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Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect Paperback – October 7, 2014

by Matthew D. Lieberman (Author)
4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 711 ratings
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We are profoundly social creatures--more than we know. 

In Social, renowned psychologist Matthew Lieberman explores groundbreaking research in social neuroscience revealing that our need to connect with other people is even more fundamental, more basic, than our need for food or shelter. Because of this, our brain uses its spare time to learn about the social world--other people and our relation to them. It is believed that we must commit 10,000 hours to master a skill. According to Lieberman, each of us has spent 10,000 hours learning to make sense of people and groups by the time we are ten.
 
Social argues that our need to reach out to and connect with others is a primary driver behind our behavior. We believe that pain and pleasure alone guide our actions. Yet, new research using fMRI--including a great deal of original research conducted by Lieberman and his UCLA lab--shows that our brains react to social pain and pleasure in much the same way as they do to physical pain and pleasure. Fortunately, the brain has evolved sophisticated mechanisms for securing our place in the social world. We have a unique ability to read other people’s minds, to figure out their hopes, fears, and motivations, allowing us to effectively coordinate our lives with one another. And our most private sense of who we are is intimately linked to the important people and groups in our lives. This wiring often leads us to restrain our selfish impulses for the greater good. These mechanisms lead to behavior that might seem irrational, but is really just the result of our deep social wiring and necessary for our success as a species.
 
Based on the latest cutting edge research, the findings in Social have important real-world implications. Our schools and businesses, for example, attempt to minimalize social distractions. But this is exactly the wrong thing to do to encourage engagement and learning, and literally shuts down the social brain, leaving powerful neuro-cognitive resources untapped. The insights revealed in this pioneering book suggest ways to improve learning in schools, make the workplace more productive, and improve our overall well-being.
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  1. Print length
    384 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Crown
  4. Publication date
    October 7, 2014
  5. Dimensions
    5.15 x 0.8 x 8 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    9780307889102
  7. ISBN-13
    978-0307889102
  8. See all details
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Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
711 global ratings

Customers say

Customers find the book compelling, interesting, and well-written. They also appreciate the scientific insights and illuminating findings.

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ReadabilityInsight
69 customers mention "Readability"65 positive4 negative

Customers find the book compelling, interesting, and well-written. They say it's a mind-blowing and inspiring read.

"A very compelling book on the physical goings on within our minds during our most average everyday lives...." Read more

"...While the non data oriented parts read well, I wish he could have injected that tone throughout the book without sacrificing information...." Read more

"...This is one of the best books I've read, and feel the implications discussed in this book are some of the most important we need to be aware of in..." Read more

"...This is an important book which will make the reader (at least it made this reader) appreciate the necessity of human connection." Read more

44 customers mention "Insight"41 positive3 negative

Customers find the book offers good information and scientific insight into why we all need social interaction. They say it's well-researched, illuminating, and entertaining. Readers also mention the author does a great job explaining the concepts. Overall, they describe it as a great read with the latest research and excellent for understanding dynamics.

"...It also gives a comprehensive understanding as to how our society has evolved into the social dependency it is today...." Read more

"...Great insight for managers or those working with large teams." Read more

"...There was just so much good information in this book that I see myself rereading it over the years to fully internalize and understand what to do..." Read more

"...His research is impressive, his writing is engaging, his findings are illuminating, and the subject is fascinating...." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

j smith
5.0 out of 5 stars Super interesting
Reviewed in the United States on February 9, 2024
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A lot of interesting about our social brains, I’m recommending to everyone I know
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Steve W
5.0 out of 5 stars Social....
Reviewed in the United States on July 3, 2015
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A very compelling book on the physical goings on within our minds during our most average everyday lives. Dr Lieberman is a psychologist who has dedicated his life to understanding the functionality of the brain and why it responses the way it does. This book breaks down how nature has adapted our evolution as a social society and why. This gives a great insight to what portions of the brain react to certain situations and why. It also gives a comprehensive understanding as to how our society has evolved into the social dependency it is today. Dr Lieberman is not shy about sharing his own possibility embarrassing experiences in order to further his point on our social dependencies. For that..... I give five stars. Although I probably would have done so anyway because his research is fascinating on its own. 😃
7 people found this helpful
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NooReader
4.0 out of 5 stars The bulk of it can sound like you are reading through a university thesis
Reviewed in the United States on December 15, 2014
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A very interesting and insightful work by Dr. Lieberman. You can tell he has put his life's work into uncovering these universal truths regarding humans and social behavior. There are many factoids regarding communication and people management that I will remember the rest of my life. However, the book reads incredibly dry. The bulk of it can sound like you are reading through a university thesis, which makes sense given the author's credentials and primary field of study. His attempt at making the data heavy experiments digestible is to sandwich the base material between an intro and conclusion in layman's prose. Unfortunately, sections sometimes read as: Intro, A+B=C, A+B≠D, Conclusion. While the non data oriented parts read well, I wish he could have injected that tone throughout the book without sacrificing information. With all that being said, if you are interested in understanding more about the human condition, I absolutely recommend this book. Great insight for managers or those working with large teams.
4 people found this helpful
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Robert B. Lloyd
5.0 out of 5 stars A brilliant and enlightening book
Reviewed in the United States on November 30, 2018
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So my background is in therapy, and am always looking for books to enhance my understanding of human nature. This is one of the best books I've read, and feel the implications discussed in this book are some of the most important we need to be aware of in appreciating who we are. The author made a persuasive case with this book that our social connections really make or break us. There was just so much good information in this book that I see myself rereading it over the years to fully internalize and understand what to do with this important information.
6 people found this helpful
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George
5.0 out of 5 stars We are more EO Wilson's ant than Ayn Rand's architect
Reviewed in the United States on December 17, 2013
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This is another strong offering under the general category of evolutionary psychology. However, what makes this book different -- and shocking -- is the conclusion drawn toward the end. We are fundamentally mistaken about "who we are" because our evolved brain regularly tricks us into thinking we are taking certain actions or thinking certain thoughts on behalf of ourselves when, really, these actions & thoughts are on behalf of our social group. For some reason I was reminded of the '70's move, Soylent Green, where at the climax Charlton Heston raises a bloodied hand and shouts: "Soylent Green is People!" Well, Matthew Lieberman, as an academic, understandably shies away from using bloody hands, agonized cries, or even exclamation points, but you could easily imagine the unstated climax of his book as being: "The Self is People!"

Now that we have this fundamentally new understanding of the Self, how do we live with it? Lieberman address this but, to me, it feels more like a piece of candy and a pat on the back after a visit to the doctor. What might be a better follow up is a book that would be something similar to The Robot's Rebellion, Stanovich's take on the implications of The Selfish Gene....or maybe even something like Camus' Myth of Sisyphus, but rooted in this brave new world of the "Self."
8 people found this helpful
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NJ Person
5.0 out of 5 stars He DIDN'T blind me with science.
Reviewed in the United States on October 31, 2013
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When I got to the passage explaining how Tylenol works as effectively on emotional pain as it does physical pain, I actually said "Wow" out loud. There are many such "wow" out loud passages in this book. Lieberman (and his colleagues, all of whom he generously mentions) has conducted quietly revolutionary research on humanity's need for social connections and explains, clearly and in a manner accessible to laypersons, how our human brains are built to crave emotional bonds with others and how that craving has helped us evolve. His research is impressive, his writing is engaging, his findings are illuminating, and the subject is fascinating. This is an important book which will make the reader (at least it made this reader) appreciate the necessity of human connection.
5 people found this helpful
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Amazon Customer
3.0 out of 5 stars Super boring in the beginning
Reviewed in the United States on March 1, 2018
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Super boring in the beginning. I put the book down multiple times and have regrettably not picked it back up since. I want to get into the information within the book but find it tiresome to sift through the evolutionist theory related to the main points.

One day when I have more time or am so bored, maybe I'll make it through to the good content. FYI, I read little of the book and am writing this a while after. Maybe I'm wrong and just didn't read enough into the book.
One person found this helpful
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Ed Barton
4.0 out of 5 stars Wired
Reviewed in the United States on July 27, 2022
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Is it pure survival - or something far deeper? These are the types of questions asked and explored in this book on the need for human social interaction. Distinguishing humans from other mammals, Lieberman brings science to bear on why our social interactions are so critical, and what the implications are for the future of electronic connection and the era of “bowling alone”. An interesting if somewhat difficult read.
2 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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Theo
5.0 out of 5 stars Ignore 1 star reviews. This is a masterpiece
Reviewed in Germany on May 4, 2021
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Ignore 1 star reviews. This is a masterpiece
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jose wladimir freitas da fonseca
5.0 out of 5 stars Uma obra espetacular
Reviewed in Brazil on December 12, 2019
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O livro é espetacular. O autor foi meu Professor na pós graduação em Neurociências. Uma obra para neurocientistas e leigos.
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Good book
Reviewed in India on November 13, 2020
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Good book. Teaches a lot about human interaction and how our ability to socialize and communicate has taken us forward in life as a species. While the book is to a large extent technical in its approach, I think if you have the patience and the openness to learn, there is great value in this book.
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Cliente de Amazon
5.0 out of 5 stars Excelente lectura
Reviewed in Mexico on May 9, 2018
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Excelente libro que nos ofrece un amplio conocimiento de la psicologia social, con información fundamentada y ejemplos aplicados a situaciones de la vida real, tiene algo de tecnisísmo pero al ser repetitivo nos vamos familiarizando con los términos de acuerdo a como se va avanzando en la lectura.
La aplicación de este conocimiento en nuestra sociedad y a nivel personal puede traer grandes beneficios para mejorar nuestras relaciones personales y nuesta conexión con el entorno social.
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Thierry Landrieu
5.0 out of 5 stars L'homme animal social ou part de société ?
Reviewed in France on March 5, 2018
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Le livre est à la hauteur de ses promesses . Facile à lire , l'auteur n'hésite pas à revenir sur ses explications à travers de brèves synthèses . Interessant si vous vous intéressez aux théories de l'esprit .... et au fait qu'on est beaucoup moins égoïstes qu'on se plait à se l'imaginer .
Va bien en complément de "sapiens " .
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