
"...Each chapter includes engaging theories on communication and actionable recommendations on how to improve your communication skills, while telling..." Read more
"...The structure of the book is good, with each chapter concluding with a summary that highlights the key points...." Read more
"Structured, well written, easy to understand, great examples. Especially great are the summaries after each chapter." Read more
"...This is a remarkably engaging book, that reads like a novel, complete with reports of Voss’s gripping experiences chosen to highlight what he teaches..." Read more
Customers find the book full of very useful negotiation techniques. They say it teaches a radical new way to approach negotiation. Readers also mention the author provides great examples of previous negotiations. Overall, they describe the book as a good primer and fast reading on negotiating techniques.
"...Chris Voss hit the mark with this book, sharing effective tips and tools for negotiating in and beyond your workspace. “..." Read more
"...Chris Voss is a master in the art of negotiation, and his steps are both simple enough to follow and understand, but also tied to real world..." Read more
"...But it does give different perspective and another point of view on negotiations." Read more
"...There are also some time tested techniques for difficult negotiations. All are backed up with real world examples and additional context...." Read more
Customers find the stories engaging, interesting, and relatable. They describe the book as a fun read full of useful information. Readers also mention it sounds like a fiction adventure novel.
"...This book is a fun read full of useful information...." Read more
"One of the best combinations of education and entertainment I have had the privilege to experience. Required re - reading." Read more
"...They are not gimmicks and feel nice techniques, they are personal and financial game changers." Read more
"...This is an wonderful book, filled with anecdotes from some of the most intense situations a person can be in, that of a hostage situation, and I..." Read more
Customers find the content fascinating, useful, and packed with life nuggets. They appreciate the great explanations and specific examples. Readers also mention the book is broken down into several great topics with a summary at the end of each chapter. They say it's detailed, relatable, and packed with the best ideas and strategies.
"Structured, well written, easy to understand, great examples. Especially great are the summaries after each chapter." Read more
"...This book is perfect for educators, instructors, and presenters." Read more
"...This book gives exact details into techniques, real word examples, and psychological explanations...." Read more
"...Plus, the examples are really cool." Read more
Customers find the book builds on empathy and active listening skills. They say it serves as a good lesson in human behavior and psychology. Readers also mention it's an important book for everyone and helps them sift through conflicts and tensions.
"...Because of the strong lessons in this book, I believe it would be a great book for most young people to read...." Read more
"...calls the “late-night, FM DJ voice”: it is non-threating, soft, and calming...." Read more
"...It builds on empathy and active listening skills, layers on ways to label emotions and ask open-ended calibrated questions...." Read more
"...you’re a parent, employee, employer or friend this book will teach you to be humble, listen actively and help everyone get what they want without..." Read more
Customers find the concepts and tactics in the book actionable. They say it provides tactics to uncover the essence of resistance, counterpart motivation, and hurdles to communication. Readers also describe the book as liberating and weapons-grade persuasion.
"...Each chapter includes engaging theories on communication and actionable recommendations on how to improve your communication skills, while telling..." Read more
"...a negotiation, one Voss calls the “late-night, FM DJ voice”: it is non-threating, soft, and calming...." Read more
"...gives a blueprint for all kinds of human interaction, in a very actionable manner." Read more
"...how the book breaks down negotiation tactics into digestible, actionable insights...." Read more
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This is THE book to read for negotiation
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Prior to 2008, Chris Voss was the lead international kidnapping negotiator for the FBI. According to The Black Swan Group, through his 28 year with the Bureau, he was trained in negotiation by the FBI, Scotland Yard and Harvard Law School. Chris has taught business negotiation in the MBA program in several of the world’s best universities and business programs. Voss continues to host seminars and attend guest lectures and is rumored to be working on additional books.
“Never Split the Difference”, a euphemism for “never compromise” because compromise on the street often leads to the loss of lives, Was published in May of 2016 and is an extremely powerful book that tells the stories of negotiation when you really can’t afford to lose, like in a situation where you are negotiating for the lives of others. Each chapter includes engaging theories on communication and actionable recommendations on how to improve your communication skills, while telling intriguing stories of the life of an FBI agent. These stories include bank robberies, terrorists and a bunch of different “bad guys”. This book will not only help your business deals, but your personal relationships as well. Voss gives us more than just the advice on what to do, he shows us why they work as well.
This book is a fun read full of useful information. The new concepts in every chapter had me highlighting the techniques and lessons that I truly wanted to remember. The most important to me, being that you should never be so eager to solve a conflict that’s result is inconvenient for you. Accepting bad deals is almost always a mistake. Compromise isn’t always the answer, while pushing for a hard “yes” doesn’t get you any closer to a victory, it only angers the other party. And finally, “Driving towards “that's right” is a winning strategy in all negotiations. But hearing “you're right” is a disaster.” (p. 105)
Overall this is a wonderful book that teaches the reader that negotiation, at its core, is nothing more than conversations with reactions and results. Getting what you need from others will help set up the rest of your life. Chriss Voss will teach you how to take authority and show dominance in the conversations that will make or break your career. Because of the strong lessons in this book, I believe it would be a great book for most young people to read. Whether they are beginning their college career or creating their own blue-collar business, “Never Split the Difference” by Chris Voss is a great resource for people looking to better their life without looking for a designated “self-help” book. Remember: “... without self-control and emotional regulation…” (p 156) these strategies will not work.
The book provides practical advice applicable to various areas of life, whether you're a parent, partner, manager, or entrepreneur. It's a must-read for anyone, particularly those involved in business development, people management, freelancing, or parenting—essentially, anyone looking to enhance their negotiation skills.
After reading the book, my favorite ChatGPT prompt has become:
"I want…. given [plenty of background].
Advise me in line with the book: Never Split the Difference."
Even with a hectic schedule over the past month, I found myself looking forward to my nightly reading sessions, regardless of how tired I was. This speaks volumes about the book's captivating and insightful content. The structure of the book is good, with each chapter concluding with a summary that highlights the key points.
Some of my favorite quotes from the book include:
- “Prepare, prepare, prepare. When the pressure is on, you don’t rise to the occasion; you fall to your highest level of preparation.”
- “Never be so sure of what you want that you wouldn’t take something better.”
In summary, "Never Split the Difference" is an insightful and invaluable resource that I highly recommend to everyone.
Especially great are the summaries after each chapter.
That said, who better to guide you in the best techniques for negotiation than someone who was involved in genuinely high-stakes negotiating – world-class ex-FBI hostage negotiator, Chris Voss. Having seen too many B-Grade movies, your perception of dealing with hostage-takers, as was mine, may be assembling an armour-clad SWAT team, getting a clear head shot at the hostage taker, and rescuing the terrified victims.
After seeing too many incidents end in disaster for the victims, the FBI turned to using very sophisticated negotiation techniques. Most business negotiators are raised on the “Getting to Yes” approach of Fisher and Ury. One of their keys to negotiating is the assumption that the other side is going to “act rationally and selfishly in trying to maximize their position.” Your task is to get as much as you can. The only people who come close to doing this are those negotiating with other people’s money and who will make an outsized commission irrespective of the outcome.
The book’s title, ‘Never Split the Difference’, highlights the deficiencies in this approach. What is splitting the difference in a hostage negotiation? I’ll give you $5m instead of your asking price of $10m and you kill only 8 hostages and free 12?
“Negotiation, as you’ll learn it here, is nothing more than communication with results,” Voss explains. The economist Amos Tversky and the psychologist Daniel Kahneman, the founders of the field of behavioural economics, won a Nobel Prize for demonstrating that man is in fact, (and even in business,) a very irrational beast.
The beauty of the method Voss teaches is how easy it is to grasp the basics, even if it may take years to perfect these techniques. The method Voss describes was developed because it is easy to teach, easy to learn, and easy to execute. It was designed for police officers who weren’t interested in becoming academics or therapists. They simply needed a highly effective way of changing the behaviour of the hostage-taker, and to shift the emotional environment of the crisis just enough so that they can secure the safety of everyone involved.
If indeed you don’t get what you deserve, only what you ask for, you have to ask correctly. So, claim your prerogative to ask for what you think is right.
The centrepiece of this book, is ‘Tactical Empathy’ and it works. This doesn’t involve agreeing with the other person’s values and beliefs or giving out hugs, that’s sympathy.
Tactical Empathy is contingent on active listening – listening hard and doing so in a relationship-affirming way. Active Listening involves techniques such as Labelling, Mirroring, Accusation Audit, silences and more. I will address only a few.
Labelling is repeating your counterpart’s perspective back to them. You will be able to disarm your counterpart’s complaints by repeating them aloud. Labels almost always begin with the same words: It seems like … It looks like… It sounds like … and not “I’m hearing that …” The word “I” gets people’s guard up.
There is enough research that indicates that the best way to address negativity is to observe it, without reaction and without judgment. Then label the negative feeling and replace it with positive, compassionate, and solution-based thoughts. “You seem disappointed that the price you were expecting to achieve is being rejected…” Then listen encouragingly so a solution can be found.
There are three voices that are useful in a negotiation, one Voss calls the “late-night, FM DJ voice”: it is non-threating, soft, and calming. Talk that starts with “I’m sorry …” and a soft smile, makes people more open to creative solutions because their brains are not freezing in fear or anger.
“Mirroring” is feeding back to your counterpart what they have just said. Not the body language. Not the accent. Not the tone or delivery. Just the words. Sometimes repeating only the last three words or the critical one to three words of what someone has just said, will produce the desired effect. Your counterpart will inevitably elaborate, and even reveal more information that will further fuel the negotiation. Mirrors work magic.
By affirming what you are hearing, you are showing you understand (not support or concur with) your counterpart’s worldview.
“It seems like you want us to let you go.” Or “It seems like you don’t want to go ahead with the sale under these conditions.” When they can say to you “That’s right…” you have connected in a meaningful way that will allow for the exploration of other options. If they had said, “You’re right…” more often than not, they are fobbing you off.
“I always try to reinforce the message that being right isn’t the key to a successful negotiation—having the right mindset is,” Voss explains. Negotiation is not a battle between opposing forces.
By doing an accusation audit in advance, you can often surface what is their concern upfront and eliminate it. When teaching negotiation, Voss invites students to roleplay. Knowing what is going to bother them, he introduces the process with: “In case you’re worried about volunteering to roleplay with me in front of the class, I want to tell you in advance … it’s going to be horrible… (But) those of you who do volunteer will probably get more out of this than anyone else.” The response is always positive.
By listing every terrible thing your counterpart could say about you, you can address it, with playful seriousness, and elicit the useful ‘That’s right…’ reponse.
“In the decades since my initiation into the world of high-stakes negotiations, I’ve been struck again and again by how valuable these seemingly simple approaches can be. The ability to get inside the head—and eventually under the skin—of your counterpart depends on these techniques and a willingness to change your approach, based on new evidence, along the way.”
This is a remarkably engaging book, that reads like a novel, complete with reports of Voss’s gripping experiences chosen to highlight what he teaches. This is a must read for anyone whose work involves negotiation. For those who are not so engaged, read it anyway even if your most serious negotiation is your noisy neighbour or getting a seat on a “fully booked” flight.
Readability Light --+-- Serious
Insights High +---- Low
Practical High +---- Low
*Ian Mann of Gateways consults internationally on leadership and strategy and is the author of the recently released Executive Update.
Top reviews from other countries
Não que seja um problema pra mim. Mas a capa do livro vem totalmente simples, apenas em vermelho.



































