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Sloppy Firsts (Jessica Darling, Book 1) Paperback – August 28, 2001

by Megan McCafferty (Author)

617 ratings

Book 1 of 5: Jessica Darling

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The first book in the New York Times bestselling Jessica Darling series

When her best friend, Hope Weaver, moves away from Pineville, New Jersey, hyperobservant sixteen-year-old Jessica Darling is devastated. A fish out of water at school and a stranger at home, Jessica feels more lost than ever now that the only person with whom she could really communicate has gone. How is she supposed to deal with the boy- and shopping-crazy girls at school, her dad’s obsession with her track meets, her mother salivating over big sister Bethany’s lavish wedding, and her nonexistent love life?

A fresh, funny, utterly compelling novel, Sloppy Firsts is an insightful, true-to-life look at Jessica’s predicament as she embarks on another year of teenage torment. From the dark days of Hope’s departure through her months as a type-A personality turned insomniac to her completely mixed-up feelings about Marcus Flutie, the intelligent and mysterious “Dreg” who works his way into her heart, this poignant, hilarious novel is sure to appeal to readers who are still going through it, as well as those who are grateful that they don’t have to go back and grow up all over again.

“A hilarious trip down memory lane. You’ll laugh out loud–and cringe–as this first novel by McCafferty takes you back to the soap opera that was high school.”—Glamour

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Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

"My parents suck ass. Banning me from the phone and restricting my computer privileges are the most tyrannical parental gestures I can think of. Don't they realize that Hope's the only one who keeps me sane? . . . I don't see how things could get any worse."
When her best friend, Hope Weaver, moves away from Pineville, New Jersey, hyperobservant sixteen-year-old Jessica Darling is devastated. A fish out of water at school and a stranger at home, Jessica feels more lost than ever now that the only person with whom she could really communicate has gone. How is she supposed to deal with the boy- and shopping-crazy girls at school, her dad's obsession with her track meets, her mother salivating over big sister Bethany's lavish wedding, and her nonexistent love life?
A fresh, funny, utterly compelling fiction debut by first-time novelist Megan McCafferty, Sloppy Firsts is an insightful, true-to-life look at Jessica's predicament as she embarks on another year of teenage torment--from the dark days of Hope's departure through her months as a type-A personality turned insomniac to her completely mixed-up feelings about Marcus Flutie, the intelligent and mysterious "Dreg" who works his way into her heart. Like a John Hughes for the twenty-first century, Megan McCafferty taps into the inherent humor and drama of the teen experience. This poignant, hilarious novel is sure to appeal to readers who are still going through it, as well as those who are grateful that they don't have to go back and grow up all over again.

From the Back Cover

“Such a sharp, funny, poignant heroine, with an inner world we can all relate to. I love it.” —Sophie Kinsella, author of Confessions of a Shopaholic

“Sloppy Firsts captures, in spare, truthful prose, the exquisite pain and ecstasy of being besotted by your best friend. The reader may flinch, but Megan McCafferty never does.”
—Emma Forrest, author of Namedropper

“Sloppy Firsts is a spirited, down-the-rabbit-hole adventure in the madcap subculture of high school. With remarkable insight, tenderness, and wit, Megan McCafferty offers us a compassionate, clear-eyed tale of how a sassy young woman survives teenage-hood.”
—Laurie Fox, author of My Sister from the Black Lagoon

“Sloppy Firsts perfectly captures the turbulent roller-coaster ride that is being a teenager. This is an (at times) intimate, painfully honest peek at a girl’s coming of age. Getting to know Jessica was like meeting a new best friend. I miss her already.”
—Atoosa Rubenstein, editor in chief of CosmoGirl!

About the Author

Megan McCafferty is a New York Times bestselling author of several novels. Best known for her Jessica Darling series, she was senior articles editor at Cosmopolitan and has written for Glamour, CosmoGirl!, YM, Maxim, Details, and other top magazines. She also wrote an ongoing serial from Hope’s point of view on twistmagazine.com. She lives in New Jersey.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Tonight I've been thinking about the mosaic Hope gave me the night she U-hauled ass out of Pineville. I wasn't supposed to open it until my birthday, but I couldn't wait. I tore off the wrapping paper and finally had an explanation for the mysterious slivers of shredded magazine pages all over her carpet. For months, Hope had been tearing out pictures of school buses and pumpkins to capture the color of her curls. Hershey bars and beer bottles for my bob.

I hung it on the wall next to my bed. I've been staring at it, trying to figure out how she glued all those tiny pieces of paper so they would come together to re-create my favorite photo: Hope and me at four a.m.-wide awake and laughing, waiting to sneak out to watch the sunrise.

I remember that summer sleepover at Hope's house two and a half years ago more vividly than anything I did today.

We watched the video of her Little Miss Superstar dance recital. She was the most coordinated of the dozen or so yellowbikini-clad four-year-olds shuffle-ball-changing to a Beach Boys medley. (Hope's review: Hello, JonBenèt Ramsey!)

We tried to outdo each other in round after round of "What Would You Do?" Eat nothing but fish sticks OR wear head-to-toe *NSYNC paraphernalia for the rest of your life? French kiss your dog, Dali?, OR have sex with the Chaka, the Special Ed. King? Be zit free forever OR fill a D-cup bra?

We flipped through our eighth-grade yearbook and decided that being voted Class Brainiac (me) and Class Artist (her) just about guaranteed geekdom in high school. We thought that Brainiac Who Will Actually Make Something of Her Life and Not End Up Managing a 7-Eleven and Artist Who Will Contribute More to This World Than Misspelled Graffiti sounded so much better. Then we literally rolled on the rug laughing as we stripped other Class Characters of their titles and gave them what they really deserved . . .

Scotty Glazer: from Most Athletic to Most Middle-Aged Yet Totally Immature

Bridget Milhokovich: from Best Looking to Best Bet She'll Peak Too Soon

Manda Powers: from Biggest Flirt to Most Likely to End Up on Jerry Springer

Sara D'Abruzzi: from Class Motormouth to Future Double Agent Who Would Betray Her Country for Liposuction.

Mrs. Weaver made German pancakes with lemon juice and confectioners' sugar for breakfast. Hope's then-sixteen-year-old brother, Heath, snorted the powdery sugar up his nose and imitated some crazy seventies comedian all hopped up on coke. This made me laugh so hard I thought my stomach was going to come out my ears. I felt bad when Hope later explained to me why she and her mom weren't so amused by his antics. And when Heath died of a heroin overdose six months ago, I felt even worse.

My brother would've been in the same grade as Heath. Hope and I always thought that was a really freaky coincidence. I never knew him, though. Matthew Michael Darling died when he was only two weeks old. Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. No one in my family talks about him. Ever.

Mr. and Mrs. Weaver made countless excuses for the sudden move back to their tiny hometown (Wellgoode, Tennessee: Population 6,345, uh, make that 6,348). They had to get Hope down there in time to start the third marking period. They had to move in with Hope's grandmother so they could afford to pay for college. But Hope and I saw through the lies. We knew the truth-even if we never said it out loud. The Weavers wanted to get Hope out of Pineville, New Jersey (pop. 32,000, give or take three people), so she wouldn't end up like her brother. Dead at eighteen.

Now I-I mean, we, Hope and me-have to pay for his mistakes. It's not fair. I know this may sound a little selfish, but couldn't they have waited another seventeen days? Couldn't they have waited until after my birthday?

I told my parents not to even dare throwing me a Sweet Sixteen party. The very thought of ice-cream cake and pink crepe paper makes me want to hurl. Not to mention the fact that I can't even imagine who would be on the guest list since I hate all my other friends. I know my parents think I'm being ridiculous. But if the one person I want to be there can't be there, I'd rather just stay home. And mope. Or sleep.

Besides, I have never been sweet. Maybe not never, but definitely not after the age of three. That's when my baby blond hair suddenly darkened-and my attitude went with it. (Which is why my dad's nickname for me is "Notso" as in, Jessica Not-So-Darling.) Whenever anyone tried to talk to me I'd yell BOR-ING and run away. I probably picked it up from my sister, Bethany, who was fourteen at the time and spent hours in front of the mirror rolling her eyes and practicing pissy looks to advertise her so-called angst. Of course, the difference between Bethany and me is that I've never had to practice.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Broadway Books; First Edition (August 28, 2001)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 297 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0609807900
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0609807903
Reading age ‏ : ‎ 14 years and up
Lexile measure ‏ : ‎ 790L
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 11.8 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6.1 x 0.65 x 9.2 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #1,958,025 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #13,701 in Humorous Fiction
- #16,038 in Coming of Age Fiction (Books)
- #21,473 in Contemporary Literature & Fiction

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617 ratings

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Megan McCafferty

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Megan McCafferty is working on a series of middle-grade prequels to the bestselling Jessica Darling novels. JESSICA DARLING'S IT LIST: THE (TOTALLY NOT) GUARANTEED GUIDE TO POPULARITY, PRETTINESS & PERFECTION and JESSICA DARLING'S IT LIST 2: THE (TOTALLY) NOT) GUARANTEED GUIDE TO FRIENDS, FOES & FAUX FRIENDS are available now. The third book in the series goes on sale in June 2015.

The original Jessica Darling novel, sloppy firsts (2001), was ALA Top 10 Quick Pick for Reluctant Readers, an ALA Popular Paperback, and a New York Public Library Book for the Teen Age. Its sequel, second helpings (2003) was also selected to the NYPL list, and was a Booklist Editor's Pick for one of the best novels of 2003. charmed thirds (2006) was an instant New York Times bestseller and a NYPL pick. fourth comings (2007) and perfect fifths (2009) also made the New York Times, USA Today, Publisher's Weekly, Booksense, Barnes and Noble, Borders and other national bestseller lists.

BUMPED and THUMPED were published in 2011-12 and described in Publisher's Weekly as "sharply funny and provocative...set in a world where only teens are able to have babies, and are contracted by adults to carry them to term." Megan also edited a short story anthology called SIXTEEN: Stories About That Sweet and Bitter Birthday (2004).

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617 global ratings

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Customers find the book fun and entertaining, with one review noting its many unexpected twists. The writing quality is good, and customers particularly appreciate Jessica's voice. However, the plot receives mixed reactions, and character development is also mixed, with one review mentioning poorly crafted ancillary characters. Customers disagree on the book's age appropriateness.

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Readability Humor Voice Writing quality Plot Character development Age

29 customers mention "Readability"27 positive2 negative

Customers find the book readable and enjoyable, describing it as a fun read and one of their favorite books in the series.

"...All in all I just LOVED the book!!..." Read more

"...looking for novels set in the early 90s, and based on that great read I found this series...." Read more

"...The first book has lulls at times, and the second book is the absolute best...." Read more

"...But it wasn't really like that. It was so much fun to read! I was exited when I had to sit down and open the pages of this book...." Read more

18 customers mention "Humor"18 positive0 negative

Customers find the book humorous, describing it as thigh-slappingly funny and fun to read.

"...Along with funny Real World tidbits like Ruthie being an alkie! (Do you remember that one?) All in all I just LOVED the book!!..." Read more

"...The voice was filled with sardonic poetry and wisdom and wit and charm, and she sounded older than she really was, even if her body had the..." Read more

"...is at times poignent, at times touching, and at times downright thigh-slappingly funny...." Read more

"...Jessica, who is incredibly smart and witty, often has you laughing at the situations she gets herself into, often when it comes to her relationships..." Read more

5 customers mention "Voice"5 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate Jessica's voice in the book, with one customer noting it's told through diary entries.

"...She's a teenager! I loved every second of it! The book is told in Jessica's diary entries, so you get a completely uncensored look at her day to day..." Read more

"...You get to really connect and understand Jessica and you just want to help her out, or at least, keep reading what's going on with her...." Read more

"It’s told in first person by Jessica. Most of it is like writing in her diary. It’s about predictable things in High School with different cliques...." Read more

"...This book just kept me turning the pages. I love Jessica Darling's voice, Marcus Flutie, etc. This has been one of my all-time favorites!..." Read more

4 customers mention "Writing quality"4 positive0 negative

Customers praise the writing quality of the book, with one noting its fast-paced style.

"...Written journal style, peppered with vocabulary no High School sophomore on the planet would ever use (iconoclast, jingoism), and punctuated by..." Read more

"...Overall I found her take on the world quite entertaining. The writing is fast-paced, crisp, and funny...." Read more

"...I felt the writing is quite good and I will likely read the second book, want to guess the title?..." Read more

"...The plot is amusing and the writing tight. Probably not worth $10, however." Read more

9 customers mention "Plot"5 positive4 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the plot of the book, with some finding it engaging with unexpected twists, while others find it unoriginal.

"...One more note on "Firsts" - it has one of the more unique climaxes that I have ever read...." Read more

"...There was a silly plot point included, that of a new friend who appears then disappears only to resurface later in a shocking way which I felt was..." Read more

"...It picks up though after a while and the end keeps you guessing...." Read more

"This story is not unique. I can be Jessica Darling. You can be Jessica Darling...." Read more

7 customers mention "Character development"4 positive3 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the character development in the book, with some finding them likeable and realistic, while others note issues with poorly crafted ancillary characters and a lack of dialogue between them.

"...In Jessica Darling, McCafferty created a likeable realistic character, including the arrogance and persecution complex of the young...." Read more

"...The ancillary characters are also poorly crafted. Even the shamelessly unrealistic Gossip Girl series manages to be more realistic than this...." Read more

"...And maybe the greatest male YA character of all time." Read more

"...jessica darling is one of the most fascinating and hilarious characters ever put in print." Read more

3 customers mention "Age"0 positive3 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the book's age, with one customer finding it too young and another noting it's starting to show its age.

"While this novel was enjoyable, it is starting to show its age...." Read more

"I'm 32 and this seems a little young, I couldn't get into it. I guess I should have paid more attention to the target audience age." Read more

"I am definitely too old for this book." Read more

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Backyard Bird
I am in LOVE!!
Reviewed in the United States on April 8, 2011
Verified Purchase

Why, why WHY! Did I not read this book in 2001 when it was released!? I was 15 then and I would have absolutely worshiped Jessica Darling! I would've wanted to follow in all of her footsteps, even the mortifying ones. I would have wished that Jessica were real so she could be my best friend! Even now, at 24, I kinda worship her.

She is completely misunderstood by most of her peers. She's full of angst and snarky opinions. She's depressed, angry and lonely. She's a teenager! I loved every second of it! The book is told in Jessica's diary entries, so you get a completely uncensored look at her day to day life. She has a love hate relationship with everyone, including herself. Her cynical outlook on the world was something I connected to right away! And her observations and opinions will have you laughing nonstop!

This was a very fast read. Once I got used to Jessica's voice, I was unable to put the book down. I had to know what completely insane things she was going to do next, and once Marcus Flutie was introduced I couldn't get enough. Marcus Flutie is the complete opposite of Jessica. He's the ultimate bad boy...turned good guy. The tension between the two had me shouting inappropriate things like "JUST DO IT!!!" at the book. I was just a tiny bit obsessed with Marcus, just like Jessica, and I NEED to live vicariously through her...

One other thing I LOVED about the book is that it takes place in 2000. Jessica is just a couple of years older than me, so all the pop culture things that are mentioned are things from my teenagedom too!! I was just a tad bit obsessed with BSB back in the day and they are mentioned a lot! Along with funny Real World tidbits like Ruthie being an alkie! (Do you remember that one?)

All in all I just LOVED the book!! So much so that when I finished it I started reading Second Helpings right after, even though I had a ton of review books to read! So, READ THIS SERIES! But be warned it is highly addictive!

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Welcome Back
Reviewed in the United States on August 10, 2007
Verified Purchase
As Charles Dickens once very aptly obsevered: "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." Of course Dickens wasn't referring to high school, but the French Revolution. But today, in our current American society his words can be no closer to the truth when discussing the legally mandated ritual called high school.

Everyone has his or her story. From the glory days full of football games, after-hour parties, and social ruling to the lesser exuberant memories our being an outsider, not understanding anything going on around you, and the unfortunately bullyness. Yet despite the pangs of High School and the sometimes harsh memories that come along with it, it is a time in our lives that years removed somehow becomes glorified as "the best time of your life," wither that statement is true or not.

McCafferty has constructed an unlikely heroine who reminds us exactly why we hated high school so much... and exactly why we will probably always look back on it with fond memories of times pass. Jessica Darling is you. Jessica Darling is me. Jessica Darling is everyone. Whither you can relate to everything she says, or just a few of the experiences she goes through during these novels, there is a little bit of everything within our heroine.

Unlike the heroines of classic literature that defeat the sociality structures (Dicken's "A Tale of Two Cities"), learn the true meaning of love (a la Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice"), Jessica Darling's one true clam to fame is not only surviving high school, but figuring it out before she leaves the hallowed halls. Most people figure it out sooner or later, but usually when they are removed from the experience.

What McCafferty is trying to say to the audience at large is that life matters. Everything that has happened to you, is happing to you, and will happen you have an effect that you can never dream off. The point of life isn't just sitting back and waiting for the next step. But it is embracing the here and now.

McCafferty is able to do these through a narrative that reads more like a self-aware John Hughes script, rather than 95% of book one would find in their local "young adult fiction" section. And the true genius and charm of the book doesn't from Jessica's stories of high school. But through your own memories, that while reading this book you are able to relive again vicariously through the eyes of Jessica. This book was not written for the tween set as a way to drool over what those "magical four years" will be like (a la "Dawson's Creek"), but as a way for people past that experience to look back and realize just how much their high school years truly means.

I cannot recommend this book enough, especially to fans of the budding new genre of self-aware coming-of-age stories such as "Prep," "Boy meets Boy," and the "Rules of Attraction." In all honestly I must request that everyone in their post high-school years, but still young enough to remember the impact John Hughes has on society to order a copy of this book. You will not be disappointed in the least!

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Chuckles
Pretty fun read into the mind of a teen girl; ending weakened my rating
Reviewed in the United States on December 10, 2023
Verified Purchase
I found this while seeking, for my own writing, to read stories of young female protaganists by FEMALE authors after reading I Am Charlotte Simmons by Tom Wolfe and getting a sense of inauthenticity. I read The Mall, also by McCafferty as I was simultaneously looking for novels set in the early 90s, and based on that great read I found this series.

In Jessica Darling, McCafferty created a likeable realistic character, including the arrogance and persecution complex of the young. The plot points around these character traits I initially found annoying, with the protaganist Jessica appearing very arrogant and treated cruelly by her parents, until I came to understand she is a teenager and recalled myself at that age, and understood those were elements of her being an unreliable narrator. Its just how she saw things from her viewpoint. Once I got that, deep into the novel, I appreciated what I had already read and the rest of the story much better.

There was a silly plot point included, that of a new friend who appears then disappears only to resurface later in a shocking way which I felt was just a distraction to the rest of the story. It didn’t ruin the story I just felt it wasn’t needed and seemed too ripped from the headlines. The biggest weakness and the only miss for me was the ending. Not going to ruin it but it left too much hanging. I don’t know if that was McCafferty’s original plan or if came about in revision with the publisher if they already planned it as the series it became, but it hurts this as a stand alone work. I have no intention of reading the rest of the series, not because of the ending specifically (though I do feel a little like I was jerked around) and not because the writing isn’t good (it is) or because I’m not interested in the character (I would like to know how things go for her later in life) but only due to time. As you get older you have to prioritize…

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Hypatia
can't fault this
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 5, 2012
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Jessica Darling is rather wonderful - if you've ever been a teenage girl, are one now or simply want to understand any in your life, read this book. Her style reminds me of Judy Blume and you really get a sense of the characters and events, unlike other young adult books which don't seem to have a grasp on description. I've already ordered the sequel.

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Miss Page-Turner
Clever, romantic, sarcastic & so much more. YA at its best!
Reviewed in Germany on November 28, 2013
Verified Purchase
This review cannot even express the sensation of perfect contentment I felt while being invited to stay in the wondrous world of Jessica Darling, queen of sarcasm and protagonist extraordinaire.
In her five-book series Megan McCafferty allows us to follow Jessica on her way from being a teenager to a young woman, with all the responsibilities and decisions awaiting her in future. It was great to witness everything going on in her life over such a long span of time. I didn't want to miss one single of her thoughts. Because even though I am not a teenager anymore, it felt so good to read on page what makes these years so angstful and exciting at the same time.

Every character contributes to the masterpiece of fun and hilarity -without ever forgetting that there's also the serious side of life- the Jessica Darling series stands for. I loved them all! Marcus Flutie, Jessica of course, her best friend Hope, the parents, her sister and her niece, to name only a few.
Marcus Flutie is the main love interest and an extreme case of changeability. It's obvious that he hasn't found his place in life yet, always restless, always changing his mind and his heart about his future, his goals and even Jessica. I'd subtitle this series 'The metamorphosis of Marcus Flutie'. Alternative and surely not mainstream, he always seems to be on an experimental trip. We don't get him more often than we do, but when we connect, it's in all the right ways.
Jessica is witty and her humour is the best. I laughed, I cried. I can’t believe how she always said and thought exactly what I was thinking. I wish I read this series much sooner. A revelation to every young adult reader!

Jessica and Marcus make mistakes, get together, seperate again. Life comes in the way, wrong decisions play a part. It's just too much to point out every turn their relationship or lives make. There are so many scenes that need to be all time favourites! You. Yes. You. Marcus Flutie you stole my heart.

We are very lucky, because Jessica is keeping a diary. And the writing is as appealing as it is, because the story is written in the style of numerous diary entries. It has a very personal character and feels like we are just inside her head, going through everything she experiences and feeling as much love for Marcus Flutie as she does. Her writing is changing over the course of the series, especially in the fourth book, which is great, because it's a fab way to express change in her person or her ways of thinking.

This series is a guide for all young, sarcastic, lovable and insecure girls out there! Megan McCafferty, I thank you for all the hours of laughter and tears your novels brought into my house. You are a marvelous writer and I'm expecting to see many more books of you on my favourite shelves in the near future. I hope that we can find a version of that incredibly admirable and lovely Jessica Darling in all of us.

5/5 ***** JESSICA DARLING series - Clever, romantic, sarcastic & so much more. YA at its best!

SLOPPY FIRSTS recently had its 12th anniversary. Unbelieveable, but true. This series is in no way inferior to contemporary YA relatives in its originialty or actuality. This is a series that needs to be handed down to your kids, they will surely love to read about that Jessica Darling when they are growing up. And for everyone who hasn't read this series, I suggest you catch up on it now. It doesn't matter if you are 13 or 30, you will get and love it!

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Debbie Harrop
Excellent series
Reviewed in Canada on July 19, 2024
Verified Purchase
Love this author. Easy read

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R. Big Canoe
Great book!
Reviewed in Canada on January 8, 2014
Verified Purchase
Excellent book for my thirteen year old daughter. She related very well to the main character, and is now hooked on the series.

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selina dhanani
:D
Reviewed in Canada on December 11, 2013
Verified Purchase
Absolutely love Jessica Darling, she's a best friend I crave to spend time with!I do really reccommend for any teenager!

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Sloppy Firsts (Jessica Darling, Book 1) Paperback – August 28, 2001

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Top reviews from the United States

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5.0 out of 5 stars I am in LOVE!!

5.0 out of 5 stars Welcome Back

4.0 out of 5 stars Pretty fun read into the mind of a teen girl; ending weakened my rating

Top reviews from other countries

5.0 out of 5 stars can't fault this

5.0 out of 5 stars Clever, romantic, sarcastic & so much more. YA at its best!

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent series

5.0 out of 5 stars Great book!

5.0 out of 5 stars :D

I am in LOVE!!

Welcome Back

Pretty fun read into the mind of a teen girl; ending weakened my rating

can't fault this

Clever, romantic, sarcastic & so much more. YA at its best!

Excellent series

Great book!

:D