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You May Not Tie an Alligator to a Fire Hydrant: 101 Real Dumb Laws Hardcover – June 20, 2002

by Jeff Koon (Author), Andy Powell (Author), Ward Schumaker (Illustrator)
4.1 out of 5 stars 23 ratings
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You May Not Tie an Alligator to a Fire Hydrant is a collection of the 101 dumbest real federal, city, and state laws in America, compiled by Jeff Koon and Andy Powell, a couple of high school seniors with a Web site visited by hundreds of thousands of browsers every month. These laws will astonish, possibly outrage, and certainly amuse citizens everywhere.

Here you will learn that forgetting to close a gate is against the law in Nevada; that flying a kite is illegal in Schaumburg, Illinois; and that shaking carpets in the street in Cambridge, Massachusetts, is strictly forbidden. You probably haven't tried cutting off your arm to make people feel sorry for you -- but if you live in Alabama, it is against the law. Many Texans will be surprised to learn that their hoes must be no less than four feet long.

Perhaps more disturbingly, Indianans will be forced to recognize that being sexually aroused in public could get them arrested. With so many potential legal pitfalls around us all, it is comforting, finally, to learn in these pages that, in Alaska, the people who make laws have sagely concluded that emergencies are "held to a minimum and are rarely found to exist."

This hilarious compilation features forty-six original illustrations by award-winning artist Ward Schumaker that brilliantly capture the absurdity of so many of our laws with a light and elegant touch.

WARNING
These laws, all verified by the authors and presented along with a reference to the corresponding federal, state, or city statute, may cause readers to lose any desire to pursue a career in law.
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  1. Print length
    160 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Free Press
  4. Publication date
    June 20, 2002
  5. Dimensions
    5 x 0.77 x 7 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    0743230655
  7. ISBN-13
    978-0743230650
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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

In Utah, first cousins can marry, but only after they're 65 years old. Training a bear to wrestle is a felony in Alabama. In Delaware it's illegal to sell perfume as a drink. Seventeen-year-olds Jeff Koon and Andy Powell collect these and other wacky laws in You May Not Tie an Alligator to a Fire Hydrant: 101 Real Dumb Laws. Some of the laws show compassion (in Florida's Jupiter Colony Inlet, you can't launch missiles at birds), while others are just plain bizarre (in Oklahoma, hamburgers purchased on Sunday can only be eaten in the restaurant).
Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

About the Author

Jeff Koon co-authored You May Not Tie an Alligator to a Fire Hydrant at age seventeen while he was a senior in high school in 2002 after starting a website visited by thousands of browsers every month.


Andy Powell co-authored to You May Not Tie an Alligator to a Fire Hydrant at age seventeen while he was a senior in high school in 2002 after starting a website visited by thousands of browsers every month.


Ward Schumaker is a San Francisco-based artist and illustrator whose work has appeared in over 100 magazines world-wide, including Bloomberg Financial, The New Yorker, Le Monde, Esquire Japan, Macworld, and Fast Company.

He is author/illustrator of three children's books and the illustrator of two limited edition letter-press books. His work has been featured in articles in Communication Arts, Print, Step-by-Step, and Portfolio (Japan). With the Smithsonian Institution, Cooper-Hewit, National Design Museum in New York, he received a Federal Design Achievement Award for his work on "Unlimited by Design."

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Free Press
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ June 20, 2002
  • Edition ‏ : ‎ Later Printing
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 160 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0743230655
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0743230650
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 8.8 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5 x 0.77 x 7 inches
  • Best Sellers Rank: #2,741,807 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.1 out of 5 stars 23 ratings

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Top reviews from the United States

  • Michael Jr.
    5.0 out of 5 stars I Never Knew Such Wierd Laws Existed
    Reviewed in the United States on February 1, 2013
    Verified Purchase
    You May Not Tie An Alligator to a Fire Hydrant is an amazing book that includes 101 really odd laws that can be found state to state within our beautiful country. If your into wacky facts, and random facts this is the book for you.
    One person found this helpful
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  • C. Walker
    5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Advice! Words to live by!
    Reviewed in the United States on January 24, 2003
    I thought I was doing the nice folks a favor when I tied my dog Snuckles to the fire hydrant while I went into the 7-ll for a slushy and a ding-dong. However to my horror, when I came out of the store I found an alligator swallowing my dog. He then got his head and teeth stuck around the leash. Before I could do anything a police officer came up to me and asked if that was my alligator tied to the fire hydrant. I told him that I had never seen that alligator before in my life. He then asked me if that was my leash and I told him it was. Unfortunately, just then a fire broke out across the street and the fire trucks soon arrived. However, the fireman couldn't get to the fire hydrant as a vicious alligator was guarding it. The whole building burnt down and I was arrested and charged for tying an alligator to a fire hydrant and blocking a fire hydrant that was needed during a fire resulting in thousands of dollars of damage.
    While I was in court, even though I had argued that the alligator was not mine, it was proved by the prosecutors that it was mine since I had confessed to having my leash on it. In the end I was fined $500 dollars and sentenced to 100 hours of community service and forced to read this book.
    Without a doubt, had I read this book before, I would not have had to read it now in humiliation after failing to take Jeff's advice. Had I known I could have lied about the leash being mine. Good advice Jeff but a little too late for me!
    By the way, the alligator and I are now doing fine and I've adopted him as a pet. Poor Snuckles.
    13 people found this helpful
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  • charles tipton
    4.0 out of 5 stars funny
    Reviewed in the United States on May 12, 2022
    Verified Purchase
    this book is so funny
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  • V.H. Amavilah
    3.0 out of 5 stars dumb, dumber laws
    Reviewed in the United States on September 22, 2010
    This book is hilarious! Even funnier is that dumb laws still exist, and in the USA of all places. Talk about "rational ignorance"! And it took high-schoolers to bring the dumbness of it all to attention. The book illustrations are great. This is not superior non-fiction, for sure. It is enjoyable, and I loved, nonetheless. You will too, I bet.

    Amavilah, Author

    [...]

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    Modeling Determinants of Income in Embedded Economies.
    ISBN: 1600210465

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    ISBN: 9781430324959
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  • mirinda floyd
    5.0 out of 5 stars Can't wait for the sequel!
    Reviewed in the United States on July 11, 2002
    I would not only recommend that these two young men write another equally witty book, but I would love some pointers on how to become so famous at such a young age! This is a great coffee table book for funlovers of all ages. I enjoyed the dry humor, as well as the topic (which, by the way, came from the authors' equally humorous and successful website dumblaws.com). Its not everyday that one sees such a fresh new idea...I mean how many Dilbert or Dr. Seuss cofffee table books can one have?
    3 people found this helpful
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  • MICHAEL M. de Freitas
    1.0 out of 5 stars A fine manifestation of bad, misleading journalism...
    Reviewed in the United States on September 26, 2011
    This book is actually pretty bad. Many, if not most of the laws listed are actually not stupid. Not to mention that many of the section titles are pretty misleading.

    For instance, they say in La Plata, Maryland, it's illegal to drive a cab with only three doors. What the law actually says is that a cab or car for rental has to have four doors. Which is not all that unreasonable! The authors state it as if cars with three doors were the most common thing ever and their prohibition was sheer nonsense! No. Cars come in either two or four doors most of the time. The law was most likely written to prevent cabs with only two doors rather than cabs with three doors!

    Another example of the kind of really bad and misleading journalism these guys are doing. "In Texas one needs to pay an annual fee of 25 dollars for a licence to own a dead alligator". Again, they seem to suggest that at some point people keeping a dead alligator all year long was rampant in Texas, so the state decided to regulate the practice by charging a 25 dollar annual fee. I would have been shocked to learn that was the case. The way the law is stated just says that someone would have to pay 25 dollars for a licence to hunt an alligator, which, again, is not unreasonable at all!

    I could go on for almost each of the remaining 99 laws but I hope that was enough to make my point.
    4 people found this helpful
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  • Librarian Janet Reads
    2.0 out of 5 stars "Dumb"? Yes it is!
    Reviewed in the United States on January 13, 2016
    The fact that the authors are high school kids shouldn’t excuse them from poor grammar and poor attempts to sound clever. They seem to have confused “dumb” (cannot speak) with “stupid”, and I am not sure if by “real dumb” they mean “true” and “stupid” or just “very stupid.” The book tries to be clever by reading sophomoric humor into several of the laws. A law forbidding the disturbance of religious meetings becomes “It is illegal to intentionally burp in church in Nevada.” Other laws don’t seem to be “dumb” at all, despite the authors’ opinions. In California, potbellied pigs and lizards have the same rights as cats and dogs. The law in question mandates that these animals be held for adoption at shelters for the same amount of time as cats and dogs. How is this “dumb”?
    4 people found this helpful
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  • "plattypus"
    3.0 out of 5 stars Only Amusing
    Reviewed in the United States on July 9, 2002
    This collection of dumb laws does provide entertainment. Each page is one dumb law, followed by an explanation of it, and the majority of them are funny. However, there are only 101 laws in this book, and in total it takes about 10 minutes to read. Also, it isn't funny enough to the point where you can keep rereading it.
    The question, then, is whether the book is worth buying. Unless you plan on putting it on your coffee table for party amusement, it really doesn't provide the amount of humor you pay for.
    17 people found this helpful
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