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Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life Paperback – March 3, 2015

by Emily Nagoski Ph.D. (Author)
4.7 out of 5 stars 173 customer reviews
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 416 pages
  • Publisher: Simon & Schuster; 1 edition (March 3, 2015)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1476762090
  • ISBN-13: 978-1476762098
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 1.3 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 14.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (173 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,602 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5 starsThe BEST Sex Book I've Ever Read. The BEST Life Book I've Ever Read.
By Kate Chopin on March 4, 2015
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Come As You Are is absolutely the best sex book I've ever read. I used to buy so many trying to figure out how desire and arousal worked and while I learned good things, this was the book that felt like a warm hug that explained everything and how I could make this work for me. What I did not expect was to learn so much about my brain, and how *exactly* that was connected to sex, and why feeling joyful and content in life in general applies to sex specifically. I'd heard that sex and life were intertwined; the whole "it's all connected" but it never made sense until reading Emily Nagoski detailing HOW and WHY.

So all of Emily's blog posts come to life in this book, and every time I re-read chapters, I feel like the science connects in a deeper way. She covers attachment, sex that advances the plot in relationships, emotions, and mindfulness, just to name some topics. My favorite part of the book was learning about how the brain interprets goals and effort, and how you can use that to your emotional advantage to make life easier. (Also, this applies to road rage!)

I'd also always read that imagination was a big part of creating a better sex life, and this is the first book to have really sparked my curiosity in a way that I'm intrigued about sex. (I've had painful sex and avoided it for years now, while still desperate to find out how to make things work for me.) The way I think about sex and the way I feel about sex have been transformed after reading Come As You Are. Instead of comparing myself to friends' stories about sex, lately, I'm actually interested and find myself musing on how things work for me to feel so confident and excited about sex.Read more ›
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5.0 out of 5 starsMagnificent!
By stephen snyder on March 4, 2015
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
This is an astonishingly good book - written with warmth, wisdom, humor, and heart. Although it's designed to be a self-help book for the general public, I have a suspicion its greater value will be in the fresh and original ideas it will offer to sex therapists. I look forward to using some of Nagoski's assessment, education, and treatment techniques in my own sex therapy practice. The book is also a cornucopia of clinically relevant behavioral science research. I believe many sex clinicians will find themselves returning to it again and again for inspiration and guidance. Well done!
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5.0 out of 5 starsPlease, read this book.
By SilentSpell on April 2, 2015
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
If you read only one book on human sexuality, make it Come as You Are. This isn't your standard sex book. There are no promises here that learning one trick will drive you or your lover wild. But there is a lot of science, presented in an approachable manner, that provides great insight into how people work sexually (and, to be honest, in general as well). The book's stated audience is women, but I think anyone can benefit from the science that Nagoski covers in her book, regardless of sex. Sure, if you are a guy you'll read some things that don't directly apply to you, but I recommend you read this book anyway. It is that important.

Why? Because what this book teaches you is immently important to your health, your sexual well being, and just general understanding of how you, and those you are intimate with, work. For instance, Nagoski's discussion of the dual control model, or the "brakes" and "accelerator" of arousal, provides an understanding of people can have a different level of arousal for similar events.

Nagoski also talks about how stress impacts your arousability, and how stress can affect level of arousal differently for people (some people more aroused, others much less). She discusses how stress worked in the past for humans (when running from lions, for instance), and how we no longer allow stress ourselves to complete the full stress cycle. This discussion of how we, as a society, don't allow stress to complete the cycle is important, regardless of how it affects your sex life. I thought her point of how our method of dealing with stress is to avoid stressors, when it would be much healthier to learn to allow the stress cycle to complete, spot-on and more sensible than the common advice to avoid stress.Read more ›
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5.0 out of 5 starsRead this book!
By Houston Dweller on May 10, 2015
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Read this book! Then give a copy to your friends, sisters, mothers and daughters!

This is not a book for prude/frigid/repressed women who are trying to come to terms with their sexuality (although it would be great for them), rather it's for every woman who is confused/conflicted/frustrated about why her sex drive waxes and wanes.

I read this book based on a review from a blog. As someone with a decent sex life I thought I might find some nuggets of wisdom but did not expect any earth-shattering new insights. I was frankly amazed at my own ignorance. My eyes were opened to how deeply engrained our culture's sexual stereotypes are and how much mis-information has influenced my whole life. This was a watershed event for me -- beyond sex to the core of how I see myself and other women.

The book itself is a treat to read. This is not a stodgy textbook or a dry and serious self help book. The author is funny and real. The science is fascinating and compelling.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5 starsGreat Job!

Very interesting info and helped me to put into perspective the differences between men and women as well as how I am being too judgemental. Great Job!

Published 7 days ago by Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 starsFive Stars

great read

Published 12 days ago by Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 starsInformative

I spent a long time reading this one and taking notes on my kindle. I enjoy referencing this book when giving people information about sex related topics. Read more

Published 16 days ago by Abraham Sanchez
5.0 out of 5 starsFive Stars

Great book! Lots of useful information for couples as well as individuals.

Published 18 days ago by Brian M.
4.0 out of 5 starsInteresting Read

I thought this book was interesting and I did learn some new things. It was not groundbreaking to me or something I feel every woman I know should read, but I think it was a... Read more

Published 1 month ago by TCooper
5.0 out of 5 starsLife changing

I haven't even finished the first chapter and it's already transformed my sex life. I describe it as exhaling a breath I didn't even realize I was holding. Buy this book. Read more

Published 1 month ago by Nicki Wells
1.0 out of 5 starsWhat you already know, with lots of repeated words, and odd analogies...

A lot of words in this book but they don't say not much that is new or useful!

I hate books where the author constantly says, now up ahead, I'm going to tell you ALL... Read more

Published 1 month ago by Frosty
2.0 out of 5 starsSome inaccurate information.

There is one section at least with inaccurate information. I am not an expert on sexual health, or mental health, however the author is not an expert on physiological health and at... Read more

Published 1 month ago by Don Cristobel
5.0 out of 5 starsExcellent read for every woman!

A must read for every woman and for every man who has a woman in his life that he loves! I will for sure be giving this book out as a gift to all of the women in my life that I... Read more

Published 1 month ago by Charity Kheshgi
5.0 out of 5 starsFive Stars

Really informational

Published 1 month ago by Tchinina Butler

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