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Thank You for Arguing: What Aristotle, Lincoln, and Homer Simpson Can Teach Us About the Art of Persuasion Paperback – February 27, 2007
There is a newer edition of this item:
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Whether you’re an inveterate lover of language books or just want to win a lot more anger-free arguments on the page, at the podium, or over a beer, Thank You for Arguing is for you. Written by one of today’s most popular online language mavens, it’s warm, witty, erudite, and truly enlightening. It not only teaches you how to recognize a paralipsis and a chiasmus when you hear them, but also how to wield such handy and persuasive weapons the next time you really, really want to get your own way.
- Print length336 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherThree Rivers Press
- Publication dateFebruary 27, 2007
- Dimensions6 x 0.75 x 9.25 inches
- ISBN-100307341445
- ISBN-13978-0307341440
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Editorial Reviews
From Publishers Weekly
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About the Author
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
THE INVISIBLE ARGUMENT
A personal tale of unresisted persuasion
Truth springs from argument among friends.--david hume
It is early in the morning and my seventeen-year-old son eats breakfast, giving me a narrow window to use our sole bathroom. I wrap a towel around my waist and approach the sink, avoiding the grim sight in the mirror; as a writer, I don't have to shave every day. (Marketers despairingly call a consumer like me a "low self-monitor.") I do have my standards, though, and hygiene is one. I grab toothbrush and toothpaste. The tube is empty. The nearest replacement sits on a shelf in our freezing basement, and I'm not dressed for the part.
"George!" I yell. "Who used all the toothpaste?"
A sarcastic voice answers from the other side of the door. "That's not the point, is it, Dad?" George says. "The point is how we're going to keep this from happening again."
He has me. I have told him countless times how the most productive arguments use the future tense, the language of choices and decisions.
"You're right," I say. "You win. Now will you please get me some toothpaste?"
"Sure." George retrieves a tube, happy that he beat his father at an argument.
Or did he? Who got what he wanted? In reality, by conceding his point, I persuaded him. If I simply said, "Don't be a jerk and get me some toothpaste," George might stand there arguing. Instead I made him feel triumphant, triumph made him benevolent, and that got me exactly what I wanted. I achieved the height of persuasion: not just an agreement, but one that gets an audience--a teenaged one at that--to do my bidding.
No, George, I win.
The Matrix, Only Cooler
What kind of father manipulates his own son? Oh, let's not call it manipulation. Call it instruction. Any parent should consider rhetoric, the art of argument, one of the essential R's. Rhetoric is the art of influence, friendship, and eloquence, of ready wit and irrefutable logic. And it harnesses the most powerful of social forces, argument.
Whether you sense it or not, argument surrounds you. It plays with your emotions, changes your attitude, talks you into a decision, and goads you to buy things. Argument lies behind political labeling, advertising, jargon, voices, gestures, and guilt trips; it forms a real-life Matrix, the supreme software that drives our social lives. And rhetoric serves as argument's decoder. By teaching the tricks we use to persuade one another, the art of persuasion reveals the Matrix in all its manipulative glory.
The ancients considered rhetoric the essential skill of leadership--knowledge so important that they placed it at the center of higher education. It taught them how to speak and write persuasively, produce something to say on every occasion, and make people like them when they spoke. After the ancient Greeks invented it, rhetoric helped create the world's first democracies. It trained Roman orators like Julius Caesar and Marcus Tullius Cicero and gave the Bible its finest language. It even inspired William Shakespeare. Every one of America's founders studied rhetoric, and they used its principles in writing the Constitution.
Rhetoric faded in academia during the 1800s, when social scientists dismissed the notion that an individual could stand up to the inexorable forces of history. Who wants to teach leadership when academia doesn't believe in leaders? At the same time, English lit replaced the classics, and ancient thought fell out of vogue. Nonetheless, a few remarkable people continued to study the art. Daniel Webster picked up rhetoric at Dartmouth by joining a debating society, the United Fraternity, which had an impressive classical library and held weekly debates. Years later, the club changed its name to Alpha Delta and partied its way to immortality by inspiring the movie Animal House. To the brothers' credit, they didn't forget their classical heritage entirely; hence the toga party.
Scattered colleges and universities still teach rhetoric--in fact, the art is rapidly gaining popularity among undergraduates--but outside academia we forgot it almost entirely. What a thing to lose. Imagine stumbling upon Newton's law of gravity and meeting face-to-face with the forces that drive the universe. Or imagine coming across Freud for the first time and suddenly becoming aware of the unconscious, where your Id, Ego, and Super-Ego conduct their silent arguments.
I wrote this book for that reason: to lead you through this ill-known world of argument and welcome you to the Persuasive Elect. Along the way you'll enhance your image with Aristotle's three traits of credible leadership: virtue, disinterest, and practical wisdom. You'll find yourself using logic as a convincing tool, smacking down fallacies and building airtight assertions. Aristotle's principles will also help you decide which medium--e-mail? phone? skywriting?--works best for each message. You will discover a simple strategy to get an argument unstuck when it bogs down in accusation and anger.
And that's just the beginning. The pages to come contain more than a hundred "argument tools" borrowed from ancient texts and adapted to modern situations, along with suggestions for trying the techniques at home, school, work, or in your community. You will see when logic works best, and when you should lean on an emotional strategy. You'll acquire mind-molding figures of speech and ready-made tactics, including Aristotle's irresistible enthymeme, a neat bundle of logic that I find easier to use than pronounce.
By the end of the book you will have mastered the rhetorical tricks for making an audience eager to listen. People still love a well-delivered talk; the top professional speakers charge more per person than a Rolling Stones concert. I devote a whole chapter to Cicero's elegant five-step method for constructing a speech--invention, arrangement, style, memory, and delivery--a system that has served the greatest orators for the past two thousand years.
Great argument does not always mean elaborate speech, though. The most effective rhetoric disguises its art. And so I'll reveal a rhetorical device for implanting opinions in people's heads through sheer sleight of tongue.
Besides all these practical tools, rhetoric offers a grander, metaphysical payoff: it jolts you into a fresh new perspective on the human condition. After it awakens you to the argument all around, the world will never seem the same.
I myself am living proof.
Ooh, Baby, Stir Harder
To see just how pervasive argument is, I recently attempted a whole day without persuasion--free of advertising, politics, family squabbles, or any psychological manipulation whatsoever. No one would persuade me, and I would avoid persuading them. Heck, I wouldn't even let myself persuade myself. Nobody, not even I, would tell me what to do.
If anyone could consider himself qualified for the experiment, a confirmed hermit like me could. I work for myself; indeed, having dropped out of a career in journalism and publishing, I work by myself, in a cabin a considerable distance from my house. I live in a tiny village in northern New England, a region that boasts the most persuasion-resistant humans on the planet. Advertisers have nightmares about people like me: no TV, no cell phone, no BlackBerry, dial-up Internet. I'm commercial-free, a walking NPR, my own individual, persuasion-immune man.
As if.
My wristwatch alarm goes off at six. I normally use it to coax myself out of bed, but now I ignore it. I stare up at the ceiling, where the smoke detector blinks reassuringly. If the smoke alarm detected smoke, it would alarm, rousing the heaviest sleeper. The philosopher Aristotle would approve of the smoke detector's rhetoric; he understood the power of emotion as a motivator.
For the time being, the detector has nothing to say. But my cat does. She jumps on the bed and sticks her nose in my armpit. As reliable as my watch and twice as annoying, the cat persuades remarkably well for ten dumb pounds of fur. Instead of words she uses gesture and tone of voice--potent ingredients of argument.
I resist stoically. No cat is going to boss me around this morning.
The watch beeps again. I wear a Timex Ironman, whose name comes from a self-abusive athletic event; presumably, if the watch works for a masochist who subjects it to two miles of swimming, a hundred miles of biking, and 26.2 miles of running all in one day, it would work for someone like me who spends his lunch hour walking strenuously down to the brook to see if there are any fish. The ancient Romans would call the Ironman's brand appeal argumentum a fortiori, "argument from strength." Its logic goes like this: If something works the hard way, it's more likely to work the easy way. Advertisers favor the argument from strength. Years ago, Life cereal ran an ad with little Mikey the fussy eater. His two older brothers tested the cereal on him, figuring that if Mikey liked it, anybody would. And he liked it! An argumentum a fortiori cereal ad. My Ironman watch's own argument from strength does not affect me, however. I bought it because it was practical. Remember, I'm advertising-immune.
But its beeping is driving me crazy. Here I'm not even up yet and I already contemplate emotional appeals from a cat and a smoke detector along with a wristwatch argument from strength. Wrenching myself out of bed, I say to the mirror what I tell it every morning: "Don't take any crap from anyone."
The cat bites me on the heel. I grab my towel and go fix its breakfast.
Five minutes later I'm out of toothpaste and arguing with my son. Not a good start to my experiment, but I'll chock it up to what scientists euphemistically call an "artifact" (translation: boneheaded mistake) and move on. I make coffee, grab a pen, and begin writing ostentatiously in a notebook. This does little good ...
Product details
- Publisher : Three Rivers Press (February 27, 2007)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 336 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0307341445
- ISBN-13 : 978-0307341440
- Item Weight : 12 ounces
- Dimensions : 6 x 0.75 x 9.25 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #841,203 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #126 in Semantics (Books)
- #358 in Speech
- #833 in Communication Reference (Books)
- Customer Reviews:
About the author

One of the leading language and persuasion mavens, Jay Heinrichs is a New York Times bestselling author as well as a persuasion and conflict consultant. Middlebury College has named him a Professor of the Practice in Rhetoric and Oratory.
Jay has conducted influence strategy and training for clients as varied as Kaiser Permanente, Harvard, the European Speechwriters Association, Southwest Airlines, and NASA. Bloomberg BusinessWeek profiled him and his work with Ogilvy UK in a feature titled “Jay Heinrichs’s Powers of Persuasion.”
A former editorial director with Rodale Inc., Heinrichs is the former editor of the Dartmouth Alumni Magazine, group publisher of the Ivy League Network, founding editor of US Airways Attaché, founding editor of Southwest: The Magazine, deputy editor of Outside, and vice president of content for the SiteShell Network. He has overseen the remake and staff recruiting of more than a dozen magazines.
Heinrichs lives with his wife, Dorothy Behlen Heinrichs, a principal gifts officer for the Geisel School of Medicine at Dartmouth and the Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center. They live on 150 acres at the base of Cardigan Mountain in New Hampshire.
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Customers find the content sneakily educational, simple, and childish. They also say the book is good, interesting, and helpful with helpful ideas. Readers praise the writing quality as excellent, witty, and readable.
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Customers find the book entertaining, educational, and applicable. They appreciate the chapter summaries and great examples. They also say the book provides a good overview of rhetoric and gives things to think about. Customers say it's clever, engaging, and useful for sales reps, ad guys, politicians, and others. They find it more profitable to read each section separately and then take time to digest it.
"...Heinrichs illustrates each point with clear examples, and his language is informal and easy to follow...." Read more
"...The book will help with your understanding, but probably won't be enough to provide actual marriage help to put anger management into practice...." Read more
"...You get a good overview of rhetoric and it gives you things to think about but if you really wanted to learn the topic in any depth or improve your..." Read more
"...But it's certainly well-written.And the book is unquestionably useful, both in identifying and in using rhetorical techniques...." Read more
Customers find the book extremely engaging, with lots of gems and great language. They also say it's a great book about rhetoric and does a good job introducing the topic.
"I have now read the book and it is excellent. Therefore, I have changed my rating...." Read more
"This book is fun and pretty interesting but your opinion will probably depend on your level of interest in the topic...." Read more
"...Although the book is entertaining, useful, even important, I nevertheless had a couple complaints...." Read more
"...made learning simple and truly a joy for me...." Read more
Customers find the writing quality excellent, witty, and easy to read. They also say the book walks the reader through the art and science of rhetoric. Readers also mention that the book is clear, concise, and engaging.
"...Heinrichs does an excellent job of making a witty readable guide to rhetoric and how it gets used (and abused)in everyday life by politicians,..." Read more
"...next year because unlike most books on Rhetoric it is approachable, readable and most of all understandable...." Read more
"...Heinrichs' style of writing makes rhetoric easy to learn, and some people will be able to put it into practice just using the book...." Read more
"...This is nice as it makes it a lighter read but at the same time it can be a bit too light...." Read more
Customers find the book interesting, funny, and easy to learn.
"...each point with clear examples, and his language is informal and easy to follow...." Read more
"...I will teach next year because unlike most books on Rhetoric it is approachable, readable and most of all understandable...." Read more
"...stories (both from his own life and the lives of others) made learning simple and truly a joy for me...." Read more
"...The author was witty, his instruction was very understandable and the usefullness of the study of rhetoric was made abundantly clear...." Read more
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If you want an exhaustive listing of logical fallacies, you won't find it here (look it up online, there are hundreds of them!). What he does is group them into quintessential categories for easy recall and deployment. This is a book about being persuasive, not an academic tome on logic.
Heinrichs illustrates each point with clear examples, and his language is informal and easy to follow. Each chapter has a summary at the end that canvasses the main points covered; which normally I don't like but in this case I find it useful because the text is laden with illustrative anecdotes it is good to have the knub of what was discussed laid out.
And as to whether the content is any good, let me put it to you this way...
I'm not that precious about books, but I admit I have a handful of books that I want to keep in good condition because I will refer back to them. Those few books I cover with contact to prevent them getting damaged. In others the information contained within is such gold, that I will take notes on the entire book, creating a condensed 'cheat sheet' of the key points within for easy reference.
This book is in both categories for me, it's that good.
This is the first and only review I've done on a book.
Yeah, I guess you could say I thought it was a good purchase.
I think the kids will like the book, but like it or not, they will understand it and therefore they will learn from it. There is no higher praise for a non-fiction book. Oh, did I say it was interesting too.
I was criticized, justly, because of my prior rating for this book. It was based on the Kindle price being more than $10.00 rather than on the worth of the book as a book itself.
Stupid always enrages me. Such a price is stupid for an e-book. Another of the books I am going to require is "How To Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. This book was originally written in 1936. The publisher wants $12.99 for the Kindle edition. The company makes most of its money from people that read the book, like Warren Buffet, and then decide to take one of their courses at $2,000.00 a pop. A more intelligent plan would seem to want to gain as wide as distribution as possible for the book. Charging 13 bucks is dumb particularly when the book is available on the internet as a pdf for free. Forrest Gump was right again--"Stupid is as stupid does."
This book does not do stupid--it is well worth the price.
For most couples, the idea of arguing politely seems like a joke or at least a myth until they learn to do it. The book will help with your understanding, but probably won't be enough to provide actual marriage help to put anger management into practice.
Heinrichs' style of writing makes rhetoric easy to learn, and some people will be able to put it into practice just using the book. However, in my experience with marriage counseling, I find that couples need practical exercises to make the process really easy and natural in everyday life.
You should know that my first copy was from the library. Half-way through, I realized I wanted my own copy. Then, when I was reading my own copy, I noticed my bookmark was mysteriously changing. The mystery was solved when my 22-year-old son announced he had been reading it and wanted to "borrow" it--and now I am buying my second copy.
Heinrichs has a light and humorous style. He brings stories from his own life, and he makes very complex concepts understandable through modern-day examples. I recommend this book for anyone wanting to improve his or her relationships.
Top reviews from other countries
Reviewed in India on October 23, 2018
All the areas are covered: demeanour and character, logical arguing, fallacies, speech-giving, figures of speech, etc.
I highly recommend this book, it's very practical and illuminating.
Heinrichs puts his arguement across well and develops his ideas logically throughout the book. Like any good writer of something of reference the conclusions at the end of each chapter allow a certain ammount of cheating - should you wish only to cover the key points. This also serves to aid in referring back to find key sections. His style is conversational but manages to avoid sounding partronising - unlike some books of its kind.
There are two thoroughly refreshing aspects to this book that made the reading experience all the more enjoyable. The first was the juxtaposition of the classic (and well researched) arguments with some very contemporary references. Some of the contrasts are mentioned in the title and it really does mix them up in this way. This is particularly effective when the arguement itself becomes complex and somewhat abstract. It may lead to the book dating somewhat in years to come, but does really help illuminate the points most effectively.
The other aspect I enjoyed was his almost obsessive notation and the derivation of the words, in particular. This will result in my ensuring this book is put to good use and not left to gather dust.
If you are looking for something to illustrate the power of persuasion then this book definately achieves the remit. It is an engrossing, unconventionally illustrated, and ultimately intersting read.



