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The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex: (And You Thought Bad Girls Have All the Fun) Paperback – March 4, 2012

4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 1,608 ratings

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Billions of people have had sex. Far fewer have made love. In the Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex, author Sheila Wray Gregoire helps women see how sexual intimacy was designed to be physically stupendous but also incredibly intimate.

Whether you're about to walk down the aisle or you've been married for decades, The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex will lead you on a wonderful journey of discovery towards the amazing sex life God designed you for.

With humor, research, and lots of anecdotes, author Sheila Wray Gregoire helps women see how our culture's version of sex, which concentrates on the physical above all else, makes sex shallow. God, on the other hand, intended sex to unite us physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Gregoire walks through these three aspects of sex, showing how to make each amazing, and how to overcome the roadblocks in each area we often encounter.

Drawing on survey results from over 2,000 people, she also includes lots of voices from other Good Girls, giving insight into how other women have learned to truly enjoy sex in marriage.

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Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
1,608 global ratings

Customers say

Customers find the information in the book insightful and practical. They appreciate the Biblical content and say it's an excellent book about Christian marriage. Readers describe the writing as entertaining, frank, and conversational. They also find the author funny and hilarious. Readers describe the author as real, straightforward, and matter-of-fact. They mention the book is easy to read and hard to put down. Opinions are mixed on the style, with some finding it down-to-earth and beautiful, while others say it's amazing and wonderful.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

195 customers mention "Information quality"193 positive2 negative

Customers find the book insightful, honest, and has sound advice on the mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects of sex. They say it contains wisdom for helping them navigate the errors of our culture. Readers also mention the information contained on these pages is priceless and delved deeply into the spiritual and emotional aspects of sex, with personal testimonials.

"...After reading this book, I find our sexual encounters far more satisfying, beautiful, and fulfilling...." Read more

"...First, she does a brilliant job at explaining the underlying disagreement in many arguments about sex: "Men make love to feel loved, whereas..." Read more

"...This book is quite refreshing in how it points out that there is no need to be embarrassed about sex in marriage, as that is what it is created for!..." Read more

"...I think she is insightful and honest. This book just didn't win me over to her points." Read more

63 customers mention "Christianity"60 positive3 negative

Customers find the book thoroughly Biblical and practical. They say it's an excellent book about Christian marriage and the great sex that can go along with it. Readers appreciate the relevant Bible references that are sprinkled throughout. In addition, they mention the honest approach and God-centered analogies.

"...It has sections on getting ready for marriage, the actual details of what sex entails, and many chapters on not only continuing a healthy sexual..." Read more

"...This book is the answer to a poorly articulated but well understood prayer. Praise God! I can't say enough about how great it is...." Read more

"...I liked the relevant Bible references that are sprinkled throughout, which emphasize the relational and spiritually uniting aspects of sex between..." Read more

"...We have a wonderful Marriage, filled with mutual love and respect, and trust!..." Read more

48 customers mention "Writing quality"45 positive3 negative

Customers find the writing quality of the book entertaining, honest, and easy to read. They appreciate the perspective of the writer and say it's a quick and worthwhile read.

"...Third, she is a great communicator. Her writing is a pleasure to read. It is definitely not literature, but it is full of practical advice...." Read more

"...It is well written, making it easy to read...." Read more

"...thank you for such a candid book that I must say is a very interesing conversation starter at the work room lunch table--even the men were fighting..." Read more

"...It is very tastefully written and I am thankful for it being centered on a Christ honoring marriage...." Read more

19 customers mention "Humor"19 positive0 negative

Customers find the author funny, honest, and hilarious. They say the book is a fun read.

"...The author is funny, honest, and is mostly balanced...." Read more

"...She’s funny and honest and bonus she’s teaching the Bible in a fresh way...." Read more

"...Sheila has some great advice and wisdom to share. On top of that, she is hilarious which makes it a very fun read!..." Read more

"...very matter-of-fact and down to earth style, with a great sense of humor wound through each page...." Read more

15 customers mention "Authenticity"15 positive0 negative

Customers find the author real, straightforward, and funny. They appreciate that the book is honest and matter-of-fact.

"...The author is funny, honest, and is mostly balanced...." Read more

"...She’s funny and honest and bonus she’s teaching the Bible in a fresh way...." Read more

"What I found so refreshing about this book is that it is direct, honest, and REAL...." Read more

"I wish I had read this 20 years ago!This book offers an honest, frank yet discreet view into how God intended his gift of sex to be...." Read more

13 customers mention "Ease of use"13 positive0 negative

Customers find the book very straightforward and open. They say it's a tutorial with common sense and pure wisdom from the author. Readers also mention the advice is hard to put down and can be applied immediately.

"...The great thing about this book is that you can apply her advice straight away...." Read more

"...The book is an easy read, a real page turner with nuggets of wisdom everywhere insterspeced with stories/relevant examples/statistical data to drive..." Read more

"...I found this book to be a real gift to women – very straight-forward and open...." Read more

"...Sheila writes as if she is your good friend and it's easy to understand and put into practice the ideas she has...." Read more

9 customers mention "Comfort"9 positive0 negative

Customers find the book comforting. They say it puts them at ease and encourages them. Readers also mention the author did a fantastic job of not making it awkward. They say the book helps them feel close and get over inhibitions given by parents and the church.

"...for some sort of sexual fun every 48 hours, which helps us both feel so incredibly close. Thank you Sheila!..." Read more

"...The author did a fantastic job of not making it awkward, it made great sense. I gave this to my sisters, sister-in-laws...and all of my girlfriends...." Read more

"I thought this book was great. It helped me feel more comfortable and gain a new perspective on marriage and sex...." Read more

"...This book was like having the sex talk with a good girlfriend, comfortable and matter-of-fact...." Read more

15 customers mention "Style"9 positive6 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the style of the book. Some mention it's down-to-earth, candid, and bold. However, others say it's too graphic, raunchy, explicit, and graphic.

"...reading this book, I find our sexual encounters far more satisfying, beautiful, and fulfilling...." Read more

"...It does have quite a few graphic parts, so I dont think it would be very useful to a virgin who plans to stay that way with no plans to marry...." Read more

"...the physical aspects, but it is presented in a very modest and clean fashion...." Read more

"This is a bit graphic, but so on point to what is missing in the basic and purest form of sexuality in a God centered marriage...." Read more

😃
5 out of 5 stars
😃
Let me start off by saying I was super excited to buy this book. After read so many positive reviews I thought I’d give it a go. I’ve been with my husband 6 years and I’m new to the understanding that God actually made my marriage as close as it is intentionally. When stumbling upon this book I was actually looking for a book that would help me understand marriage in a biblical way. I was curious to see if what we have is that kind of marriage. We always had a happy/healthy marriage and oddly enough I felt guilty about that. Even more so when others around me didn’t have a relationship with there husband or wife like we do. This book has helped me with excepting that having a happy/healthy marriage while others I knew didn’t was nothing to feel guilty about. After reading this book I can say feel even more connected with my husband! Reading this book has opened my eyes a bit on what our relationship. There is even a lot of things we have already been doing and have worked on through the years. It’s a reaffirmation of of union and what it means in a whole. Sheila has just add so much more to the way I see God, how he loves us and how he is using my marriage to model that. Absolutely love how the she gives off the vibe of a friend just chats with you even as your blushing it out 😄 it still feels like a safe place. She’s funny and honest and bonus she’s teaching the Bible in a fresh way.P.s. new to marriage, need healing from the past, want to learn about relationship, want to spice it up, want to stand up for your marriage?! This is for you! Thanks Sheila for laying it all out there
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Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on August 3, 2018
I'm going to do it, I'm going to write a public review for a Christian book written entirely to help strengthen your marriage by promoting healthier relationships and not just good, but GREAT SEX. I am a conservative Anabaptist Mennonite Christian, now serving on the mission field with my husband in India. We are newlyweds, having been married (In India) the day after Easter this year. I purchased this book before we were married, but I'm going to admit - I was too shy to even read it on my e-ink kindle. I was ashamed, as if I had sneaked something dirty into our home...but, a few months into our marriage, quite frankly, I needed some help and advice from a married-for-years, godly elder woman in Christ. I found myself desperate enough for answers that I opened this book and began to read...and read....and read. I hate that the title of this book made me so ashamed, because I've learned that while sex is nothing to be ashamed of - we as Christians SHOULD BE experiencing AMAZING SEX with our husbands. It was not a fault of this author, it was a fault of my upbringing, and of conservative Christian teachings that made me ashamed of something as wonderful and beautiful as God created sex to be. Girlfriend, don't even think about it, just buy the book. Don't be scared, timid, or shy - just fork over the money and begin to read about all God created sex to be between you and your beloved. About two weeks into reading as much of this book as I could digest at one time, my husband finally asked me where in the world I was learning the things I was putting to use in our bedroom. I'm not sure if he wanted to give them a high-five, or buy a similar book for men; but he is very pleased. And, honestly, I'm so much more pleased! Sex is fun, but more than the one act, it's about intimacy and finding what makes your partner feel loved, connected and special. After reading this book, I find our sexual encounters far more satisfying, beautiful, and fulfilling. It's not easy to re-learn what you have misunderstood as long as I've misunderstood sex, but it's a journey I am so thankful to have started. My husband and I were both virgins when we married, and because of nerves, it took us three days to consummate the marriage. In America, I'd helped prepare honeymoon baskets for Christian sisters who were married - complete with lacy lingerie, paint brushes, honey, chocolate syrup, strawberries and truffles....but marrying into the Indian culture, I was so very wary of what I thought could offend my husband. Turns out, touch is one of his love languages...and that honeymoon basket would have been a welcome factor to him, though he says a manual or book could have helped him too. I've highlighted the section about places on a woman's body to explore for him - and after I finish this book, I intend to find a partner for it that he can read. Get over yourself and what you think you know, read this book, and see how godly a mutually satisfying sex life can be! I HIGHLY recommend this book to girls about to get married, BUT hey, when I've been on the phone with my mom since I've been reading this book, she's been taking down some notes, sooo... Yea. :D
47 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on August 5, 2014
This is the best book I have read on the subject of sex within the Christian marriage. The author is funny, honest, and is mostly balanced. Most of the Christian books related to sex are written by men (some co-written by the wives), and the ones I have read did not do a great job really discussing the woman's side of things. This book is specifically for women, and it is long overdue. I read the book in one sitting and have been reading many of her blog posts since. I also purchased her 31 day challenge on Amazon, and my husband and I like it so far. The great thing about this book is that you can apply her advice straight away. I read the book on a weekend that my husband was away and he noticed a difference the evening he returned. He's even picked up the book and skimmed it a bit because I like it so much. There are three really good things about it, and two minor issues that I disliked.

First, she does a brilliant job at explaining the underlying disagreement in many arguments about sex: "Men make love to feel loved, whereas women need to feel loved to make love." I have read many other books that have tried to explain this concept, but she does such a good job of boiling it down to the basics. I think understanding this is great for husbands and wives. Many wives I know think that sex is just physical for their husbands, and it really isn't. Just discussing this with my husband was great because it made us both more aware of each other.

Second, she explains the spiritual, emotional, and physical triad that makes up sex. She divides these things into sections but does a great job of tying the three together. By separating them she is able to really focus on the specific component. Some of the other books have a topical approach that integrates all three in every chapter. That can take away from the idea that these are all components which should be addressed and fulfilled in a healthy marriage.

Third, she is a great communicator. Her writing is a pleasure to read. It is definitely not literature, but it is full of practical advice. And her writing is not dry at all. You can tell that she has shared a variety of struggles in her married sex life, but truly enjoys sharing and improving her sex life with her husband. She can relate to struggles, but definitely does not let women make a bunch of excuses about their responsibility in their sex life. There is a lot of importance placed on the husband's role, but there is an equal amount placed on wives. I think this is a balanced approach which is applicable for the modern evangelical couple. Husbands and wives both have responsibilities and needs.

Now, the two minor issues I somewhat disliked. First, although she is balanced she typically gives women the benefit of the doubt more than men. This is minor and does not detract from the message of the book, but it is something to be aware of when reading. Second, she downplays oral sex (and warns about its potential to lead to selfishness in the bedroom), yet she encourages role playing/fantasies (in the context of one's marriage, and only concerning one's spouse). I think there is more danger in role playing/fantasies than there is in oral sex. She discusses the pitfalls of pornography and erotica (to men and women), and it seems like role playing/fantasies is straddling the line. Another major point she makes to women is the importance of being mentally there when making love, and I think role playing/fantasies could really get in the way of that. On the other hand, oral sex has the possibility of being very selfless, in addition to being a pleasurable way to give and receive expressions of love.

With all that said, this is a great book and I would highly recommend it to engaged Christian women and wives.
8 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

Jenn
5.0 out of 5 stars Christian Self help book
Reviewed in Canada on February 10, 2023
It had a lot of good points. Definitely worth a read if it's an area you are struggling in .
Darlington B.
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Book on Marriage
Reviewed in Germany on December 7, 2018
This is a very interesting book I particularly got for my wife as a present. It provides profound Christian advice on marriage and the delicate relationship between man and woman that exists. I have learnt quite a lot from this book already even though I just started reading it.
Amina
5.0 out of 5 stars Not just for your sex life but also for your marriage
Reviewed in India on December 25, 2015
It was a good heart warming read. That was the best part. While I read some parts, I smiled n thought how exactly that matched with my marriage. It changed many misconceptions I had. The first one was how each every one was created perfect, everything right in its place. I always thought I had something wrong with me as i couldn't enjoy sex as much as my husband does. And also now I understand how pornography (erotica in my case) was destroying my sex life. I also realise how importance it was to find an emotional and spiritual connection with my husband before I could attain a truly profound sexual connection with him. And the most comforting fact of all, that it actually does get better with practice!! I certainly believed I was doomed with a boring sex life after the first few months of marriage. I had no idea, that things actually better not only with practice but also as we grow closer to each other in more ways than one.
This was certainly a religious book meant specifically for christians but that didn't put me off because I am a very devout muslim and believe in many of the things she says like how sex was created by God for the sole purpose of creating a deep intimate bond between man and woman.
She did write many parts specifically for engaged women or newly weds which were dragging. I do wish I had read this back then and will certainly recommend this book to brides to be.
Thanks for the great advices Shiela.
Yomi O.
5.0 out of 5 stars I LOVED THIS BOOK!!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on November 10, 2012
I didn't really know what to expect when I bought this book (I was in one of my 1-click splurges whilst on my Kindle!).
I was looking for materials to help me in my decision to be celibate, so in some ways, going by the title, it seemed like a pointless choice. But I read some reviews, read the introduction and thought it was a good choice.

This book is great! The message is that the idea of 'good sex' has been hijacked by the secular world, leading christian women to believe that a fun, exciting sexual relationship within a marriage is sinful. She debunks this myth by really discussing God's vision for marriage.

I'm not married, but this book really helped me. I began looking at sex in a brand new light, that regardless of if you aren't entering your marriage as a virgin, sex can still be new. I examined the reasons I had been involved in sexual relationships (apart from the obvious). Had me running back to God and reaffirming why I am embracing abstainance.

If you are a virgin, engaged, a newly-wed or long time married; this book is for you. It covers so much, some you may know and some you will not. At the end of it, you can come away with tools to enhance your experiences in your marriage so that it can be everything God has promised.
Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Absolutely amazing
Reviewed in India on August 4, 2020
I could not have imagined how women felt about the topic of sex without reading this book. I am glad I did read it and I have recommended my wife to read it as well. I will reread it with her now. Thanks to Shiela for such a wonderful research and presentation of ideas.