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The Awakened Family: How to Raise Empowered, Resilient, and Conscious Children Paperback – May 30, 2017

by Shefali Tsabary Ph.D. (Author)

222 customer reviews

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FINALIST FOR THE BOOKS FOR A BETTER LIFE AWARD • NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

"Parents . . . you will be wowed and awed by [Dr. Shefali]." —Oprah Winfrey

As seen on Oprah’s SuperSoul Sunday, a radically transformative plan that shows parents how to raise children to be their best, truest selves, from the New York Times bestselling author of The Conscious Parent.

What if...?

What if I told you that you can put an end to all of your parenting struggles?

That you can learn to parent without fear or anxiety?

That you can end conflict with your children?

That you can create close and connected relationships within your family?

…Would you accept this invitation to a revolution in parenting?

We all have the capacity to raise children who are highly resilient and emotionally connected. However, many of us are unable to because we are blinded by modern misconceptions of parenting and our own inner limitations. In The Awakened Family, I show you how you can cultivate a relationship with your children so they can thrive; moreover, you can be transformed to a state of greater calm, compassion and wisdom as well.

This book will take you on a journey to transcending your fears and illusions around parenting and help you become the parent you always wanted to be: fully present and conscious. It will arm you with practical, hands-on strategies and real-life examples from my experience as a parent and clinical psychologist that show the extraordinary power of being a conscious parent.

Everyone in your family is ready to be awakened.

Will you take this journey with me?

—Shefali

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Editorial Reviews

Review

Praise for The Awakened Family

"Stop struggling, parents. Here is the key to relaxing into your family and into your parenting. . . . [Tsabary] has a new book releasing us all from the stresses of 'making' the perfect child." —The Washington Post

"I want to give this book to everyone I know who is a parent, a grandparent, a child, a grown-up child . . . everyone. It's not only a primer for the kind of family life we all long for, it's also a guide to being human—to living with more ease, more love, more joy." —Elizabeth Lesser, cofounder of Omega Institute and author of Broken Open and Marrow

"Shefali Tsabary shines the light of wisdom on the most enlightened aspect of parenting: discovering a child's individual personhood and purpose, and nurturing the path to its fulfillment." —Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Life Visioning

"Best-selling author and speaker Tsabary combines the spirit of Thich Nhat Hahn’s 1975 classic, Miracle of Mindfulness, with an intensive family therapy session—and the result is a transforming read for any parent." —Booklist, starred review

"Useful and encouraging . . . Tsabary’s message is an antidote to recent trends such as for 'helicopter parenting,' teaching respect for children as people in their own right and urging parents to let them thrive." —Publishers Weekly, starred review

"I loved The Awakened Family . . . [Tsabary] explains why we need to trust in our children's potential and argues that the best parenting lies in being quiet and open." —Bookpage

Praise for The Conscious Parent

"CALLING ALL PARENTS! I just read the most profound book on parenting I've ever encountered—The Conscious Parent. . . Parents . . . you will be wowed and awed by her." —Oprah Winfrey

"Shefali Tsabary's invaluable book shows how the challenges of parenting can become a great opportunity for spiritual awakening. Becoming a fully conscious parent is the greatest gift you can give to your child." —Eckhart Tolle, author of The Power of Now and A New Earth

"In this book, Dr. Shefali Tsabary describes the importance of compassion in simple, secular terms, discussing how we can learn to develop it from our relationship with our children." —His Holiness the Dalai Lama

"The Conscious Parent is a spiritual vision of how to care for a child's body and soul. This book is practical and full of love and hope for both parents and children." —Michael Gurian, author of The Wonder of Boys and The Wonder of Girls

About the Author

Shefali Tsabary, Ph.D., received her doctorate in clinical psychology from Columbia University. Specializing in the integration of Western psychology and Eastern philosophy, Dr. Shefali brings together the best of both worlds for her clients. She is an expert in family dynamics and personal development and runs a private practice in New York City. Dr. Shefali has written three books, including the award-winning New York Times bestselling book The Conscious Parent. Dr. Shefali is also a keynote speaker who has presented at TEDx, Kellogg Business School, the Dalai Lama Center for Peace and Education, and other conferences and workshops around the world. She's been featured on Oprah Winfrey's SuperSoul Sunday and Oprah's Lifeclass.

Paperback: 368 pages
Publisher: Penguin Books; Reprint edition (May 30, 2017)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0399563970
ISBN-13: 978-0399563973
Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.8 x 8.4 inches
Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 222 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #4,086 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #13 in Sociology of Marriage & Family (Books)
- #21 in Medical Child Psychology
- #29 in Popular Child Psychology

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DahliaRose

Best parenting book I've read

June 30, 2016

Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase

Best parenting book I've read. And I've read a lot of them. Over the past few years, I saw my once sweet, caring son turn into a teenaged monster. He's 16 now and I can count on one hand the number of stress free days we've had over the past year. I almost took out a 2nd mortgage on my house in order to afford to send him to a rehab program. Thank god I just spent $18 on a book instead. Now brace yourself for what I'm about to say, because it's not popular and it took me a minute to get on board with, too: more than likely, your kids problems are because of you. Yeah, I know. I've read so many books that talk about how to change your child's behavior. But guess what? I'm sure you've already tried to change them and it doesn't work, or perhaps gets you even more difficult behaviors. This book tells you how to change YOU. Indeed, it is the only way to help your child and ultimately help you. The past two weeks I have seen a remarkable change in my child, and it almost 100% came from me changing my behavior first. Dr. Tsabary explains this concept without passing lots of blame or shame (this is the opposite of a helpful approach, by the way), but helps you reconcile your own past hurts and issues, often from childhood and the way you were parented. So there, blame your parents for your child's behavior. ha. No really, there is no need for blame. Just for acceptance of yourself and your child right here, right now. And a willingness to admit that you are part of the problem, but even more that you can be the solution! Our kids need us to change for them. My favorite quote so far: "In simple, everyday ways, as well as more profound ones, our children are constantly saying to us, "Wake up, look at yourself, transform yourself. Do this for YOU, so that I may be free of what burdens you."" Beautiful. <3

198 people found this helpful

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Amy Shih

Absolute Best and Most Important Parenting Book There Is--You Will Be Transformed!

June 3, 2016

Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase

As a relationship therapist and parent, I can say that this is the absolute best and most important parenting book there is. Dr. Shefali boldly accomplishes what no other parenting book has been able to fully achieve. She addresses the many challenges that parents experience with their children--at the causal level. She gets to the root of problems. The author shows us that our children are never triggering us. Conversely, what is getting triggered are our past wounds. That in every moment there is always a choice to react or respond. When we move into reactivity, this is about our own hurt and fear. Dr. Shefali masterfully helps us see that our children are here to show us where we need to grow. She says children are our "awakeners." In the excerpt below, the author explains the parent-child dynamic:

"Our children are particularly effective mirrors, because although we can divorce our spouse and abandon our friends, our children are here to stay. It's in our relationship with them more than any other that we are challenged to examine those aspects of ourselves we would ordinarily deny or avoid. When we are able to look into the mirror they provide us with and address our issues, we not only clear the fog form our own vision, but also begin to see our children for who they truly are. In this way, we become a reflection of their authentic self."

We are asked to consider questions like, "`Is my child in some way reflecting the way I tend to operate?'" With numerous examples, we are shown that the cost of addressing behavioral problems at the effect level is increased negative behavior. Through the author's profound insights and plethora of real-life examples, it becomes clear that our own fear, which stems from past conditionings, paralyzes us by keeping us from knowing how to connect with our children. That real change can only happen when we have heightened awareness or become conscious of our own behavioral patterns. This means noticing our thoughts and feelings and exploring our belief systems. When reading this book, you feel like the author takes you on an intimate journey of awakenings and opens your heart to a whole new way of seeing your essential role as a parent. The authors ideas are truly revolutionary and liberating. You are able to see and experience a real path to having stronger, deeper connections in all your relationships.

In The Awakened Family, the author explains that we need to give up our expectations of how we would like things to be and to accept whatever enters the present moment. In the following passage, the author helps us to understand what acceptance means:

"Acceptance of the present moment doesn't mean you are passive or resigned to things. It simply means that the sting of the emotional charge is taken out of the situation. Sure, you can correct your child and even assertively create boundaries if these are needed, but the entire exchange is executed without adding in the emotional charge of fear, panic, shame, or guilt."

We are able to see that only when we learn how to "be" can we know what doing action, if any, is needed.

Dr. Shefali so eloquently explains our responsibility as parents when she says, "It's our sacred responsibility as parents to remember that within every child is a deep desire to be seen, heard, and understood. Indeed, a child's deepest yearning is to know the answer to the question, "`Am I good, am I okay, am I worthy?'" When we are willing to open our heart to the author's message, we can only experience its resounding truth.

Conscious parenting has personally transformed me and the way I parent my son. This is not a quick-fix philosophy; it is a way of living, finding more peace and joy in your life.

Every parent, therapist, parenting coach, and educator should read this book and keep it close by for reference. With the brilliant insights that Dr. Shefali provides in her latest book, we can all become more awakened and join a growing consciousness that has the power to heal our world.

101 people found this helpful

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Brittany A. Schumann

A must-read for parents who want to know better and do better

August 18, 2018

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

I have read a number of parenting books but holy cow none of them have resonated with my core as much as this book has. Growing up, I constantly battled my desire to just be myself. I don’t want to be a contributor to my children ever feeling that way. This book explains why it’s so important to let our children be their authentic selves, and in turn, allow us as parents to be our authentic selves. I am reading this book incredibly slowly, re-reading almost every section to let it all sink in. If you are struggling with the idea of raising your child according to society’s expectations, this book is perfect for you.

11 people found this helpful

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kristendo

Lean In And Learn

February 20, 2018

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

This spoke to my soul and mind. It addresses a desperatiom I’ve felt since my daughter grew out of toddlerhood. I’ve perceived a duality in myself that the author ascribed to the “ego” taking over. One side longing for connection with my child and the other seeking control. It’s the first time anyone has been able to put that struggle into words. It was easier to enjoy authentic connection when my daughter was still a baby; but growing up makes things personal and emotional really fast. Where I once felt confident and just what my daughter needed, I turned paralyzed with fear because of my emotional immaturity.

This book invites you to lean into those weaknesses and insecurities and abandon the shame you carry from imperfection. It is incredibly inspiring to view yourself as you truly are, and to see your child as a catalyst for the change you desire most.

27 people found this helpful

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mariana

Please don't!!!!!!!!!

January 23, 2019

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

I purchased this book because it was recommended by a few people I respect.......what a fantastic mistake!!!! With each page I go angrier and angrier...are you kidding meee?????? There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong about any child or teen behaviour....it is 100% on the parents????? What kind of kids are we going to raise????? Other than that I really dislike how she paint all her clients as useless self absorbed ignorant parents and how she always enlightens them on how wonderfully she is reaising her own child.....talk about pressure on that child to be perfectly balanced when she grows up. Anyway, I do not agree with being a tiger mom and reading "How to raise a champion" but this is the complete opposite and is also not good.

5 people found this helpful

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