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William M. Struthers
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Wired for Intimacy: How Pornography Hijacks the Male Brain Kindle Edition

by William M. Struthers (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 546 ratings
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Pornography is powerful. Our contemporary culture as been pornified, and it shapes our assumptions about identity, sexuality, the value of women and the nature of relationships. Countless Christian men struggle with the addictive power of porn. But common spiritual approaches of more prayer and accountability groups are often of limited help.In this book neuroscientist and researcher William Struthers explains how pornography affects the male brain and what we can do about it. Because we are embodied beings, viewing pornography changes how the brain works, how we form memories and make attachments. By better understanding the biological realities of our sexual development, we can cultivate healthier sexual perspectives and interpersonal relationships. Struthers exposes false assumptions and casts a vision for a redeemed masculinity, showing how our sexual longings can actually propel us toward sanctification and holiness in our bodies.With insights for both married and single men alike, this book offers hope for freedom from pornography.

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  1. ISBN-13
    978-0830837007
  2. Publisher
    IVP
  3. Publication date
    December 15, 2009
  4. Language
    English
  5. File size
    972 KB
  6. See all details
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Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
546 global ratings

Customers say

Customers find the book insightful, useful, and helpful for understanding neurological issues. They also describe it as an excellent read for anyone confused or wondering how pornography hijacks a man's brain. Readers praise the content as wonderful, well-written, and thought-provoking.

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54 customers mention "Information quality"54 positive0 negative

Customers find the book insightful, useful, and helpful in understanding neurological issues. They say it's a good blend of science and theology and reaches the mind and heart. Readers also mention the book has a spiritual component.

"...D at Wheaton. This means this book has a very unique, neurological perspective, as most books on pornography are going to be by counselors and/or..." Read more

"...in a way that acknowledges all of its dimensions--moral, ethical, psychological, spiritual and physical...." Read more

"Concise, with a good balance of science and Theology without one overwhelming the other...." Read more

"...For women, it offers a physiological glimpse into the male mind so that a better understanding of what goes on in the male mind is revealed...." Read more

49 customers mention "Readability"44 positive5 negative

Customers find the book excellent, great, and well-written. They say it's a good reference book and reader-friendly. Readers also appreciate the great tables and well-stated and developed content.

"...This is both tragic to see and wonderful to learn -- it's much easier to avoid touching a stove when you comprehend exactly how the burns would..." Read more

"Concise, with a good balance of science and Theology without one overwhelming the other...." Read more

"...But, for me, it doesn't change the fact that the entire content of the book is wonderful, well-written, and thought-provoking...." Read more

"...Great book, great help for anyone looking for answers in this technological world that has to some extent..." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

B. Cravens
5.0 out of 5 stars Men: Read This Now
Reviewed in the United States on February 22, 2012
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***DISCLAIMER: I'd hope when reading any sort of scientific or recovery book, people would take the time to research the author and specifically what school he researches at before purchasing their book. This is definitely a Christian book intended mostly for a Christian audience or someone open to that.***

Author William Struthers teaches the subject of neurology with a Ph.D at Wheaton. This means this book has a very unique, neurological perspective, as most books on pornography are going to be by counselors and/or pastors. This book tends to take a much more scientific approach in some chapters, lending to a better understanding for just how porn latches on to the brain. This is both tragic to see and wonderful to learn -- it's much easier to avoid touching a stove when you comprehend exactly how the burns would destroy your hand.

This is not a typical recovery book. The author will not simply give you practical ways to stop watching porn. He instead addresses how watching pornography reveals the deeper need for intimacy in males. When that need combines with both our sinful nature and a corrupted image of true masculinity in our culture, the result is seeking out unhealthy, unsatisfying forms of "false intimacy" that ultimately destroy the lives of men -- porn. I hope you can see from this review that Struthers' work is more than a self-help book. It is much deeper and much more needed than that.

So this book is less about pornography than it is about intimacy. God "wired" humans to be in His image and to receive their deepest needs for intimacy from Him, from a spouse, and other healthy friendships. Not from their computer screens or prostitutes.

I see a lot of criticism for this book because it's 'not practical enough'. I truly feel those reviewers have either missed the point of the book or didn't read it in its entirety. Anyone knows that to erase a tree you have to uproot it completely, and sins and struggles in the lives of humans are no different. He does give some practical advice for stopping a pornography addiction in the last chapter, and I think the brief yet big ideas he addresses suffice. As the author implied, when a man sets it in his heart to repent and let go of an addiction, a mere book is not going to be the sole savior anyway.

Some of the best parts of the book are in the second half dealing with true masculinity. Chapter six outlines what really makes a man Biblically versus what society says, and it's so great I wish some feminists I know would read it.

One caveat of the book is that at times it feels a bit inaccessible. Because there are some science-heavy parts, some chapters feel either drawn out or like Struthers goes on small tangents that seem a bit irrelevant to the chapter as a whole. Fortunately, this is only a couple cases and does not detract from the book's message at all. Also, I feel the subtitle ("How pornography hijacks the male brain") is a bit misleading, for the book is not solely a scientific exploration. It touches on so much more, which is what makes it a 5-star book instead of a 4-star.

Every man needs to make the effort and read this book. It will convict and rip your heart apart to see why men feel the need to look at a girl's body instead of their face on first sight or, even more sadly, during conversation. It will sadden you to read how men have lost the ability to appreciate female beauty without making it erotic. It will break you to learn about the neurological buildup that traps so many men into pornography addiction when God intended that buildup for the safe confines of marriage. Of course, brokenness is required if one wishes to repent and give their lives to God.

Most men have an intimacy problem today, which is why they really watch porn. I just hope they get around to seeing that and stumbling upon this direly-needed book.
67 people found this helpful
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Tim Challies
5.0 out of 5 stars We Need This Book
Reviewed in the United States on January 3, 2013
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I read recently of a researcher who wanted to study the effects of pornography on young adult males. He carefully built the structure for the study, determining how he would compare young men who had experienced pornography with a control group comprised of those who had never come into contact it. Tragically this researcher had to cancel his study. He found that he was unable to put together a control group; he could not find young men who had not discovered pornography. The experiment was impossible to conduct.

That is the kind of society we live in today, a society that is absolutely overwhelmed with pornography. The lure of porn is almost irresistible, particularly to young men. If the devil wanted to find a way of destroying young men, of impacting the ability for men to relate properly to women, of disrupting families and hardening hearts, he could hardly do better than this.

Much has been written in recent years about pornography. But new to store shelves is a book that is different from all the others, at least all of the other books targeted at a Christian audience. William Struthers' Wired for Intimacy looks not primarily to the heart but to the brain. He shows how the male brain is hard-wired for intimacy and relationships and how pornography affects the male brain. He says "Men seem to be wired in such a way that pornography hijacks the proper functioning of their brains and has a long-lasting effect on their thoughts and lives. ... When we better understand the devastating spiritual, psychological, social and biological reality of how pornography violates our unique position in God's creation, we will be better able to minister to hose who have been wounded by it."

What he provides is a well-rounded understanding of how pornography affects men. He looks beyond the usual--beyond the moral and ethical and legal and even spiritual. He shows that pornography is also a physical matter, "rooted in the biological intricacies of our sexual design." Though there is value in books that look from the other angles, "calls to pray harder, move the computer to the living room and get plugged into an accountability group only go so far. They come across as hollow to many men whose brains have been altered and rewired by their experiences with pornography. They have trained their brains to respond sexually to the pornography they consume."

Though there is value in reading this entire book, the heart of the book is the brain. In one chapter right in the middle of the book Struthers provides a primer on the brain and shows both how sexuality is hard-wired into the brain and how pornography can disrupt that God-given capacity. He shows that in many ways the male brain is built as an ideal receiver for pornography; the capacity of the brain to pursue intimacy with a wife is very easily disrupted and perverted by a desire to look at pornography. The wiring that ought to be used to pursue intimacy with one woman can easily be disrupted and used to pursue a kind of false intimacy with an endless succession of women. Men who have become consumed with pornography will have to admit with the author that "they have unknowingly created a neurological circuit that imprisons their ability to see women rightly as created in God's image. Repeated exposure to pornography creates a one-way neurological superhighway where a man's mental life is over-sexualized and narrowed. It is hemmed in on either side by high containment walls making escape nearly impossible."

What Struthers both claims and (at least to my mind) proves is that looking at pornography and acting out to it creates neural pathways that disrupt the "normal" pathways. As pornography use and acting out to it become habitual, the pathways become more and more pronounced and, therefore, more difficult to overcome. Soon a man has rewired his brain in such a way that true intimacy becomes a challenge. Pornography addiction and sexual compulsion is built in the brain and involves "the visual system (looking at porn), the motor system (masturbating), the sensory system (genital stimulation) and neurological effect of orgasm (sexual euphoria from opiates, addictive dopamine in the nucleus accumbens and reduced fear in the amygdale). They have now begun to store this pattern as a reinforced neurological habit." Seeing how he gets here and seeing how the various parts of the brain work together to make a man desire sexual fulfillment is well worth the price of the book.

The author's work in showing how the brain can be rewired (and miswired) through pornography is undoubtedly the most important contribution of the book. But I found great benefit in looking at his description of the sexual nature of the brain outside the context of pornography. Here we see how God has fearfully and wonderfully constructed human sexuality and has deeply integrated it into the inner workings of the brain. This section proves that a man's desire to make love to his wife is not purely psychological or even mental, but something that is deeply neurological. I hardly even know how to describe it except to urge you to read this book and discover it for yourself. You will stand amazed at what God has done.

Before I close let me say that some Christians may be tempted to assume that Struthers will defend men who look at pornography claiming that "their brains made them do it." But this is not at all the case. While the male brain does predispose men to be drawn to nudity and drawn to images of sexuality, this does not provide an excuse for indulging. To the contrary, it challenges men to be exceedingly careful about what they view and it makes them doubly responsible before God for images they've consumed. The implications of the neurological basis for human sexuality call men to purity before God in a whole new way.

Wired for Intimacy is a book we need. With pornography increasingly reaching epidemic proportions, this book helps us understand it at a whole new level. And it calls us to deal with human sexuality in a way that acknowledges all of its dimensions--moral, ethical, psychological, spiritual and physical. I give Wired for Intimacy my highest recommendation.
23 people found this helpful
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Lyle Dodson
4.0 out of 5 stars Knowing Why and How ,helps us resist and defeat the What!
Reviewed in the United States on April 14, 2019
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Concise, with a good balance of science and Theology without one overwhelming the other. As a Christian who considers himself well read , I appreciated the tactful way with which the author dealt with a very sensory based and destructive addiction. There is hope and freedom only by knowing ,applying ,and turning away from the flesh and towards our redeemer.
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Top reviews from other countries

Leonardo Sá
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book for Christians
Reviewed in Brazil on October 7, 2024
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Unlike "Your brain on pornography", this book has a more Christian approach, but it doesn't mean they fail on showing the scientific aspect of it, they actually work fine together. And the tips are helpful.
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Subrata Datta
3.0 out of 5 stars An Important Contribution
Reviewed in India on March 6, 2016
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William M Struthers being a devout Christian, the issue of pornography-addiction has been examined from a Christian perspective and the solutions offered are Scripture-inspired. But given the onslaught of internet pornography and the havoc it is wrecking, Struthers’ message remains valid across the cultural and religious divides. An important contribution to the ongoing battle against online pornography.
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M Jacobs
5.0 out of 5 stars A well thought out and freeing look at the toxic and prevalent topic of pornography.
Reviewed in Canada on November 9, 2013
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If you are a citizen of the world there is no escaping what you take in visually on a daily basis, with regards to pornographic or erotic imagery.

This book has christian values sewn through it, yet is broad enough on topic to appeal to the masses. If you happen to come across this book from a seeking for a “way out” of an addiction to pornography, believer or not, this book will inform you, relate to you and reveal what the framework for healthy sexuality is (with a biblical worldview).

With a simple read of a book the information is not too complex to understand, yet, bears a weight of the seriousness of porn and the misplacement of what porn really is and what role in plays in our mental, physical and spiritual lives.

The science in this book brings a sobering exposure that your brain, mainly mentioned; the male brain, is wired in such a way that there are processes/ neurological circuits that dictate behaviour, mood and general outcomes based on how you relate to porn.

I am by no means a reader, however, i consumed this book and flipped the pages feverently for the exposing science, the liberation and reminder of God and the Gospel with real practical applications makes this a go-to book for anyone who, on the spectrum of sexual struggle, wants to be rid of feelings of being trapped, ashamed, dirty, or just to know why what is working out is happening to them, then look no further than this book, a ~$15 you won’t regret spending.

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Melba
5.0 out of 5 stars Enlightening
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 9, 2011
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Excellent well presented book, "Wired for intimacy" is a vital, ground breaking thorough piece of work, offering the reader a scientific explanation of how pornography impacts the human brain. People are hard-wired for intimacy and relationships but in a society saturated with pornography with very few restrictions or censorship, relationships and families are breaking down as increasing numbers of men and women succumb to the addictive nature of pornography. Men in particular need to understand how their sexual choices affect their brains and their relationships and crucially their humanity.Countless men struggle with the addictive power of porn. Neuroscientist and researcher William Struthers explains that because we are embodied beings viewing sexual images changes how the brain works. By better understanding the biological realities of our sexual development we can cultivate healthier sexual perspectives and interpersonal relationships which will benefit the individual and will ultimately benefit society. This book should become more widely available in senior schools to equip young men (and women) at an early age with sound information on the impact porn has on the human brain so that they have an informed choice before addiction becomes the severe problem it is for countless users.
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ながしましんいちろう
4.0 out of 5 stars Needs translation
Reviewed in Japan on April 22, 2013
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Read with enthusiasm about a year ago. Now thinking about translating into Japanese. Many men are hooked with porno. Sad and tragic. People need to know that pornography works like drugs.
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