As an up-and-coming authoritarian leader of a small country, I have found this multi tool handy for advancing my agendas, both hidden and not. For instance, the electric knife came in handy to cut the turkey when my family came to Christmas along with the hermetically sealed poison vial which helped to alleviate relatives who suffered from indigestion which can appear symptomatically like not being loyal enough during after dinner conversation. This way I knew I would have a good base of power to work from when I used the sniper rifle and attachments to ascend to the throne. Among the plethora of knives on this tool, I found an assortment of assassin’s daggers that helped me remove the check and balances in the military bureaucracy and the employees who were resistant to the changes a forward-thinking dictator such as myself might need. An example of the research and planning that must have gone into the design and production of this tool is the mine tracking tool. As my agenda has grown to match my accumulated power, I had an entire division of the army dedicated to the laying of extensive mine zones in the effort to assuage my growing paranoia of my neighbor countries and with the tool I can check the status of them any time I wake up sweating in the middle of the night. Pair with that the missile defense system monitor and the interface for my spy satellites and I can almost sleep through the xenophobia and rabid fear of everything that doesn’t fit into my cultural norms because it wasn’t conveniently located in my line of sight as a child. Yes, I have to say this tool has come to occupy a central role in my own religious beliefs even convincing me that an outside power has put this tool in my path to make me invincible and to raise my status on the world stage. With that in mind, the secret forces that I commissioned recently have been working with the sparing dummy attachment to train and the sewing tool along with the clothing dye tool kit will ensure that the false flag operation at the border that they have been training for will look legitimate enough to make even my own conscience believe that I'm attacking that country out of self-defense... or because it is my destiny... or because as my dad raised me I grew accustomed to people I cared about just disappearing and now relationships scare me so I kill anybody that takes on the semblance of familiarity, including whole countries... or because torturous screams in the morning are a kind of comfort after so many years of putting people to death and as the internal politics of my nation building has cooled no-one dares anything remotely resembling motions of possible disagreement with me so I have to turn my psychopathic nature to the peoples outside my country to fulfill my urges... or because I'm breathing. Anyways, this tool is a god send for any tyrant to-be.
It's perfect, but...
I let my son use the scoop attachment to dig some sand while playing in a sandbox. Had to leave him for just under a minute to get some lemonade, and came back to this...
