I began working in branch sales for a Fortune 500 company in 2002 and met our division VP in 2003. He brought me on the National Account team and constantly flattered me and my sales performance. It worked. I sold $4 million dollars in new business when the company only projected a $1 million in new growth. I attributed my success to his being a "good boss" rather than my 14-hour work days. Then he promised me a promotion if I moved to our corporate headquarters in Memphis. I moved and soon after he told me he was in love with me, his wife was horrible to him and he couldn't work with me if I didn't return his feelings. What do you do when you're young, naive and your mentor and hero says this to you? If you're an empathetic person like me you try to save them because you think they saved you by giving you a career (what college graduate doesn't want to show their parents that?). Our (fake) love story lasted 10 years and it didn't end in the happy marriage and home life he promised, it ended with him draining me of all my money due to his alleged $150K debt from ID theft, abandoning me with his sick mother in Boston for a VP job in Torrance and beach front apartment in Palos Verdes and then he told police I stole money from his mother when she gave me money as her caregiver to buy her food and medicine and pay her bills while he was away. How did I feel after he destroyed my life? Not angry. Instead, I felt dazed or blamed myself. Why did he have me arrested when he dumped his responsibilities on me and I was only trying to help? What did I do wrong to make him stop loving me? How could he want sex on Friday (fortunately I was too tired after spending two months on renovations he ordered on his mother's house while he was away), dump me on Saturday (an hour after the final walk through with the contractors), scream at me on Sunday he's going to see to it I rot in prison for larceny, and then have me arrested on Monday, catch a plane back to CA for work, tell my crying mother he doesn't have to listen to her sh*t and that night goes on Facebook and likes football photos of my nephews on my brother's page? Furthermore, since my parents foiled his plans to see me rot in prison, he got a restraining order against me so I can't collect my pets, furniture, clothes and personal property for 6 months. Because the judge issued a no contact order with his mother, he left my little dogs with her so I can't call her to ask how they are doing or arrange a pick-up. I am amazed how well he knows how to use the law to continue to hurt me. I never knew justice could be perverted. That's what the soulless do. Fortunately, my parents got me out of jail after 17 days (I've only been before a judge for a speeding ticket so that should tell how good of a storyteller these psychopaths are) and took their suicidal daughter (who suffered a miscarriage her 3rd day in jail) home and immediately got me into counseling. I cried everyday for 3 months and when I broke down and called him he yelled at me how I ruined his life because he has to quit his job and go back to Boston to take care of his mother. That was it. I was a non-person to him. I couldn't understand how this was the same man who love bombed me in 2003 and told me for years he would hunt me down and kill me if I ever left him. I couldn't believe this was the real him. Through therapy I came to understand words like narcissist, sociopath and psychopath. I didn't want to believe he was one but then again the behaviors they engage in was like checklist on our relationship. I couldn't ignore the obvious. It was time to get educated. So far this is my favorite book on the subject. It discusses the psychopath but it also discusses the good hearts of their targets and how what feels like weakness because love is used against the victim it is actually our greatest strength towards recovery and finding the real love we want and deserve. I had to see the ugliness to understand what (TF?!) happened to me but I needed hope too and I think this book offers that. I also recommend yoga as part of this healing process. I'm doing it everyday and yes, my body is as weak (he hated it when I went to the gym because he'd accuse me of flirting with other men so I stopped going to please him instead of seeing how he was erasing my ID) as my spirit feels but being patient with my body as it gets stronger teaches me to be patient with my spirit too. Self care is so important in the recovery stage. Many people who love me want me to hurry up and heal and move on because they hate seeing me hurt but what it does is make me feel guilty because I can't. What my body teaches me is strength takes practice and time and that makes me feel okay that the spirit does do. This whole process hurts like hell and you will be a mess afterwards but this book is like a friend who gets it and walks you through the process. I highly recommend it.
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The best book for me
This is the best book that I've read in my life. As a victim of a psychopath I was desperately searching for answers... This book described my personal experience almost with 100% of accuracy. As if the author wrote my own story. Unbelievable.
Top reviews from other countries
- CarolynnReviewed in Canada on August 9, 2023
This book helps you understand what you are going through and provides validation.
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Claudia Edith Lopez GaliciaReviewed in Mexico on February 3, 2021
Claro y fácil de entender
