Perv: The Sexual Deviant in All of Us Hardcover – October 8, 2013

“Perv” is an examination of human sexuality outside the norm. As one might expect from the back blurb mention of a woman who was aroused by the Eiffel Tower, the book provides many a revelatory “things-that-make-one-go-HUH?” moment. The author’s humor--and willingness to offer cringe-worthy personal confessions--makes the book all the more readable. (e.g. As an example of the author’s humor: “As an adolescent male, you’re basically an ambulant sperm factory with an incompetent foreman…”) The book is in the vein of Mary Roach’s “Bonk” (something about sexuality triggers the urge to go monosyllabic), but Bering carves out his niche in deviant territory, while Roach’s book provides a more balanced look at the subject (although both books exploit anomalies to make for interesting reading.)

There are two ways in which this book wasn’t the one I expected, one of which is entirely my fault for reading too much into some words in the book blurb while ignoring others. I think the author and/or publisher must take some responsibility for the other as the subtitle itself leads one to expect a different emphasis in the book beyond the first chapter. First, I expected more insight into why people engage in these behaviors. Are there explanations rooted in our evolution? Does a given act result from some cross-wiring in the brain? There’s a cursory mention of science in the book’s description which led me to expect it to go much further beyond a cataloguing of anomalous sexual behavior. To be fair, the author does back load an interesting discussion on the role of theory of the mind into the last chapter and there is some of this discussion throughout. However, the book spends much more time on history and semantics than I expected. Semantics sounds boring, but there are some fascinating insights into how words came to be used, and how usages have changed over time. (Also, the reader may be surprised at the huge vocabulary of “-philias” [objects of love / attraction] that’s not unlike the more well-known one for “-phobias” [fears.])

The second way this wasn’t the book I expected was that—owing to the subtitle “the sexual deviant in all of us”—I expected much more discussion of widespread but unconventional sexual proclivities (e.g. exhibitionism, voyeurism, dominance / submission, roleplay.) Instead, Bering spends a lot of time discussing rare fetishes for materials, animals, objects, etc, and also extremely high-profile (but also rare) proclivities such as pedophilia and vovarephilia (cannibalistic arousal.) One can see the appeal from the book selling perspective. Said emphasis provides a lot of WTF and giggle-inducing moments to keep up the reader’s interest. However, if you’re expecting drilling down into [no double entendre intended] why people engage in these activities, mostly you’ll get playful variants on “the heart wants what the heart wants” and not so much insight into whether there are unseen Darwinian mechanisms at work or whether there’s some synaptic cross-wiring. I doubt this is a conscious attempt to avoid dealing with the un-PC ramifications of finding some deviant behaviors to be explicable in terms of brains that are operating within expected parameters while others may only be explained in terms of something not working as usual. I doubt this because Bering seems quite willing to take the book in uncomfortable directions. I’m not certain that there’s not an unconscious bias away from considering the “why” questions because it risks putting one in the cross-hairs even if one reports in an objective and non-judgmental way. (Perhaps there’s a lack of scientific findings to report for the same reason.)

Still, while I didn’t get the book that I expected, there were some surprising bonuses to weigh into the mix. Bering provides interesting food-for-thought on a few topics. One of these is what he calls the “naturalistic fallacy,” which is the idea that whether an activity can be considered acceptable depends upon whether one sees it elsewhere in nature (i.e. besides humanity.) This has been used over the years to divide acceptable from unacceptable “perversions”—often by people who had little to no idea what activities are or aren’t seen across the animal kingdom. (We do, after all, see monkeys literally throwing their poop.) Another challenging area of consideration is whether society’s extreme distaste for pedophilia leads us to write laws that actually exacerbate child abuse and exploitation (e.g. completely CGI [computer generated imagery] pornographic material is illegal, and—according to the author—there is reason to believe that--were it not—exploitation of children would decline.)

The book consists of seven chapters. An introductory chapter sets up the idea of sexual deviance and its changing definitions. Chapter 2 is about the many ways in which people manage to overcome their instincts toward disgust in order to engage in sexual activities. Chapter 3 looks at various forms of hypersexuality (e.g. nymphomania) and the changing definitions over time—and the biases contained therein (i.e. it was once thought to be a condition only females could experience.) Chapter 4 considers various paraphilias—i.e. unconventional sources of arousal. Chapter 5 deals with the subjective experience of many of these sexual behaviors and how that brushes up against societal norms. Chapter 6 delves into the topic of age and attraction discussing pedophilia, hebephilia, ephebophilia, teleiophilia, and gerontophilia. Of these, the vast majority of people are teleiophilics (attracted to full-grown adults) with hebephilic and ephebophilic tendencies not being uncommon (i.e. attraction to pubescent or post-pubescent youths.) Much of the discussion is about pedophilia and the legal entanglement of pedophilia and ephebophilia. Chapter 7 delves into the science and psychology in a way that I wished the rest of the book had.

There are no graphics in the book. It does have both chapter end-notes and bibliographic notes (the former being more foot-note like elaborations and the latter being mostly sources.)

I found this book interesting. It was more historical and semantic (dealing in the terminology of deviant sexuality and its changing nature over time) and less scientific and psychological than I expected, but it was still loaded with interesting information and insights. I’d recommend this book with the provisos mentioned, i.e. that it might not be the book you expect and may deal much more in rare proclivities than one expects.

Perv: The Sexual Deviant In All of Us by Jesse Bering

"Perv: The Sexual Deviant In All of Us" is the uncomfortable, relentless, fearless look into the not-so-uncommon devious world of human sexuality. Dr. Jesse Bering is on a courageous quest to expose the full spectrum of erotic manifestations. The fascinating topic is equaled only by Bering's innate ability to use scientific research into a narrative that provokes, shocks and ultimately educates. This entertaining 289-page book includes the following seven chapters: 1. We're All Perverts, 2. Damn Dirty Apes, 3. Sister Nymph and Brother Satyr, 4. Cupid the Psychopath, 5. It's Subjective, My Dear, 6. A Suitable Age, and 7. Life Lessons for the Lewd and Lascivious.

Positives:
1. A very engaging writing style that relies on good research, sound science and humor. Refreshingly open resulting from years of having to live in fear for no other reason other than being.
2. The fascinating yet surprisingly neglected topic of human sexuality in the fearless hands of one Dr. Jesse Bering. Sexual perversions...oh my.
3. This book in many respects is a plea to stop judging people's sexual preferences on what is considered normal and instead on what is considered harmful. It's a book in defense of "erotic outliers".
4. Making clear what you are going to get out of this book besides being thoroughly entertained, "What you're going to discover along the way is that you have a lot more in common with the average pervert than you may be aware. I'll be sharing with you a blossoming new science of human sexuality, one that's revealing how "sexual deviancy" is in fact far less deviant than most of us assume."
5. The origin and evolution of the word perversion...who knew? I'm not going to spoil it for you, you perv.
6. Dr. Bering provides much insight into what it's like to be gay in his own unique way. The education is appreciated. "For almost a hundred years to follow, psychiatrists saw gays and lesbians as quite obviously mentally ill."
7. Don't let the humor and self deprecation fool you...this book is surprisingly deep. "We've become so focused as a society on the question of whether a given sexual behavior is evolutionarily "natural" or "unnatural" that we've lost sight of the more important question: Is it harmful?"
8. Interesting scientific research, "Research on the "white bear effect" by the social psychologist Daniel Wegner has shown, for instance, that forcing a person to suppress specific thoughts leads to those very thoughts invading the subject's consciousness even more than they otherwise would."
9. Some of the stories will just blow you away! Fascinating, disgusting..."You've heard of the witch hunts in Salem, but I'm guessing you're not as familiar with the pig-man hunts of New Haven." Oh and wait until you find out the origins of the word "prodigy". Oh my science! So much more...
10. The problem of sexual harm. Dr. Bering is very careful to distinguish what is an allowable form of sexual perversions and what is harmful. "One reason it's so difficult for us to exercise our mental faculties in a proper way when it comes to the subject of deviant sex, instead being ruled by emotional reactions that fail to give accurate weight to the question of harm, is what we might call "the disgust factor."
11. The correlation between podophilia and social diseases. Interesting, find out what psychologist Giannini had to say about this.
12. Good use of science to make points and honestly where would we be without evolution? "This overall pattern of findings makes some sense in evolutionary terms. When the system works smoothly, sexual arousal can serve to anesthetize the otherwise adaptive disgust response long enough for people to get on with the Darwinian business of reproduction."
13. Cultural differences as they relate to human sexuality. Find out about the shocking ritual of the Sambia of Papua New Guinea. "Very little is universal when it comes to human sexuality."
14. Misogyny rears its ugly head. "When we hear the phrase "female genital mutilation," our thoughts usually sail over to Africa, but the practice of eliminating a woman's capacity for sexual pleasure by removing critical parts of her anatomy has a distinctively Western history, too."
15. Everything you wanted to know about paraphilia. "It was Stekel who coined the term "paraphilia." The first part of the word, para-, is Greek for "other" or "outside of," and -philia translates roughly to "loving.""
16. Example after example of paraphilia...from the strange to the oh my science! "The cause of melissaphilia, and of every other paraphilia, indeed exists, but how to establish that cause ethically is the bane of every science-minded sexologist."
17. Defining illnesses. "The basic rule is this: no matter how deviant your deviant desires, if you're not hurting anyone (or anything), and if your sexuality isn't causing you personal distress, then you don't meet the criteria for a mental illness connected to your paraphilia."
18. The differences between the sexes. "Once a man's sexual tastes emerge, they are less susceptible to change or adaptation than a woman's." "Again, a woman's genitals can be in stark disagreement with her desires."
19. An interesting look at age-of-consent laws.
20. One of the most important themes of the book, "Morally, all that matters--and allow me to reiterate that because I feel it's quite important, all that matters--is whether a person's sexual deviancy is demonstrably harmful."
21. Notes included.

Negatives:
1. This book is not for the prudish. It is guaranteed to disgust and make you uncomfortable, there is no way around this. Certain topics are in fact very difficult to get through.
2. This is not so much a negative on the book but on the lack of scientific research on human sexuality. We need more scientific research on human sexuality!
3. Notes included were helpful but a separate formal bibliography would have added value.
4. With so many terms a glossary of at the very least of all the paraphilias presented in the book would have been appreciated.
5. Provocative title but I fear it's going to repel those who need to read this book the most. Oh well their loss!
6. A few cheap shots...in all honesty Santorum had that coming.

In summary, I need a shower! Kudos to Dr. Bering for having the courage to write such an interesting and fearless book on topics considered uncomfortable to say the least. Human sexuality is such a neglected area in science in large part because of lack of sexual ethics and a morality grounded in scientific facts. We need more research and books like this one to help the public gain a better understanding of human sexuality and hence improve society. I highly recommend this book!

Further suggestions: "Why Is the Penis Shaped Like That?: And Other Reflections on Being Human" and "The Belief Instinct: The Psychology of Souls, Destiny, and the Meaning of Life" by the same author, "Sex and Punishment: Four Thousand Years of Judging Desire" by Eric Berkowitz, "Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships" by Christopher Ryan, "The Sexual History of London: From Roman Londinium to the Swinging City---Lust, Vice, and Desire Across the Ages" by Catharine Arnold, "Sex & God: How Religion Distorts Sexuality" by Darrel Ray, "Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex" by Mary Roach, "This Is Your Brain on Sex: The Science Behind the Search for Love" by Kayt Sukel, "Vagina: A New Biography" by Naomi Wolf, "Hardwired Behavior: What Neuroscience Reveals about Morality" by Laurence Tancredi, "Braintrust: What Neuroscience Tells Us about Morality" by Patricia S. Churchland, and "The Science of Love" by Robin Dunbar.