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The Marriage-Go-Round: The State of Marriage and the Family in America Today Paperback – April 6, 2010

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Andrew J. Cherlin (Author)
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Andrew J. Cherlin (Author)
3.9 out of 5 stars 18 customer reviews
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Vintage; 1 edition (April 6, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0307386384
  • ISBN-13: 978-0307386380
  • Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.8 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (18 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #38,352 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5 starsBottom line: great read.
By Adam on May 26, 2009
Format: Hardcover
The Marriage Go Round will shift the way you think about America's most hotly debated institution. Unlike so many treatments of the subject in the popular press, which often seem to be little more than political pamphleteering, Professor Cherlin's book does not easily yield a liberal or conservative label.

Its main ideas are big and non-intuitive -- the way I like 'em. It's got the "wow on every page" factor that Malcolm Gladwell's books offer. But unlike Gladwell, who's a journalist who summarizes other people's research, Professor Cherlin's the real deal: an academic who's spent decades in the trenches studying this stuff.

So what does Marriage Go Round tell us? First of all, Americans marry and divorce way more than people from other countries do. And our high rate of "relationship turnover" causes extreme agita. In other words, it may not be great to get divorced, but it's even worse to cycle in and out of relationships, particularly when children are involved. Instability is worse than stability, even the "stability" of being alone.

The book also talks about the schizophrenic attitude Americans have towards marriage. On the one hand, we idealize it. (It's crucial to marry in order to live a full life.) On the other hand, we idealize our freedom and independence. (If a marriage isn't giving us what we need, it should be abandoned.) We embrace both ideals without realizing they contradict each other. But they do. And when they collide, it drives us over the bend.

So what should we do? How do we "get off" the Marriage Go Round? Here, Cherlin's advice seems apropos for our time: we need to slow down! Stop hopping in and out of relationships. Take the time to figure yourself out first.Read more ›
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5.0 out of 5 starstop notch
By C. P. Anderson on July 6, 2009
Format: Hardcover
The author focuses on 2 themes here - the high value Americans place on marriage and the high value we place on independence. His main point is that these values are rather contradictory. He sees that as explaining our rather unique approach to marriage in the industrialized world - i.e., the marriage churn, or merry go-round, of cohabit-marry-divorce-repeat.

The big issue here, of course, is the effect on the kids. In fact, Cherlin goes so far as to claim that a single-parent family is healthier than one where the kids are exposed to multiple parental partners and the lack of stability that involves.

Cherlin covers the topic from all angles, touching on history, class, race, religion, mobility, globalization - all the important pieces of the puzzle. He also has an incredibly clear and lucid style. In fact, it's almost impossible to misunderstand what he's trying to get across. He really takes his time to make sure you hear and understand his argument.

He also really knows his stuff. As another reviewer pointed out, we're not just dealing with another Malcolm Gladwell here. At the same time, his mastery of the details doesn't keep him from putting the pieces together and coming up with some very insightful and thought-provoking explanations and connections.

One of the editorial reviews slighted the book for not really providing a solution. Cherlin does mention a few ideas but, no, he really doesn't offer the magic, all-encompassing fix that a lot of people expect for issue books like this these days.

I actually admire him for this. This topic is way too complex to admit of any silver bullet. I think it's enough that he points out the problem and analyzes it so incisively. That's the first step.Read more ›
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5.0 out of 5 starsBringing a much-needed light to bear on American marriages
By Susannah Merrill on May 25, 2009
Format: Hardcover
I just picked this book up because I was curious about what the author might have to say about "The State of Marriage and Family in America Today". After reading the back and the flaps, I bought it straight up. I had never heard of Andrew Cherlin before, but I looked him up and was favorably impressed by his credentials. More importantly, I appreciate his reasonable examination of marriage and family, two very high-emotion topics. He discusses marriage from many different angles, all comparing the pulls of two pillars of American society: individualism and traditional marriage. It seems that every page has fascinating tidbits and thoughts on it!

And let me just say that I for one very much like the old-fashioned rough pages, and that they didn't present any difficulty at all for me in reading this excellent book.
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4.0 out of 5 starsCareful sociological study of marriages in flux
By Thomas W. Sulcer on July 8, 2009
Format: Hardcover
Andrew Cherlin's "The Marriage-Go-Round" is a careful and well-researched sociological study examining how Americans keep shuffling partners. Why do we seem to marry, divorce, and re-marry with such frequency? The merry-go-round metaphor is apt -- "frequent marriage, frequent divorce, more short-term cohabiting relationships ... Americans step on and off the carousel of intimate partnerships" he writes. He examines how attitudes towards marriage have changed drastically since the 1950s: "That people could skip from one live-in relationship to another, not because their partners were abusive or unfaithful but merely because that's what they wanted, would have horrified many people."

I had not realized the 1950s generation was somewhat atypical of longer term trends. The husband-breadwinner wife-at-home combination of marrying early, having many children, with a fairly stable home life was a result of pent-up demand for families created during the Depression and World War II years. It produced an unprecedented baby boom generation of which both the author and myself are members.

Mr. Cherlin's plausible conclusion is that two sets of conflicting values are at play -- one valuing commitment, another valuing personal choice. "... this distinctive pattern of multiple partnerships is related to the central place in America culture of both marriage and a kind of individualism that emphasizes self-expression and personal growth." And I think he's basically right.

He examines historical patterns, legal considerations such as divorce laws, gender relations, the impact of religion. He contrasts patterns in the United States with Western Europe, particularly Britain and France. He writes: "...Read more ›
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Most Recent Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5 starsMarrital goals in conflict

This book provides us with a concise history of the American family It contrasts the emphasis in the U.S. on the importance and normality of marriage. Read more

Published 1 month ago by William M. Cross
4.0 out of 5 starsAcademic not a handbook

Classic sociology; worth the read for anyone with academic interest in subject. Won't allocate remote control between spouses.

Published 8 months ago by William L.
1.0 out of 5 starsThe absolute worst book for studying

The absolute worst book for studying!
The table of content is terrible, no highlights for anything! Just a long boring text. Read more

Published 14 months ago by Noch
5.0 out of 5 starsgood book i purchased for school.

good book i purchased for school.

Published 14 months ago by Jimmy Otterby
1.0 out of 5 starsThis is a pretty fairly simplistic bad book

This is a pretty fairly simplistic bad book. Very few new ideas. Everything is about convincing you that in america the fact that people get married -divorced- and get married... Read more

Published 18 months ago by Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 starsIf you want to understand where we are and how we got to where we are...

Andrew Cherlin is the top American sociologist of family life. If you want to understand where we are and how we got to where we are this book is very highly recommended.

Published 20 months ago by Highlander
5.0 out of 5 starsFive Stars

Exactly what I needed and came in just in time before I went back to school ! 😃

Published 22 months ago by Nelly Herrera
5.0 out of 5 starsFive Stars

Interesting and accurate account on the state of marriage in our society including the history of marriage.

Published on August 1, 2014 by Linda Landry-Pires
2.0 out of 5 starsThe Basic Ideas of The Book Don't Hold Up to Analysis

In The Marriage-Go-Round, Andrew Cherlin offers a simple explanation for the high rate of divorce in the U.S. Read more

Published on June 21, 2014 by Wayne & Tamara Mitchell
3.0 out of 5 starsI have an idea for a better book

This is a copy/paste from my Goodreads.com review
After reading Premarital Sex in America I see that Cherlin only showed us the tip of the iceberg as to the real WHY of... Read more

Published on October 2, 2013 by Michelle Llewellyn

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