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Lift
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Written as a letter to her children, Kelly Corrigan's Lift is a tender, intimate, and robust portrait of risk and love; a touchstone for anyone who wants to live more fully. In Lift, Corrigan weaves together three true and unforgettable stories of adults willing to experience emotional hazards in exchange for the gratifications of raising children.
Lift takes its name from hang gliding, a pursuit that requires flying directly into rough air, because turbulence saves a glider from "sinking out." For Corrigan, this wisdom--that to fly requires chaotic, sometimes even violent passages--becomes a metaphor for all of life's most meaningful endeavors, particularly the great flight that is parenting.
Corrigan serves it up straight--how mundanely and fiercely her children have been loved, how close most lives occasionally come to disaster, and how often we fall short as mothers and fathers. Lift is for everyone who has been caught off guard by the pace and vulnerability of raising children, to remind us that our work is important and our time limited.
Like Anne Morrow Lindbergh's Gift from the Sea, Lift is a meditation on the complexities of a woman's life, and like Corrigan's memoir, The Middle Place, Lift is boisterous and generous, a book readers can't wait to share.
Praise for Lift
"Although we've never met, I love Kelly Corrigan like a friend. Her work gives me a rich sense of intimacy with someone who is full of life and hard-fought wisdom. She's hilarious, tender-hearted, tough, loyal, wild, and screwed-up--like all the coolest women I know."
--Anne Lamott, author of Bird by Bird and Traveling Mercies
Praise for The Middle Place
"Funny and irresistibly exuberant."
--O, The Oprah Magazine
"Come for the writing, stay for the drama. Or vice versa. Either way, you won't regret it."
--San Francisco Chronicle
"Plan to laugh, cry, and be consumed by Kelly Corrigan."
--Winston-Salem Journal
"For two days I ignored my family while I devoured Kelly Corrigan's memoir. I spent a good part of that time crying, but mostly I was laughing . . . She captures our hearts and teaches us something new about family, love, and yes, even death."
--Ayelet Waldman, author of Bad Mother and Love and Other Impossible Pursuits
- Print length89 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherVoice
- Publication dateMarch 2, 2010
- Reading age18 years and up
- Dimensions4.75 x 6.88 inches
- ISBN-101401341241
- ISBN-13978-1401341244
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Lift is ostensibly a letter to Corrigan’s daughters, something for them to have when they reach a certain age, or maybe one day when their mother is gone. Perhaps it was Corrigan’s bout with breast cancer that started her thinking about things. She chronicled that experience, interlaced with her own childhood stories, in her first book, The Middle Place. Or maybe it was the horror of ovarian cancer which cost her not only her ovaries, but the chance for more children, something she says she may never get over. Whatever the genesis, Corrigan’s cancer allowed her to let people in and do for her as she never could before. As a result, she doesn’t look at life the way most people do. She knows that the long haul could be short indeed, and she views each moment through her close up lens -- Corrigan is also an excellent photographer -- knowing that it’s a crap shoot, that we could get just this one day or 10,000 more, and soaking it all in while it’s there in front of her. I met her briefly at a Jr. League Author’s Luncheon in Lancaster, Pennsylvania; the woman has an uncanny ability to connect with everyone she meets, size them up in a few seconds and give them exactly what they need -- no veils or hidden doors, just open communication and full on love -- as if there’s not a moment to lose. At first you think she might be BS’ing you, or that maybe she’s looking at the world through rose-colored glasses, but then you realize she’s popped out the lenses and there’s nothing obstructing her view. Plus, like her writing, she’s funny as hell.
Lift is not a memoir in the traditional sense, but a brief historic family interlude told through its still strong, still beating heart center. You can read Lift in an afternoon, but like Corrigan herself, you’ll remember it for a lifetime.
So here you go - this review will save you 40 minutes of reading and explain why this book sucked for me:
<SPOILERS AHEAD>
"If I had to pick one fate for you, cancer or fertility problems, I'd pick cancer." Wow, what a mom... being a mother is great. But motherhood comes to us all in different ways. Carrying a child doesn't make you a better mother than others. It is the breast vs. bottle debate. Whatever works for you to have a positive and healthy (relationship) kid. Let's just hope that her daughters, reading her "letter" as adults don't struggle with infertility. They might feel differently.
In the next paragraph she tells her daughter's about how easy it was to get "knocked up with their dad's uber-sperm" (gross! I don't want to think of my father that way). Upon getting a positive pregnancy test, the author runs off and has a drink to celebrate. If the author values having children so highly you'd think she might have a better way celebrate.
We move on to the video of the first child's birth. Childbirth is pretty amazing, but I don't really have any desire to see myself pop out of my mom - it would be like watching kittens die. Traumatic. But the author goes into great detail describing it, then says, "I'll show you, assuming you're old enough to hear me say "sweet-Jesus-Mother-fucker." Really? You tell the kids (who are possibly reading this letter before they are old enough to hear you swear) about the exact reason why you won't show them the video?
This is probably one of the things that really irritated me about this book: The self shame, which she blames her shame on other people's perceptions - specifically those Berkeley liberals! She feels guilty for stopping beast feeding early. That example of self loathing will do more damage to her daughters' then giving them formula. Own your flipping decisions, lady, and get over it! So what, you switched to formula. Your kids are healthy. Rejoice in that.
But the author still doesn't measure up because she is a bad cook and uses invites to the neighbors house as the only opportunity have good family meals. A frozen lasagna isn't that tough. Neither is PB&J or a rotisserie chicken from the market. So what if you can't cook, the food isn't important, the time with the family is. And that time would be of a better quality if you weren't chugging wine in the kitchen with the neighbor before mooching a family meal. With the neighbor's family.
After the second daughter has viral meningitis, the author is done having kids (because being a parent is scary!). Fine. No big deal. I would be traumatized seeing my infant get a spinal tap, too. Then 3 pages later tells how a hysterectomy, done preventatively to ward off breast cancer from metastizing on her ovaries, was the worst thing that ever happened because she wouldn't have more kids. I get the emotional finality of not being able to have more kids, but Come on. Was giving the baby stuff away after a hysterectomy that traumatic? I would think the infant spinal tap would be much more horrible. I don't know about you, but I'd take the hysterectomy over dying of cancer (didn't she wish cancer on her daughters?)/not having more kids (she already has 2, right?)/giving the baby stuff away ANY DAY OF THE WEEK.
Then we get the gem of the story about the teenager dying in a car crash. Great. Something else that is incredibly emotionally manipulative. She ends this little recounting with a warning to her girls "...I want you to be more cautious and less optimistic." How does optimism affect a teenager's risk taking behaviors? Be optimistic, but how about stop and think? And what is the point of this story if her kids are reading this as adults?
The book ends with meeting Meg - the most interesting 'character' in this extended blog post. In the middle of introducing the character to the reader (not her daughters - because at this point in the text, it seems like the author has no idea who her audience is). The author is upset that her friend is single and doesn't have children. How could she not? Remember, people, cancer is BETTER than not carrying a child! What's a BFF to do? Why help her friend get a sperm donation from www.mangoopinacup.com, of course! Good for her friend. (FYI, I have no issue with single motherhood or using a donor. I just don't get how this bit of info furthers Corrigan's story.)
By the end of the book, the focus is no longer about her kids or herself as a parent of those young children, rather it has morphed into a running commentary on the value of HAVING children and Corrigan's own insecurities.
On the whole, I found this book manipulate. The author's overall point seems to be that having children (through pregnancy, not adoption!) is the only valid way to be a mother. But she isn't good enough. She never will be. Because being a good parent is measured by what others think? This book seems to be more about seeing validation for all of her insecurities than about any meaningful insight for her daughters.
Corrigan uses emotionally charged anctedotes to suck readers into the roller coaster that is parenthood with little achievement of her overall goal: telling her daughters what she is like as a mother and they are like as children. This book panders to visceral reactions and requires little thought. Her metaphors are as subtle as running into a brick wall at 80 miles per hour. A a parent, I've gone through some of the doubts and insecurities she describes - who knew I could write them all up and make money off it?
Ugh.
Ms Corrigan, please write more stories for me to get lost in and to treasure forever!






