This is a wonderful resource for Christian couples! I plan to give it to my friends and family members as part of their wedding gift. I really enjoy and benefit from Sheila Wray Gregorie's books. A little back information: I am almost 30, have 3 children, and have been married for close to 7 years.
One thing that stuck out to me was when Sheila says, in chapter 7, "But instead of listening to understand [my husband], I was listening for loopholes." I cannot agree enough as I too struggle with this tendency. I will wait to hear my husband use phrases like "you ALWAYS do ________" or "you NEVER do __________" and then try and prove him wrong with whatever "proof" I can come up with, and then like Sheila said, "All I had to do was find an exception and I could leave his argument in the dust!" This is something I've decided just isn't worth it anymore. It does nothing to improve my marriage and does nothing to improve my communication with my husband.
Sheila also provides "action steps" throughout each chapter to help apply whatever 9 thoughts she discusses. For example, she challenges you to identify your unmet needs in your marriage, and then explains how you should discuss these with your spouse (writing them down all at once, with both spouses having the opportunity to identify their unmet needs, and discussing in a kind and loving manner.)
This book was extremely easy to read, and I felt like I was listening to a wise, seasoned wife who was taking the time to discuss these issues with me in a heart-to-heart. There is humor, there is understanding, and there is truth. Too many times I try and talk to a friend about an issue I'm having, and we end up just both complaining about whatever problems we are facing in our marriage. Sheila challenges you to dig deeper instead of just find a gal-pal who can commiserate with you, even if what you're talking to your friend about is as lighthearted as airing frustrating about your husband's inability to throw a wrapper in a trash can instead of leaving it out on the counter. I have found that the more I bring up such lighthearted issues about my marriage with my friends, the more frustration builds up with whatever other issues I'm having in my marriage. So, stop. Closely examine your heart and be open to biblical instruction and advice from a wife who has been there. Sheila is offering her advice in this book for the taking, and i'm so grateful she has!
I have already begun to implement some of the things Sheila recommends. My marriage is improving! But I have to say, if you are not also adjusting your attitude and thoughts in repentance, and dealing with these issues with Jesus, you're not going to get anywhere. Sheila mentions this in her book too, in various ways. If you're not willing to humble yourself and admit you need to work on some things and that it's not JUST your husband that is giving you issues, you won't have any improvement. But if you go into this with a willing heart, and are willing to let your thoughts and attitudes be challenged...this is a great resource to use.
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Top reviews from other countries
Amazon Customer
I absolutely loved this book
Reviewed in Canada on January 29, 2018Laura Alice
An excellent, Christian book about marriage
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 20, 2018
Sonya Palaisy
If recommend it for anyone whether you'rea newlywed or looking time ...
Reviewed in Canada on October 14, 2015
