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Why Him? Why Her?: How to Find and Keep Lasting Love Paperback – January 5, 2010

by Helen Fisher (Author)

190 customer reviews

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The national bestseller that shows you how a better understanding of who you are will help you find and keep the love you want

Helen Fisher can often tell, almost instantly, the hidden strengths and weaknesses in a relationship that are likely to keep a couple together or pull them apart. The words they choose, their facial structure and body language, even their doodles and where they live give strong clues to their personality type. After three decades of studying romantic relationships, Fisher has discovered that your dominant personality type guides not only who you are but who you love.

Why Him? Why Her? provides a new way to understand relationships, whether you're searching for one or eager to strengthen the one you have. Beginning with a scientifically developed questionnaire to determine your prevailing personality type, Fisher tells you not only what type of person you might have chemistry with but how to find them, attract them, and keep them. Once you know the personality profile of the partner you're with―or hope to find―you can use your knowledge of how your types match up to improve your love life.

More than seven million people in forty countries have learned Fisher's techniques and are using these tools to make and keep lasting romantic connections. Based on proven results, this groundbreaking book goes beyond theory to show that the complex nature of romance isn't so complicated once you truly understand yourself and others. Provocative and illuminating, Fisher's book deserves to be read by everyone looking to be loved for who they really are.

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Editorial Reviews

Review

Praise for Helen Fisher:

"Fascinating.... An original and uniquely contemporary approach to a sensation that, for millennia, has been considered purely emotional." --The Washington Post on "Why We Love"

"A thesis with startling ramifications." --The New York Times Book Review on "Why We Love"

"Delightful to read, offering an abundance of fascinating facts." --The New York Times on "Anatomy of Love"

"Fascinating…. You may already have your dream lover, but you’ll want to read this for the many insights on the science of love."—The Boston Globe

"Why Him? Why Her? examines how brain chemistry determines temperament and temperament dictates whom we love…. [Fisher offers] a giddy, romantic notion, well worth considering."—Los Angeles Times

"In times of upheaval, nothing offers safe harbor like science. That’s where Helen Fisher comes in…. Her research led her inside the biological mechanisms of mate choice."—TIME magazine

"Fascinating.... You may already have your dream lover, but you'll want to read this for the many insights on the science of love."--The Boston Globe

"Why Him? Why Her? examines how brain chemistry determines temperament and temperament dictates whom we love.... [Fisher offers] a giddy, romantic notion, well worth considering."--Los Angeles Times

"In times of upheaval, nothing offers safe harbor like science. That's where Helen Fisher comes in.... Her research led her inside the biological mechanisms of mate choice."--TIME magazine

About the Author

Helen Fisher, PhD, is a research professor of anthropology at Rutgers University, and the bestselling author of four previous books, two of which―The First Sex and Anatomy of Love―were New York Times Notable Books. She is Scientific Adviser to Chemistry.com (a division of Match.com) and lives in New York City.

Paperback: 320 pages
Publisher: Holt Paperbacks; Reprint edition (January 5, 2010)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0805091521
ISBN-13: 978-0805091526
Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.9 x 8.2 inches
Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 190 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #109,345 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #169 in Biochemistry (Books)
- #56 in Mate Seeking (Books)
- #486 in Popular Psychology Personality Study

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Joyce K. Wright

I enjoyed this book and found it fascinating that the personality ...

July 23, 2016

Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase

I enjoyed this book and found it fascinating that the personality tests have been used all over the world in different cultures with equal effectiveness. Although I have a long term happy marriage, I enjoyed reading about the different personality categories and theories of the best "matches" of different personality types. The observations in the book were very insightful. I think this book would be helpful to people who are dating to provide insight about themselves and what they should consider in looking for a serious long term partner.

6 people found this helpful

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Payton

Not as great as it’s talked up to be

August 16, 2018

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

This book had super good reviews, and I love listening to Helen Fisher, so I thought I’d give it a read. The book is somewhat interesting for the first few pages and then it’s the same exact stuff over and over again. She talks about the 4 temperaments the whole entire book restating the same exact things over again. It was an incredibly boring read.

4 people found this helpful

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Paige Redwine

Get to Know Yourself

December 12, 2018

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

This book was enlightening and helped me a lot in understanding myself. I now have some insight about others to by things they do and can label them explorer, negotiator, builder, or director. I love the way Helen Fisher writes and the content she produces overall. This book was a great read, and the personality test was good too! I recommend you read this today!

One person found this helpful

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Gabriele Froböse

that connects the everlastings bonds between two people that we call love. This book is intended to all those

August 8, 2017

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

Helen Fisher gives an interesting insight in how we unconciously choose our partners. It is much more than sex, that connects the everlastings bonds between two people that we call love. This book is intended to all those, trying to find the appropriate partner. Fisher even holds a data bank to which you can submit. As she sets proof in several examples, the partnership-data-bank often ends up into a successful marriage. So don't give up. Join Helen Fisher

4 people found this helpful

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Patricia Guerrero

Interesting and worth the read

May 18, 2015

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

I love Helen Fisher, I've followed her speeches and got to know her while reading Why We Love and this new book did not disappoint. She really knows how to translate more complex biological terms into common words anyone can grasp and seriously can get you interested in science in a heartbeat. Her profound investigation mostly comprises several different theories and makes it easy to relate them to each other.

I genuinely enjoyed this book and feel it would interest a lot of people who like well narrated non fiction (by this I mean the experience of reading it feels like she's telling a story that is easy to grasp).

3 people found this helpful

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DrP Q

Guaranteed for Dating and Mating

March 29, 2014

Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase

I have lectured about relationships and how to understand people using "Why Him? Why Her?" in my university journalism classes, ordered copies for the campus bookstore, and had students take the amazingly accurate and revealing short form online quiz. This was always a favorite part of my classes because the information is factual, amazingly accurate--and useful! While Helen Fisher's style is breezy and engaging, the author includes statistical evidence and information to make this a trusted treatise on dating, why relationships fail, and why they last. To date, I have purchased five copies of "Why Him? Why Her?", made the mistake of loaning them out, and have never seen them again--the book is THAT good!

4 people found this helpful

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Jan

Favorite non fiction of 2018.

January 13, 2019

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

She is brilliant. Trust me. Buy it and you will understand the 4 personality types. Making the people you deal with regularly become easier or at least less frustrating. Even Ester Perel refers to Ms. Fischer’s personality paradigm in Perel’s State of Affairs.

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Budgiegirl

A fun and possibly scientific way to assess your personality

March 11, 2009

Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase

I don't know how anybody could consider this dry reading! It is full of insights, great quotes, relevant anecdotes - and is just plain fun to read. Why him/why her - is every bit about our own personalities, as it is why we are attracted to others. Further more, the book delves into different partner personality combinations - exploring the pros and cons of different combos. I found it fascinating and pretty accurate based on my life experience. Thankfully Dr. Fisher is not rigid in her definitions and admits that our personalities are multifaceted - but it only makes sense that we each have a dominant personality characteristic. What's more fascinating, is that she attributes aspects of our personality to certain hormones and neurotransmitters - arguing that our exposure or sensitivity to these body chemicals helps shape and determine who we are... and she backs it up with intriguing anthropologic data. What a great way to connect psychology with medical science. Fascinating!

4 people found this helpful

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