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The Golden Rule and the Games People Play: The Ultimate Strategy for a Meaning-Filled Life Paperback – October 21, 2015

by Rabbi Rami Shapiro (Author)

4 customer reviews

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Does the Golden Rule matter?
It depends on the game.

"We have to shift the game before we can promote the Rule. This is why teaching morality alone is insufficient. Educating our children in the Golden Rule without teaching about finite and infinite games and zero-sum and nonzero worldviews is a waste of time. Doing so would be like teaching them the rules of chess while insisting they play only checkers."
―from Chapter 10, “Play Different”

This provocative and challenging exploration of the Golden Rule, widely accepted as humanity's moral true north, neither praises the Rule uncritically nor naively insists that it is applicable in every situation. Rather, it looks critically at the Rule in the context of game theory to see where it works and where it doesn’t, when it is applicable and when it isn’t. It shows you why knowing the difference can offer you a powerful way to transform your life from one driven by fear to one driven by love.

This philosophical game changer is written for people of all faiths or none who praise the Rule and yet violate it over and over again. It invites you into the fascinating world of ethical decision making in a way that helps you use the Golden Rule as a fulcrum for shifting your life from often unethical competition to compassionate and even loving cooperation.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Brilliantly clear, easy to read, well-informed in relevant science, philosophy and religion ... a real contribution to our understanding of the Golden Rule."
―Jeffrey Wattles, author, The Golden Rule; associate professor of philosophy, Kent State University

“The Golden Rule may not be golden for the reasons you think! In this provocative book, Rabbi Rami leads us to a life of 'infinite play,' where the outcome of the game is a gorgeous paradox: everyone wins.”
―Mirabai Starr, author, God of Love: A Guide to the Heart of Judaism, Christianity and Islam and Caravan of No Despair: A Memoir of Loss and Transformation

“Intriguing.... Reverently considering scripture from a multitude of spiritual traditions while at the same time stripping the Golden Rule of its religious trappings, [it] calls and challenges us to live in the truly golden nonzero sum world of interdependence.”
―Steven Greenebaum, author, Practical Interfaith: How to Find Our Common Humanity as We Celebrate Diversity

“Provides a fresh look at the substance of the Golden Rule that has the potential to make it far more accessible and useful.”
―Pastor Don Mackenzie, coauthor, Getting to the Heart of Interfaith: The Eye-Opening, Hope-Filled Friendship of a Pastor, a Rabbi and an Imam

“[Does] all of us a big favor: help[s] us understand why we humans and our religions have so often failed in our practice of the Golden Rule, and give[s] us invaluable insights and practical tools to make the Golden Rule a lived reality.”
―Paul McKenna, coordinator, Scarboro Missions Interfaith Department

“Shapiro has an important message: either we play the game of life by trying to win at the expense of others (in which case we’ll likely all suffer) or we try to cooperate and treat others as we want to be treated (in which case we may all end up winning).”
―Harry J. Gensler, author, Ethics and the Golden Rule; professor of philosophy, Loyola University Chicago

About the Author

Rami Shapiro, a renowned teacher of spirituality across faith traditions, is an award-winning storyteller, poet and essayist. He is author of The Sacred Art of Lovingkindness: Preparing to Practice, Recovery―The Sacred Art: The Twelve Steps as Spiritual Practice and The Divine Feminine in Biblical Wisdom Literature: Selections Annotated & Explained (all SkyLight Paths), among other books.

Rami Shapiro is available to speak on the following topics:

Writing―The Sacred Art: Beyond the Page to Spiritual Practice
Stop Playing God: 12 Steps as Spiritual Practice
Biblical Wisdom for Post-biblical Times: An Exploration of Proverbs, Ecclesiastes and Job
The Sacred Art of Lovingkindness: Cultivating Compassion in Daily Life
Hasidic Wisdom: An Exploration of Hasidic Storytelling, Theology and Contemplative Practice
Saints and Sages: Biblical Prophets, Ancient Rabbis and the Building of a Just World

Paperback: 176 pages
Publisher: SkyLight Paths; 1 edition (October 21, 2015)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1594735980
ISBN-13: 978-1594735981
Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.5 x 9 inches
Shipping Weight: 12.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 4 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #299,742 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #7686 in Personal Transformation Self-Help
- #74728 in Religion & Spirituality (Books)

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Robert A. Cohen

This Book Deciphers The Golden Rule As Never Before

December 27, 2017

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

If you thought the Golden Rule was all we need to live happy, fair, non-violent lives, and get along with all people, you are SO wrong. Read this book. It doesn't dismiss the Golden Rule by any means. Rather, it puts the Golden Rule in the context of Game Theory, and looks at the best ways to apply the Golden Rule so that instead of preaching the Rule, and most of us being hypocrites, we can learn to apply it meaningfully. You will never think about the Golden Rule the same way again.

2 people found this helpful

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Cynthia A. Kondon

Five Stars

August 30, 2016

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

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Harry J. Gensler

Competition, cooperation, and the golden rule

October 25, 2015

Format: Paperback

Using game theory, this fine book defends a cooperative approach to life. According to Shapiro, life is a game. Games come in two forms, which I'll call competitive and cooperative; life requires that we play both. The cooperative form should dominate.

Competitive ("finite zero-sum") games have winners and losers; examples include basketball, poker, elections, and business. The goal is to win, which requires that someone else loses. What is "good" (in an ends-means sense) is what helps you win. The golden rule ("Treat others as you want to be treated") doesn't work here, since it blocks winning; imagine playing basketball while following "It's wrong to strip the ball away from your opponent, since you wouldn't want the opponent to strip the ball away from you."

Cooperative ("infinite nonzero") games have a different goal: to maintain a relationship that benefits all the players. An example is friendship. We nourish friendship by treating our friend as we want to be treated. The golden rule is the best strategy for playing cooperative games.

Should we follow the golden rule? More basically, what type of game should dominate our lives? Since humanity is so deeply interconnected, and since others won't let us get away with just having our own way, playing life as a competitive game alienates others and brings frustration. It's more fulfilling to play life as a cooperative game, where everyone can win. That's why we need to follow the golden rule, the strategy that fits cooperative games.

But is life really a game, as Shapiro claims? It's hard to say, since "game" here is so unclear; as Wittgenstein explained, there's no set of clear conditions that all and only games must satisfy. We'd explain the word "game" by giving examples - like basketball, chess, and solitaire. Since we'd never give life as an example, life isn't literally a game. So "Life is a game" is a metaphor. Is it a useful metaphor? It can be useful, but it can also oversimplify. It definitely oversimplifies if it leads to the distressing idea that we can't sensibly apply the golden rule in competitive activities - like sports, elections, and business.

Suppose I play one-on-one basketball on Saturday mornings with my friend Bob. When I play, is my goal to win? While we both try to win, we also play to promote fitness, have fun, and nourish our friendship - we have multiple goals. The golden rule is relevant, since there are fair and unfair ways to play. Would it be right for me to trip Bob or break his arm in order to win? The golden rule would lead me to say no, since when I imagine this same thing being done to me in the same situation, I condemn (disapprove of, object to) the action. The golden rule, as applied to competitive activities, or perhaps always, is about what actions I'd object to when I imagine them done to me. In the earlier example, I don't want Bob to strip the ball away from me, but I wouldn't condemn (disapprove of, object to) this action if done fairly. So then the golden rule lets me strip away the ball, if this is done fairly, but it doesn't let me trip Bob or break his arm.

So yes, the golden rule can apply to competitive activities. Running for office is competitive; but it can be done for wider cooperative purposes (for example, to help pick the best public officials) and it ought to be subject to golden-rule fairness constraints (which prohibit, for example, lying about your opponent - we'd object to this being done to us). Similarly, businesses can compete for wider purposes (for example, to help people get good and affordable products) and they ought to be subject to golden-rule fairness constraints (which prohibit, for example, burning down our opponent's factory - we'd disapprove of this being done to us). In life, we can have a mix of motives and play many games at once; maybe I complete to be starting quarterback, for the good of the team (cooperative), to help us defeat our opponent (competitive), and to promote the wider goods that football brings (cooperative). All our actions, even competitive ones, need to satisfy golden-rule consistency and fit into a larger cooperative effort that considers everyone's good.

I take this to be a friendly amendment to the framework (at least as I read it, perhaps incorrectly) used in Shapiro's excellent book. As he rightly emphasizes, we need to be more about working together than about winning or losing.

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MBushman

Interesting, Insightful Exploration of Golden Rule Challenges

April 14, 2016

Format: Paperback

Additive, interesting and clear perspectives on the Golden Rule for those attempting to understand how a concept so ubiquitous in religious and secular teachings can be so frequently ignored. The author makes a compelling argument for the Golden Rule as the philosophical perspective in win-win exchanges while pointing out its failings when confronted with win-lose situations. Importantly, he also points out that many choose to operate from a win-lose perspective when win-win options are both readily available and preferable. A strong addition to compelling explorations of the Golden Rule by Harry Gensler, Jeffrey Wattles and many others.

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