I Am Better Than Your Kids: Maddox: 9781439182864: Amazon.com: Books

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I Am Better Than Your Kids Hardcover – November 1, 2011

by Maddox (Author)

217 ratings

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From the New York Times bestselling author of The Alphabet of Manliness comes I Am Better Than Your Kids, an ingenious critique of children's artwork squeezed from the teats of Maddox's talented fingers. Finally a book that cuts those smug little monsters down to size. If you think children are precious snowflakes who are perfect in every way, think again. If you cherish every piece of art, every book report, every letter to Santa your child gives you, then this book is not for you. If your refrigerator is adorned with mementos from your kid's childhood, then you are a sucker.

Maddox, who has been writing hilarious essays for his popular site, TheBestPageInTheUniverse.com since 1996 (which receives over 1 million unique visitors per month), is here to tell you how your kids are inferior, and why it matters. Based on his most popular feature on his website, I Am Better Than Your Kids, and featuring 99 percent exclusive new content, Maddox tells it like it is by saying what we're all thinking when we see a child's art.

For the first time in published form, Maddox has included his own childhood drawings for criticism. Don't think he can draw better than your kids? Judge for yourself. From sub-par valentines, homemade "gifts," to crafts and even pictures of children, no aspect of juvenile production is spared! Why reward weakness and mediocrity with gold stars? You are in Maddox's world now, and no child is safe from the scrutiny and critical gaze of the world's foremost authority on children's crappy artwork.

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Print length

320 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Gallery Books
Publication date

November 1, 2011
Dimensions

7.37 x 1.4 x 9.13 inches
ISBN-10

1439182868
ISBN-13

978-1439182864

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Alphabet of Manliness by Maddox (2011-10-01)
Maddox

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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Maddox has been writing hilarious essays for his site, thebestpageintheuniverse.com since 1996. Through word-of-mouth alone, it has become one of the most popular personal sites on the Internet, with more than 50,000 unique visitors per day. In 2006, he published his first book, The Alphabet of Manliness, and its explosive success prompted the New York Times to coin a new phrase to describe its genre: "fratire." Maddox has also published a comic book based on his site and he has a YouTube channel called "The Best Show in the Universe" featuring clips viewed by more than 3 million fans.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Gallery Books
Publication date ‏ : ‎ November 1, 2011
Edition ‏ : ‎ First Edition; First Printing
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Print length ‏ : ‎ 320 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1439182868
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1439182864
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.95 pounds
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 7.37 x 1.4 x 9.13 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #696,478 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #675 in Parenting & Families Humor
- #1,622 in Love, Sex & Marriage Humor

Customer Reviews:
217 ratings

About the author

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Maddox

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#2 New York Times bestselling author. Maddox runs the site "The Best Page in the Universe" found at: http://maddox.xmission.com. Former computer programmer and mathematics major, Maddox started writing in 1997, and focused on writing full-time in 2004. His debut book is "The Alphabet of Manliness," which hit #1 on Amazon's bestseller list. Maddox is especially skilled at being awesome.

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Customer reviews

217 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book hilarious, with one noting it's funnier than the Alphabet of Manliness. The artwork receives positive feedback, with one customer highlighting the authentic children's drawings, and the book is well worth the purchase. They appreciate its insightful content, with one review noting it contains a brilliant critique of society, and consider it a great gift. The book's physical quality is praised, with one customer describing it as printed on nice glossy paper.

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Humor Book value Artwork quality Insight Author Gift value Pacing Paper thickness

70 customers mention "Humor"60 positive10 negative

Customers find the book hilarious, with many mentioning they laugh out loud while reading it. One customer particularly appreciates the astute insights of Maddox, while another notes it's much funnier than the Alphabet of Manliness.

"...While it is undeniably humorous and bold, it contains a brilliant critique of society that is readily apparent to the astute reader amidst the..." Read more

"...300 pages of bright, colorful, awful pictures with some very hilarious captions and explanations by maddox...." Read more

"...You Have Been Warned. This is a humorous collection of childish artwork with comments by Maddox. Few, if any, are positive...." Read more

"...Both from laughter at the astute insights of Maddox, and from crying at how awful my kids' drawings are...." Read more

35 customers mention "Book value"30 positive5 negative

Customers find the book valuable and well worth the purchase, with one mentioning it makes for a great bathroom reader.

"...has passed, you will realize that "I Am Better Than Your Kids" is a magnum opus - a compilation realized only through years of painstaking work and..." Read more

"...Well the book came and I love it! It makes for a great bathroom reader, or just put it on the coffee table for your friends to pick up and laugh at...." Read more

"...His website has some great stuff on it. Great shirts,stickers and much more!" Read more

"First off, the book itself is 5 stars. It's absolutely hilarious...." Read more

12 customers mention "Artwork quality"9 positive3 negative

Customers appreciate the artwork in the book, describing it as a work of art with a great layout, and one customer notes that it features authentic children's drawings.

"...My only beef is that the actual book is beautiful (despite the hideous drawings from these untalented children), but on the Kindle you just get a..." Read more

"Honestly, it's about time someone made a book like this. Maddox knows good artwork, on account of how much crappy artwork he had to look at in..." Read more

"...hero - he is willing to tell us that children suck, and their artwork is terrible and should never, ever be hung upon refrigerators nationwide...." Read more

"...That's what makes this book great. It takes real children's drawings that you know some parents mooned over and taped to their fridge with pride...." Read more

5 customers mention "Insight"5 positive0 negative

Customers find the book insightful, with one review highlighting its brilliant critique of society.

"...While it is undeniably humorous and bold, it contains a brilliant critique of society that is readily apparent to the astute reader amidst the..." Read more

"...colorful, awful pictures with some very hilarious captions and explanations by maddox...." Read more

"...Easily one of the most informative things I've ever read, even more so than those green signs on the highway telling me what exit is next...." Read more

"...The Alphabet Of Manliness, comes this genius work of non-fiction...." Read more

4 customers mention "Author"4 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the author, with one noting that Maddox is a genius.

"...I've never laughed so hard in all my life. Maddox is a genius and this book proves that...." Read more

"...Maddox is a great author and I really look forward to his third book." Read more

"This is an amazing book. Maddox is a creative genius, and in this masterpiece he shows the world the best of his humor. I give it an A+" Read more

"Maddox at his best, surprised this isn't more popular..." Read more

4 customers mention "Gift value"4 positive0 negative

Customers find the book makes a great gift.

"...this would make a great holiday gift. Show them what happens to people who write and/or draw crap...." Read more

"...when I found this book I gave it to her for Christmas and it was a perfect gift. Very funny, well put together book." Read more

"...Great coffee table book to have and a perfect gift for a teacher that has a sense of humor." Read more

"Great gift!..." Read more

4 customers mention "Pacing"4 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the pacing of the book, with one noting it's not just a cheaply-printed gag book.

"...The book itself is a work of art. It's not just a cheaply-printed gag book. All pages are printed in color with a glossy finish...." Read more

"...It's chock full of horrible childling drawings that are fairly critiqued along with masterfully done examples of art...." Read more

"Kids suck. Seriously...." Read more

"Pretty Lame..." Read more

4 customers mention "Paper thickness"4 positive0 negative

Customers like the paper thickness of the book, with one mentioning its very thick glossy pages and another noting it's printed on nice glossy paper.

"...All pages are printed in color with a glossy finish. The dust jacket has a slight raised texture for the picture frame...." Read more

"...the pages are thick as to prevent ripping from hands too eager to gaze upon the next page...." Read more

"...The quality is what surprised me the most. Very thick nice glossy pages and a great layout that I imagine took forever to come up with...." Read more

"...It gets old after a while, but its 300+ pages, and printed on nice glossy paper so it gets a thumbs up from me. Maddox is still a putz. Ha" Read more

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Mark Currier
Book
Reviewed in the United States on May 22, 2025
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Fair price, on time, great condition.

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Mike C
A Modest Review of a Masterpiece
Reviewed in the United States on November 5, 2011
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"To be great is to be misunderstood."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson, 1841

It is not often that a work of literature is as controversial as it is cautionary. When Mark Twain penned "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn," he illustrated the dangers of racial bias that, at the time, threatened to regress into a pre-Civil War mentality. During an era when the fear of totalitarian rule was near its peak, George Orwell's "1984" provided a glimpse into a future in which human rights were of no consequence. In "I Am Better Than Your Kids," Maddox treads on what is held by many as sacred ground to deliver a prophetic warning about the dangers of overindulging children with undeserved praise.

Our present day culture is quickly becoming a bottleneck to progress. Throughout history, we have grown as a species as the pioneers of previous generations passed their knowledge on to their progeny. Yet, this fundamental attribute of humans that distinguishes us from other animals is overwhelmingly lost on the majority as we observe a world mired by apathy and self-entitlement, spawned from a pervasive lack of appreciation for our journey through time. While it has been said that education begins at home, the author makes the case that perhaps the disingenuousness of parents with regard to their children is a fundamental flaw of our society. The artwork presented in his book is a mere sampling of the vast collective museum showcased on refrigerator doors throughout the civilized world: each new work as indistinguishably bad as the last, serving only to increase entropy as yet another uninspired caricature is hoisted up for all to see. Consequently, true individualism and originality are stifled by the reverberating echo of mouth-breathing ineptitude continuously reinforced by the prevailing, yet mendacious, consensus that everyone is a star. We are witnessing the withering of creativity. The final Renaissance of humanity has come and passed.

Some may criticize his book as a misopedic tirade. Others may disregard it as a frivolous and self-defeating satire that will ephemerally resonate with a juvenile demographic. Please do not subscribe to these single-minded, dismissive trains of thought. When the initial shock has passed, you will realize that "I Am Better Than Your Kids" is a magnum opus - a compilation realized only through years of painstaking work and meticulous editing. While it is undeniably humorous and bold, it contains a brilliant critique of society that is readily apparent to the astute reader amidst the tapestry of profanities. The author's candid approach toward the character conditioning of children is reminiscent of the ancient Spartan agoge system. He seeks to atone for the sins of a generation corrupted by Nickelodeon and MTV - restoring dignity to a world in which human empowerment has been stripped down to a touch-tone vote for a talent show contestant.

In the introduction, Maddox stresses the excessive use of the phrase "good job," proposing that gratuitous praise is the catalyst for the modern-day cesspool of cultural ingenuity. Perhaps such vacant speech has become T.S. Eliot's proverbial whimper proclaiming the end of our world.

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133 people found this helpful

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Amazon Customer
Classic Maddox Rules!
Reviewed in the United States on August 21, 2024
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His signature criticism on display with this one!

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Roy Bradrick
A Maddox classic
Reviewed in the United States on January 5, 2019
Verified Purchase
If you are a fan of Maddox you will love this book. If you are not, I seriously doubt you will appreciate his sense of humor. It's an acquired taste, not for everyone. You Have Been Warned.

This is a humorous collection of childish artwork with comments by Maddox. Few, if any, are positive. You will find the critiques hysterical (if a Maddox fan) or offensive (if not a fan.) This is Classic Maddox. He's on a roll...

Not a serious tome. More akin to bathroom reading than a cocktail table. NOT a PTA book. NO!

You won't be discussing this in your weekly Book Club Meeting. However, if you are, I want to join your reading circle.

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stykon
Maddox is Maddox
Reviewed in the United States on August 18, 2012
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Maddox is, as you would have to expect, being Maddox. If you've read The Alphabet of Manliness, and you actually liked it, you'll probably love this book. If you have read Maddox's website (as you probably would have, otherwise you wouldn't be familiar with him as a writer), you'll probably love this book.

I think the biggest problem with this particular style of writing is that it's very polar; either you'll find it hilarious and love it, or you'll detest it and end up hating the author for having a different opinion to yours. With this particular point of view, it is hard to give something like this an honest and impartial review because there is such little objective information. As with any piece of literature or art, it is a very subjective item and, from this point, I will say that I love the book. And, as I have said at least once before, if you've read any number of articles on his website and liked it, I'd recommend this book to you.

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2 people found this helpful

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Mike
Great book by a great man
Reviewed in the United States on March 23, 2012
Verified Purchase
I have been a maddox fan since his web page first became a hit years ago. Admittedly, his website became updated less and less often, and now I rarely visit it. So when I heard that this book had released, I had to jump on. Well the book came and I love it! It makes for a great bathroom reader, or just put it on the coffee table for your friends to pick up and laugh at. It's over 300 pages of bright, colorful, awful pictures with some very hilarious captions and explanations by maddox. The retail price shows 25$ US, but I got it from amazon for 15. Can't complain!

Anyways, great price, great read, and many laughs will be had if you get this book. Also, I can't wait to show it to my office coworker... she has a 2 year old and will NOT shut up about how good of an artist her child is haha!

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4 people found this helpful

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Reg 59
Kids Drawings Are By No Means Masterpieces
Reviewed in the United States on March 27, 2013
Verified Purchase
I actually bought this as a gift for someone to thumb through during times of illness. While I've never seen the book I have been to Maddox's website and it is very vulgar and sarcastic. You either like it or you don't but, I like it.
Maddox is relentless, unforgiving and in no way politically correct when it comes to examining, critiquing and grading children's art. You have to admit, there is some pretty ugly stuff tacked onto people's refrigerators.
He says all the things that many of us would like to say but are to hypocritical to let it flow from our mouths. Really, how many times have you seen an ugly baby or a very ugly mother and wondered, "Where did the come from?"
This stuff is not to be taken seriously and if you do then, it's your fault. Maddox's work is full of laughs. Not for children!!!

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Verdicts
A Parents Ultimate Guilty Pleasure.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 20, 2013
Verified Purchase

There comes a time in a parents life when, even though you know the picture your child has given you as a 'present' is terrible, the thought that they loving took time to create such an abomination for you fills you with love and appreciation.

It would seem that Maddox has no such inhibitions. The blunt honesty in his words releases a guilty part in us that would rather like a picture so beautiful, the years of stress seem worth it.

Que a constant stream of snickering from any parent who reads this book.Yes, the comments can be cruel, and yes, sometimes they may even shock you: but only because you find yourself agreeing. This is well worth the asking price, for the enjoyment it will give you.

*Note: The Kindle version does not 'fit' ideally into the screen, meaning some odd timing for page-turning and some strangely positioned pictures, but this does not take away any enjoyment for the content.

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David
Better than expected
Reviewed in Canada on February 27, 2022
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This book was a gift and was hard to find. It was in great condition (purchased it as used).

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Crackedpale
Perfect coffee table book
Reviewed in Australia on January 15, 2024
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Finally bought this book and it was worth every cent!
Was expecting just the webpage in book form but there is SO much more in here.

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JayJay
Ansich gutes Buch fürs Badezimmer
Reviewed in Germany on May 26, 2015
Verified Purchase
Hallo,

ansich ist das Buch bzw. der Inhalt sehr unterhaltsam wenn man ein Fan von Maddox ist. Viele Bilder und die passenden Kommentare dazu sorgen garantiert für Lachfalten wenn man auf diese Art von schwarzen Humor steht.

Man sollte jedoch keine sehr anspruchsvolle Literatur erwarten ( das Niveau entspricht eher dem eines "Lustigen Taschenbuchs" ) und über sehr gute Englischkenntnisse verfügen.

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Anne Katrin Melle
Another hilarious masterpiece from Maddox
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 29, 2012
Verified Purchase
If you loved "the alphabet of manliness", "the best page in the universe" or simply finds it amuzing reading about a guy who takes childrensdrawings 100%, then this is a book for you. It is hard not to laugh at how cruel some of his comments are of the drawings. Since this is Maddox though, the comments he makes are allways funny or clever. A great book for people with a little dark sense of humor.

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