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Two and a Half Men 12 Seasons 2004

Season 1
4.7 out of 5 stars (281) IMDb 7.1/10

Charlie Sheen and Jon Cryer star in this Emmy?-nominated comedy about two brothers and a precocious kid. Charlie Harper is a bachelor in paradise - complete with Malibu beach house, overpaid job and an incredibly active dating life. When his uptight brother, Alan, in the throes of a divorce, moves in - and brings his 10-year-old son, Jake, with him, suddenly, it looks like paradise lost. Sorry Charlie.

Starring:
Jon Cryer, Angus T. Jones

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Season 1
1. Pilot

Commercial jingle writer Charlie Harper (series star CHARLIE SHEEN) is a wealthy bachelor with a house at the beach, a Jaguar in the garage and an easy way with women. But his Malibu lifestyle is interrupted when his uptight chiropractor brother, Alan (series star JON CRYER), arrives unexpectedly with Alan's 10-year-old son, Jake (series star ANGUS T. JONES).

TV-NR CC Runtime: 22 minutes Release date: September 22, 2003

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2. Big Flappy Bastards

Unsure how to properly discipline Jake, Charlie ignores him after the child "forgets" to stop feeding the seagulls and leaves the door open. As a result, the gaggle of birds enters the house. Meanwhile, Alan gets a surprise from Judith when he goes home to fix her sprinklers.

TV-NR CC Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: September 29, 2003
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3. Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell

When Alan's attempt to provide Jake with a fun-filled father/son weekend backfires, Charlie tries to console his brother by taking him to a local bar and getting Alan totally inebriated. As Alan and Charlie travel home, their meddling Cab Driver (DARRYL SIVAD), hearing the brothers' woes about their narcissistic, controlling mother, offers them some unsolicited therapy.

TV-NR CC Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: October 6, 2003
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4. If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap

Charlie's longtime cleaning lady, Berta (recurring guest star CONCHATA FERRELL), quits her job, and Charlie quickly realizes he can't function without her. When Alan tries to take Berta's place but doesn't succeed, Charlie sends him to lure her back. Meanwhile, Alan places Charlie in charge of getting Jake ready for Judith, who is coming to take her son out for a nice dinner with her parents. Rock star STEVEN TYLER of the band Aerosmith does a voice-over as himself.

TV-NR CC Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: October 13, 2003
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5. Last Thing You Want is to Wind Up with a Hump

After a drunken night in Las Vegas, Charlie reluctantly attends one of Jake's soccer games. But Alan and Charlie soon discover the advantages of going to these matches. The players' mothers are quite attractive, and Charlie makes a date with a particularly sexy soccer mom. Meanwhile, when two single mothers discover that Alan is newly available, they "hit" on him--literally.

TV-NR CC Runtime: 18 minutes Release date: October 20, 2003
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6. Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?

Charlie rethinks the way he treats women when he, Alan and Jake are forced to cheer up a pitiful Evelyn after her serious new boyfriend terminates their relationship. Meanwhile, Charlie teaches Jake some valuable lessons about screening calls from women, but the lesson backfires when Jake reveals a little too much about what he's learned to a disapproving Alan.

TV-NR CC Runtime: 20 minutes Release date: October 27, 2003
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7. If They Do Go Either Way They're Usually Fake

Charlie's beautiful friend Cindy (KRISTIN DATTILO) frequently showers at Charlie's house after surfing. When Jake sees a butterfly tattoo on Cindy's partially nude behind and later draws a picture of it in his classroom, Judith gets angry and goes to talk with Alan and Charlie about letting her son see half naked women.

TV-NR CC Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: November 3, 2003
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8. Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful

When Alan and Judith argue during a rehearsal of a play that Jake and his classmates are rehearsing, Charlie is forced to handle a roomful of fourth graders alone. The kids think Charlie is a loser until they realize he wrote the "Maple Loops" cereal jingle.

TV-NR CC Runtime: 19 minutes Release date: November 10, 2003
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9. Phase One, Complete

Charlie likes his sweet new girlfriend, Wendy (MYNDY CRIST), but he becomes concerned when Jake forms a strong friendship with her. When Wendy charms Evelyn as well, Charlie worries that Wendy is expecting more from the relationship than he is and ends it. But when Jake gets mad at him, Charlie learns an important lesson.

TV-NR CC Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: November 17, 2003
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10. Merry Thanksgiving

When Charlie finds out that his favorite former girlfriend, Lisa (DENISE RICHARDS - "Scary Movie 3," "Undercover Brother"), is getting married, he desperately tries to prove to her that he has become a better family man than her fiance, despite his inability to commit to her.

TV-NR CC Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: November 24, 2003
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11. Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

Charlie and Jake convince Alan to get a makeover when it appears Judith is moving forward since the breakup, sporting a new hairdo and new date. Alan realizes he may truly be in need of a change when his own son tells him he doesn't look cool.

TV-NR CC Runtime: 20 minutes Release date: December 15, 2003
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12. Camel Filters and Pheremones

When Charlie's cleaning woman, Berta (recurring guest star CONCHATA FERRELL), brings her sexy and rebellious 16-year-old daughter, Prudence (MEGAN FOX), to Charlie's house, Jake develops a childish infatuation with her--and Charlie and Alan try to restrain their interest in the flirtatious minor as well.

TV-NR CC Runtime: 20 minutes Release date: January 5, 2004
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13. Sarah Like Puny Alan

Alan worries that Charlie will become infected with Jake's contagious cold; however, Alan gets sick instead. Jake heals, and Charlie is fine. Desperate to get a date with a sexy woman, Charlie volunteers a very reluctant Alan to escort the woman's sister, turning the date into a foursome.

TV-NR CC Runtime: 20 minutes Release date: January 12, 2004
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14. I Can't Afford Hyenas

When Charlie learns that his credit rating is ruined, and his debts are all overdue, he discovers that his accountant, Stan (RICHARD LEWIS), is completely inept. At Alan's urging, Charlie tries to reduce his spending habits, but he has a difficult time giving up his luxuries.

TV-NR CC Runtime: 20 minutes Release date: February 2, 2004
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15. Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick

Charlie and Alan find Frankie (recurring guest star JENNA ELFMAN - "Dharma & Greg," "Looney Tunes: Back in Action"), a sexy but seemingly crazy woman, hitting a car with a baseball bat. Despite Alan's warnings, Charlie becomes totally infatuated with her.

TV-NR CC Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: February 9, 2004
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16. That Was Saliva, Alan

Frankie (recurring guest star JENNA ELFMAN), the beautiful and intriguing lady whom Charlie and Alan brought home after finding her bashing her therapist's car with a baseball bat, explains why she's in hiding with her 8-year-old daughter, Joanie (recurring guest star JULIETTE GOGLIA).

TV-NR CC Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: February 16, 2004
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17. Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats

Alan offends Charlie by choosing their crazy cousins as Jake's guardians if he and Judith were to die. Later, Alan does some errands and leaves Jake with Charlie, who's still sulking over Alan's will. As the two play basketball, Jake falls, hitting his head.

TV-NR CC Runtime: 20 minutes Release date: February 23, 2004
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18. An Old Flame With a New Wick

Charlie agrees to meet with a former girlfriend who ended their relationship years earlier, leaving Charlie devastated. But Charlie's in for a huge surprise when he discovers that she is now a he, and he, Bill (CHRIS O'DONNELL - "Batman & Robin"), wants to be Charlie's friend. Initially disturbed by the sex change revelation, Charlie relents and befriends Bill.

TV-NR CC Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: March 1, 2004
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19. I Remember the Coat Room, I Just Don't Remember You

Judith's sinister-but-sexy sister, Liz (TERI HATCHER - "Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman," "Tomorrow Never Dies"), plans to attend Jake's 11th birthday party. Alan asks Charlie--who had sex with Liz in the coatroom at Judith and Alan's wedding--to behave. But when Liz arrives, she ignores Charlie and flirts with Alan instead.

TV-NR CC Runtime: 19 minutes Release date: March 22, 2004
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20. Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark

Jake becomes a brooding musician when he continuously plays "Smoke on the Water" on his guitar with an ever-present grumpy attitude. In order to cheer him up, Alan tries a father/son chat, Charlie offers a jam session and Berta (recurring guest star CONCHATA FERRELL) just thinks the kid is constipated.

TV-NR CC Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: April 19, 2004
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21. No Sniffing, No Wowing

Alan takes Charlie to meet with his sexy and determined divorce attorney, Laura (HEATHER LOCKLEAR - "Spin City," "Melrose Place"), after Judith expresses concern that Charlie is a bad influence on Jake. Charlie and Laura begin a sexual relationship.

TV-NR CC Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: May 3, 2004
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22. My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet

Alan succumbs to Judith's demand that they take Jake to therapy every week because "it's what all the other divorced parents are doing," but he doesn't realize that he, too, is having issues ... with sleepwalking. Evelyn hints to Charlie that Alan used to sleepwalk as a child, leading Charlie to come up with a clever new solution to Alan's recurring problem.

TV-NR CC Runtime: 20 minutes Release date: May 10, 2004
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23. Just Like Buffalo

When Jake imitates one of Charlie's sexist remarks in front of Judith's support group, the women decide that Charlie's home is an unfit environment for the child. With the women's approval, Judith agrees to let Alan see Jake on weekends, but not at Charlie's place. Charlie must cajole the support group in order to win his nephew back.

TV-NR CC Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: May 17, 2004
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24. Can You Feel My Finger?

One of Charlie's many women fears she's pregnant, and Charlie is relieved when the lady finds out she's not. When Alan realizes that this is not Charlie's first pregnancy scare, he suggests a permanent solution for Charlie--a vasectomy. Charlie's doctor recommends freezing some sperm in case Charlie changes his mind about having children, but things don't go quite as planned.

TV-NR CC Runtime: 21 minutes Release date: May 24, 2004
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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: DVD
For once, Australia actually has something first. We have this first season on DVD and I love it. It is such a funny funny show and I was so surprised that Charlie Sheen is as funny in this as he is. Charlie's brother Alan comes to stay with him (and brings along his son) when he gets a divorce.

You all know how funny this is and you don't need another reminder, so I'll just give you the run down of what's on these four discs.

1. PILOT - Deal Him In. Charlie's poker night with the boys includes a genuine boy - 10 year old Jake.

2. BIG FLAPPY BASTARDS. Talk about gull-ible. Seagulls invade the house when Jake won't stop feeding the feathered freeloaders.

3. GO EAST ON SUNSET UNTIL YOU REACH THE GATES OF HELL. Tequila shots and a philosophical cabbie lead Charlie and Alan to a confrontation with their mother.

4. IF I CAN'T WRITE MY CHOCOLATE SONG I'M GOING TO TAKE A NAP. The most important woman in Charlie's life - his cleaning lady - walks out.

5. LAST THING YOU WANT IS TO WIND UP WITH A HUMP. Charlie and Alan discover a great place to score: Jake's soccer games, home of single soccer moms.

6. DID YOU CHECK WITH THE CAPTAIN OF THE FLYING MONKEYS? A new dad for Charlie and Alan? Evelyn flips for a beau ... until he drops her like a bag of cement.

7. IF THEY DO GO EITHER WAY, THEY'RE USUALLY FAKE. Jake spies a tattoo on a pretty girl's half-bare bottom, then draws the naked truth for a school assignment.

8. TWENTY-FIVE LITTLE PRE-PUDERS WITHOUT A SNOOT-FUL. Fourth grade - the musical. Charlie 'volunteers' to writea salute to the Industrial Revolution for Jake's class.

9. PHASE ONE, COMPLETE. What's wrong with Miss Right?
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Format: DVD
Most of my friends who have seen this show wouldn't think twice before they concurred: it's flat out hilarious. I had my reservations about Charlie Sheen in a role not unlike his cameo at the tail-end of Spin City--a suave yuppie and a consummate Lothario--but he is the delight of this party! Few can fit so snugly in the role of a relaxed, affluent young retiree lounging in his Malibu seafront apartment when he's not effortlessly schmoozing with the opposite gender. He's at his wry sharpest.

There's excellent chemistry between him and Jon Cryer, who plays his uptight, righteous elder brother. As they tackle mature subjects such as frivolous relationships and artificial insemination and pretty much everything that surrounds this nature of things, the brother's smart-mouthed son is kept ever so cleverly in the dark. These parallel tracks of young and old humor lend the show some sparkling dimensions. The little boy, Angus Jones, is a natural. Some of us may have seen him at the Emmy Awards last year. An outspoken housekeeper, a domineering mother, and a cutting curmudgeon of an ex-wife round out an ensemble cast; any episode featuring Holland Taylor's portrayal of a prim and proper modern-day mom of the two brothers in her crisp Chanel skirts and bright red lipstick can almost guarantee a laugh-riot.

The true hallmark of a successful sitcom is the degree to which you end up warming up to its characters. Amidst its spate of one-liners, 2&1/2 Men does a fairly decent job of making viewers relate to its characters. None of these archetypal characters is new, but each is idiosyncratic without being wildly over-the-top.
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Format: DVD
This show is a not to be missed program. I have loved it since it's first show. The entire cast make a great ensemble, working off of one another in great comedic timing. I have checked after every season to see if they will begin selling the DVD, I am sorry they have not yet made the series for public sale. I hope when they do, they put all of the current seasons on DVD and sell all of them in a boxed set. My vote would be a resounding yes for getting the DVD's out to the public. Thank You.
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Format: DVD Verified Purchase
This show is just way too much, WOW, we really enjoy seeing how they work the title into the conversation, BERTA is outstanding, we laugh so much we cry, CHARLIE is just outta sight great, ALAN plays a dimbo/nerd/square effortlessly, but we are thankful you dropped his bimbo second wife, and the kid JAKE is coming along just fine, ROSE is spacey/intelligent, but sweet, the MOTHER is just terrific as always, whatever she is starring in, she is too much. We look forward to Monday nights, the reruns are as good as watching it the first time, I have satellite and watch the early east feed and the late west feed, usually record it and watch it at lunch the next day with friends, it is the conversation topic for Tuesday, USA please get us the DVDs soon, we want our "Two and a Half Men" in our DVD library. Can't tell you how many people we have turned on to this show, but it is quite a few.
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Format: DVD Verified Purchase
Not having gotten into this show until 2006, I was pretty excited by the chance to purchase Season 1 on DVD. I wasn't disappointed!

The premise of the show centers around two very different brothers -- laidback, vice-filled jingle-writer Charlie (Charlie Sheen) and neurotic chiropractor Alan (Jon Cryer) -- who are forced to share Charlie's posh Malibu home after Alan's divorce. Along for the ride are Jake, Alan's young son, and Berta, Charlie's wise-cracking and crass housekeeper.

Particularly memorable episodes include "An Old Flame with a New Wick," where Charlie learns an old girlfriend has become a man; and "Big Flappy Bastards," where the guys try to get rid of a houseful of seagulls Jake accidentally let in.

Although many of the storylines quickly become familiar -- Charlie's careless one-night stands, Alan's money woes and battles with ex-wife Judith, both brothers' uncomfortable relationship with their less-than-maternal mother Evelyn -- they never turn stale. Perhaps it's because just as in life, we all have a number of ever-present situations, so it's to be expected that the Harpers also battle the same demons on a regular basis. But it could also be that the wit and grace with which "Two and Half Men" tackle every problem is very human, and guaranteed to bring viewers near their hearts -- flawed though they might be.

Those who enjoy DVD sets for the extras shouldn't be disappointed, as this set includes several -- a behind-the-scenes chat with cast and crew; a backstage tour with Angus T. Jones, who plays Jake; and bloopers.

Five stars for a show whose writing and acting is consistently fresh, never failing to provide its audience with new laughs.
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