http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0036WS4WU/ref=cm_cr_rev_prod_img
When I was diagnosed with congestive heart failure, I was somewhat more stunned than I had expected to be. I knew how many people in my mother's family had died from it, and only two months earlier I had asked my internist if she thought I was heading into heart failure. I knew I had several of the symptoms, and was concerned. She assured me that I did not have congestive heart failure, but I had an upcoming visit with my pulmonologist. When he referred me me to a cardiologist, the cardiologist did tests that were more specific than those the pulmonologist did, and told me that I was in the very early stages of diastolic heart failure. A look through the internet when I got home told me that diastolic heart failure eventually leads to overall congestive heart failure, which is fatal unless the patient dies of something else first. Only 50 % of those diagnosed with congestive heart failure, no matter how early it is caught, are alive ten years later. I spent the first week in shock, crying off and on, not because I am afraid of dying--I am not--but because I knew how my family would grieve, and I especially didn't want to die in front of the grandchildren.
I went to Kindle to see if I could find good books on dying, and latched onto this one. I found it agreed with my philosophy--do not lie to the patient, do not make the patient lie to you, let the patient die in dignity. I had written an impassioned conversation in my only (so far) fantasy novel, between two young men, one of whom saw his grandfather dying while being forced by those around him to pretend he thought he would recover. I wanted to know what I could reasonably expect from my loved ones, and how to bring it to their attention.
My internist kept pointing out to me that at present I am at a very early stage, and probably have ten to fifteen years left in front of me. But I remembered my grandfather, dying suddenly while trimming the hedge, when I was five years old, and I am twenty years older than he was. I knew the ailment was diagnosed early on, because I had a complete cardiology workup a year and a half earlier before major surgery and there was no sign of it then. But that said nothing about my prognosis, and neither did the fact that my son, twenty-five years younger than I am, had already had four heart attacks and three stents.
I reread WHAT DYING PEOPLE WANT several times, finding more encouragement and comfort in it each time I read it, and now I am feeling better emotionally, and I have no problem now excusing myself so that I can go put on my oxygen hose.
This book is a comfort to the dying and to the soon-to-be bereaved. I appreciate the hard work the author put into it, and the many people who cooperated with him as he did his research. I have also read Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, and find her work helpful, but unlike some of Dr. Kuhl's readers, I find his work more useful than hers. I recommend this book very highly.
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Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on October 9, 2010
- Reviewed in the United States on August 27, 2017
- Reviewed in the United States on February 25, 2014
- Reviewed in the United States on February 6, 2014
Top reviews from other countries
- FifiReviewed in Canada on February 14, 2016
A good reference/guide for living life too
