The Coldest Girl in Coldtown by Holly Black
Edition reviewed: First edition hardcover by Little, Brown and Company
No major spoilers, minor spoilers under "the romance".
Rating: 2 stars
Why I picked it up:
This book came highly recommended by reviewers, friends, critics, etc. I knew the basic premise, in a society with “coldtowns,” and I was excited for a strong standalone novel, amongst a sea of YA series. I mean, how many urban fantasy romances do you see floating around that aren’t a part of a longer duology, trilogy, etc.?
So I added it to my Amazon cart. And after receiving it, I told myself to wait, so I could savor the moments when I cracked open the book to enter Holly Black’s world of coldtowns.
And this is my review.
The Writing:
Rather than describing the general summary of the novel, I’m going to assume that most of you have read the provided description.
Before I even get to the actual writing comments, I need to get something off my chest: One of my biggest pet peeves in books is when the book feels dated. This book was definitely dated and no where near timeless. Website like Flickr, Tumblr, and Youtube are mentioned constantly, camera phones are everywhere – this is definitely the kind of book that feels like it’s going to get really old really fast.
On top of that, the technology element literally cannot be ignored. The fact that everything in this novel, practically, is being filmed and watched by the world made me feel uncomfortable. Not that I mind technology. In The Uglies trilogy by Scott Westerfeld, technology is a huge part of the characters’ culture and society, but I wouldn’t be able to tell you if it was written this year, or if it was written 20 years ago. With The Coldest Girl in Coldtown, I doubt I’d be able to forget. It didn’t make me roll my eyes, and the parties thrown in Uglies are actually interesting.
Now on to the actual writing.
A lot of other people have touched on this as a negative: the characters are unlikeable, melodramatic, and unrealistic. Why would Holly Black write about these characters that readers want to hate? She’s obviously an experienced writer, and I’m sure she could craft more believable, likeable characters, but that did not happen in this novel. I generally like many more characters than I dislike, but I honestly couldn’t relate to anyone in this book. I think it’s partially the way they behave, but it’s also that I don’t find Holly Black to have a convincing teenager voice. I can’t immerse myself in the writing because it just seems very superficial. Not to say that I can only read YA voices, because I read an equal amount of adult fiction as Young Adult fiction. In this book, with this setup, these characters, and this plot, the voice didn’t work out.
There are some memorable parts of this book that were interesting, but all of that is completely overshadowed by the drawn out writing – it constantly seemed to dragon. On top of that, it always feels as though you know what will happen next. Not that the ending was predictable, you can almost always tell what the next part of the story will be, which really ruins the decent suspense that the book had going.
Holly Black is a skilled writer, but the characters (see below) seemed utterly unrelatable, and the events, no matter how dramatic, were the very opposite of raw. The writing just exuded an overly polished feel, and I couldn’t bring myself to care about anything, despite the gruesome details.
Not emoted, and that’s saying a lot because I am the biggest crier ever. My eyes tear up at the drop of a hat, and I was stunned by how little I cared for this book. Honestly, it sounded so promising, and I was sure that at least a tiny part of me would latch onto something to like in this book. But instead, I was let down by the curious emptiness in the writing.
The Characters:
I have never read a book where I have disliked the characters so much. I felt indifference for the book itself, but I actually got irritated by the characters to the point where I almost couldn’t finish the book. That’s a big deal for me, personally, because I have never not finished a book in my life intentionally.
But on to the characters, and what I think about them.
Midnight and Aidan are my least favorite characters by far. Their shallowness and stupidity left me speechless. They are incredibly superficial and seem to have no redeeming qualities. Aidan especially, as the ex-boyfriend of Tana, is probably supposed to be an alluring character, but he is the opposite. His smile is always “sly,” he seems to have no qualms morally, and is an all around jerk.
Tana, the protagonist, is only slightly better. She’s reckless to the point of silliness, because she flat out does not think before she acts. She even acknowledges, on Pg. 171 of this edition of the book, “This is exactly what’s wrong with me… If there’s trouble, I go straight for it.” I nearly smacked myself in the face. She knows there’s trouble, and she doesn’t approach it to be brave or sacrificial. She has nothing to gain at all and everything to lose, so it’s nothing like when a character is being reckless to save someone or gain something.
There’s nothing I hate more than a dumb character, and almost every decision Tana makes lacks caution and foresight. If this was a movie, it’d practically be a comedy because she is so clueless.
And then Tana completely changes. She transitions into someone who retains none of her former traits (except for the recklessness). There was just no character development with her, because it would go from point A to point B, and I would screech at Tana for doing something so out of character.
Gavriel is my favorite character, but that doesn’t mean much because I still don’t like him. He’s the only one of the cast who actually has a hint of mystery, and he’s the only one I would ever want to know more about. This is probably due to his backstory, and his deranged behavior. Unfortunately, the extent of his deranged behavior/manner of speaking is only likeable to a certain extent because you wish that someone could actually have an intelligent conversation with him.
[minor spoilers here]
The Romance:
Romance is not big in this novel. No insta-love whatsoever – I’m not even sure normal love exists in this novel. Gavriel might confess that he loves Tana at the end, but I didn’t find that believable in the least. She doesn’t reciprocate, so there’s nothing on that end, either.
Steam level was minimal. I can only remember about 3 scenes that seemed vaguely “romantic.” The first is a lustful kiss in which Tana risks her life, the second is bloody and not very compelling to read, and the last is almost sweet (although it’s in the last pages of the book). Kissing once is as far as it gets, really.
I don’t need romance, but I’m soft on it. It’s usually the part of the book where I’m the most generous, but this book only had the minimum construction of a “romance.” As in two people that have been in each other’s company for the span of the book, ending with a love confession. No chemistry, minimal buildup, and no character development in that time.
The reason this lack of a relationship bothered me so much was because the set up was there. Everything was there; the opportunities for a non-superficial or blood drinking interaction were plentiful. Black could have used the setup of the novel to at least enable a little bit of a pretense of a real romance, but it was ignored.
[end minor spoilers]
The Ending:
The ending was very short, but I liked it. Probably the best part of the book because it was appropriate for the story Black was writing. It fit. But I don’t think that I need to mention that it didn’t bring up even a hint of emotion for me.
Final Thoughts:
This book is definitely more gruesome than I would have expected. In Chapter 32, it spells out that “he took out his guts and knotted them around the bars of his cage,” “drove rusty nails into the soles of his feet,” etc. I knew there was going to be a lot of blood, but it was a bit underplayed in the marketing of this novel. As clarification, I’m not against horror, but horror done right is a world away from seemingly mindless gore in a YA fantasy romance. It’s not the amount of blood that makes you feel something – it’s the emotional structure, buildup, and execution of the scene.
I thought this book was going to be like a standalone version of twilight: romance-centric, with a love triangle with 2 likeable male leads, quick moving plot, and no unnecessary violence.
This book was pretty much the opposite.
It could have easily been cut down about 100 pages (or at the very least 50), because it dragged and dragged along. Yes, there were a few exciting scenes that made me sit up straighter, but you don’t judge a book by the scenes that are few and far between – you judge a book based on how it makes you feel, as a reader.
I simply could not handle these characters.
Something I liked?
I feel like I haven’t really seen this kind of classic vampire because, ironically, so many vampire writers today are trying to be more creative (and possibly less bloody). Black’s vampires are what I’d imagine the classic vampire to be: they burn in the sun, can be killed with a stake through the heart, they have elongated canines, and are unforgettably predators. As in unlikeable creatures that are neither sweet nor gentle, and view you as food.
I can see people liking this book, if they prefer (bloody) drama over love, friendship, sacrifice, and family. Because this book lacks all of those. The violence in this book, and everything about the endless parties in Coldtown really just tired me out.
If you were looking for a quicker, fluffy read to get you through a boring day, this isn’t it. Its drawn out length, unrelatable characters, and predictability would definitely make a boring day worse.
The romanticization of Coldtowns and being a vampire is beyond ridiculous. And the drooling characters that would do anything to become immortal blood drinkers are unbelievable. On top of that, I would never believe that these Coldtowns could exist in a modern world, where people live normally and party and go to school, and watch vampires party on their laptops.
In 3 words, this book is boring, nonsensical, and superficial.
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Kinda sad it came damaged but it doesn’t change the contents inside I guess
Reviewed in the United States on July 10, 2022
I love holly black kinda sad it came messed up but I’m super excited for this book
Reviewed in the United States on July 10, 2022
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