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War of the Robots

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Available on Prime
2.5 out of 5 stars (28) IMDb 2.7/10

War of the Robots

Starring:
Antonio Sabato, Yanti Somer
Runtime:
1 hour, 39 minutes

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Format: Amazon Video
We fight robots in this film. There are no robots fighting each other...and maybe android would be a more accurate word. "A gang of aliens" kidnap the professor and Lois, We send a ship after them. In a super bad plot point, the professor must return in 8 days because he is the only person who can prevent the satellite reactor from exploding. Actually reactors, if left alone will burn themselves out and shut down as long as it has cooling. The problem is that our kidnapped twosome doesn't want to come back.

Oh boy. This is MST material. The film copies aspects of Star Trek and Star Wars and not too well. The light sabres are laughable. They appear to regular prop swords painted white with the tip cut off. The fighting choreography was LOL funny. There are slaves with zap rings (The Gamesters of Triskelion) and most people, including all the "robots" wore a pageboy bob hair-do. I guess some things never go out of style.

Another laugh was that they had "anti-radiation space suits" which of course didn't cover the head. Such a suit would be heavy and make walking a chore.

And the sound track was a laugh too.

Tough film to sit through. Almost worth a punch on a hacker card.

Parental Guide: No f-bombs, sex or nudity.
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Format: Amazon Video Verified Purchase
This is an Italian movie released in 1978. It has so so English dubbing. The special effects are also so so also. Essentially the plot of the movie are 2 geneticists from Earth are kidnapped by aliens who need their help. The government of Earth sends people to rescue them and that leads to the war mentioned in the title. Basically there's no reason to give a detailed plot of the movie. I watched it all the way through, it wasn't great but it did entertain me for some reason. Not sure exactly why, but it did.
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Format: DVD
This is one of the worst transfers ever. This DVD is blurry and out of focus and made more obvious the better your TV is. There is a version on that box set of 50 Sci-fi movies for $10 that you've seen at some retailers, (that's 20 cents a movie!). Shame on Cheezy Flicks for not even making an effort. Cheezy Flicks should not be putting out such poor product. I will never buy anything from Cheezy Flicks again and I will encourage everyone to do the same. Always scroll down to see who is putting out the release before buying, and if it's Cheezy Flicks, just say NO, NO, NEVER!!!
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Format: DVD
***SPOILER ALERT***
War of the Robots. had to be made around the time the Astroids game came out. Some Blonde Headed Robots with type hair cuts, Capture some Scientists and his beautiful assistant and take them to outer space. Mean while hero comes along with a basic light saber (Did this come before Star wars??). and ray guns was a flashlight, point and shoot. Had a few funny spots, I think this is a mixture and incentive for Star Wars mixed with Star Trek. I think that this movie was inspiration for Gene Roddenberry of Star Trek mixed with inspiration for Star Wars Movies.
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Format: Amazon Video
This has to be one of the worse sci-fi movies made on earth! As a matter of fact, they had to try on purpose to make a movie this bad. Bad acting, horrible plot bad special effects. The best part of this movie was when we had enough and watched something else!!!!!!!

Need I say more?
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Format: DVD
For anyone familiar with Alpha Video, this is another one of their cheapies with "Grindhouse" packaging that made use of the intentional Grindhouse feel of movies that "Planet Terror" and "Death Proof" tried to bring back/ recall around 2007. Between the two movies "It's Alive" (no, not the scary mutant freak baby movie) has that exploitation sense to it while "War of the Robots" is a cheap Italian Star Wars rip-off.

"War of the Robots"

There's a lot of useless dialogue and meandering action in this slow roller that features long bowl-cut white-haired robots (those were some real bad wigs) that looked like androgynous males with big fake guns. They were helping keep cave dwelling sub-terrans down until those subsurface mutant men were freed by our gallant space crew. There's some fun schtick when the astronauts are leading the space men to safety but when we get to outer space we have to endure a nearly 30" "space war" that looks worse than your kid attaching their model rocket to a sloping fishing line and lighting a match to the end of it. Ho hum humdrum in outer space! That kills this movie which I'll give 2.25 stars. If they would've kept the space ace fighting to a minimum it could have elevated this movie to 2.75 and there are some fine 1970s looking ladies in this film, though the grainy print doesn't let you admire them too much.

"It's Alive"

The better of the two movies if for no other reason that it has Tommy Kirk ("Old Yeller") and a straightforward narrative that is compelling and quite sinister. The story finds a couple off the beaten path and stopping by an out-of-the-way house to make a phone call.
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Format: DVD
First, "War of the Robots":

This version was shown at a B-Movie festival in 2010, and it had people crying out for the movie to end about 4/5s through. The dubbing is bad, and the acting and plot are hard to understand and bereft of any life at all. On the other hand, Yanti Somer is cute...

There really aren't any robots per se, and there's not much of a war unless you consider the uninspired, mind-numbing space battle in the last 30 minutes of the movie a "war".

What sets this print apart, hilariously, is that after a character dies in this seemingly interminable space battle, a few minutes later the movie SKIPS BACK to a part where he is suddenly alive again and states (again) "It's hard to get away from me!" This had many people bewildered and laughing at the Festival. I have another copy of this movie, and the mistake doesn't happen there. Thanks for the flub, Alpha Cinema!

The second movie, "It's Alive!", is not the 1970's horror flick. It's a sub-par, creepy-but-ultimately-bland and silly movie about some hill-billy in the Ozarks (but who's caring?) who traps people and feeds them to his cave-dwelling lizard monster. It has Tommy Kirk to prod the film along... there's a long, coma-inducing flashback, and overall it's another tough movie to trudge through.

Lots of room for making fun of these films if you have the fortitude to tough it out, not for the faint of heart.

Three stars because of the unintentional misprint hilarity, and because I have no idea how to rate such an amazing mess of movies.
Oh! And alpha cinema has a "Coming Attractions" feature that has some great cheesy trailers, an added bonus.
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