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Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It Kindle Edition

4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 45,389 ratings

This international bestseller, with more than 3 million copies sold, offers a field-tested approach to high-stakes negotiations—whether in the boardroom, in your community, or at home.

Life is a series of negotiations, and negotiation is at the heart of collaboration—whether you are a business executive, a salesperson, a parent , a community leader, or a spouse. As a former FBI hostage negotiator, Chris Voss gives you the tools to be effective in any situation: negotiating a business deal, buying (or selling) a car, negotiating a salary, acquiring a home, renegotiating rent, deliberating with your partner, or communicating with your children. Taking the power of persuasion, empathy, active listening, and intuition to the next level, Never Split the Difference gives you the competitive edge in any difficult conversation or challenging situation. This book is a masterclass in influencing others, no matter the circumstances.

After a stint policing the rough streets of Kansas City, Chris Voss joined the FBI, where his career as a hostage negotiator brought him face-to-face with a range of criminals, including bank robbers and terrorists. Reaching the pinnacle of his profession, he became the FBI’s lead international kidnapping negotiator. Never Split the Difference distills the Voss method, revealing the skills that matter most when it comes to achieving your goals in both your professional and personal life.

Step-by-step, Voss show you how to:

  • Establish Rapport 
  • Create Trust with Tactical Empathy
  • Gain the Permission to Persuade 
  • Shape What Is Fair 
  • Calibrate Questions
  • Transform Conflict into Collaboration
  • Spot Liars
  • Create Breakthroughs by Revealing the Unknown Unknowns

Never Split the Difference is your definitive source for defusing potential crises, winning people over, and achieving your goals at work and at home.


Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
45,389 global ratings

Customers say

Customers find the book amazing, engaging, and well worth the time. They say it provides practical advice applicable to various areas of life. Readers also appreciate the negotiating techniques, stories, and content quality. They mention the book is full of fascinating, real-life stories that help understand.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

1,480 customers mention "Readability"1,443 positive37 negative

Customers find the book amazing, a must-read for anyone involved in business, and an easy read. They say the presentation and content are great. Readers also mention the book is worth every minute and conveys serious wisdom with humor.

"...Each chapter includes engaging theories on communication and actionable recommendations on how to improve your communication skills, while telling..." Read more

"...in the art of negotiation, and his steps are both simple enough to follow and understand, but also tied to real world examples he talks about...." Read more

"...It's a must-read for anyone, particularly those involved in business development, people management, freelancing, or parenting—essentially, anyone..." Read more

"...This is a remarkably engaging book, that reads like a novel, complete with reports of Voss’s gripping experiences chosen to highlight what he teaches..." Read more

971 customers mention "Information quality"969 positive2 negative

Customers find the book highly educational and engaging. They say it provides practical advice applicable to various areas of life. Readers mention the book is filled with treasures of useful insights and techniques to negotiate. They also appreciate that it gives just the right amount of information and is refreshing to read a book on skills that when applied brings results.

"...to the loss of lives, Was published in May of 2016 and is an extremely powerful book that tells the stories of negotiation when you really can’t..." Read more

"...are both simple enough to follow and understand, but also tied to real world examples he talks about...." Read more

"...The book provides practical advice applicable to various areas of life, whether you're a parent, partner, manager, or entrepreneur...." Read more

"...I’ve been struck again and again by how valuable these seemingly simple approaches can be...." Read more

341 customers mention "Negotiating skills"341 positive0 negative

Customers find the book full of very useful negotiation techniques. They say it teaches a radical new way to approach negotiation. Readers also mention the author provides great examples of previous negotiations. Overall, they describe the book as a good primer and fast reading on negotiating techniques.

"...Chris Voss hit the mark with this book, sharing effective tips and tools for negotiating in and beyond your workspace. “..." Read more

"...Chris Voss is a master in the art of negotiation, and his steps are both simple enough to follow and understand, but also tied to real world..." Read more

"...It’ll also teach you how to negotiate, but most of all, it’ll teach how to better communicate with people. :) I can’t wait to put it into practice." Read more

"...There are also some time tested techniques for difficult negotiations. All are backed up with real world examples and additional context...." Read more

302 customers mention "Story quality"271 positive31 negative

Customers find the stories engaging, interesting, and relatable. They describe the book as a fun read full of useful information. Readers also mention it sounds like a fiction adventure novel.

"...This book is a fun read full of useful information...." Read more

"...This is an wonderful book, filled with anecdotes from some of the most intense situations a person can be in, that of a hostage situation, and I..." Read more

"One of the best combinations of education and entertainment I have had the privilege to experience. Required re - reading." Read more

"...They are not gimmicks and feel nice techniques, they are personal and financial game changers." Read more

213 customers mention "Content quality"193 positive20 negative

Customers find the content fascinating, useful, and packed with life nuggets. They appreciate the great explanations and specific examples. Readers also mention the book is broken down into several great topics with a summary at the end of each chapter. They say it's detailed, relatable, and packed with the best ideas and strategies.

"...This book is perfect for educators, instructors, and presenters." Read more

"...Breaks down the steps with great explanations and specific examples." Read more

"...This book gives exact details into techniques, real word examples, and psychological explanations...." Read more

"...Plus, the examples are really cool." Read more

158 customers mention "Psychology"149 positive9 negative

Customers find the book builds on empathy and active listening skills. They say it serves as a good lesson in human behavior and psychology. Readers also mention it's an important book for everyone and helps them sift through conflicts and tensions.

"...Because of the strong lessons in this book, I believe it would be a great book for most young people to read...." Read more

"...calls the “late-night, FM DJ voice”: it is non-threating, soft, and calming...." Read more

"...It builds on empathy and active listening skills, layers on ways to label emotions and ask open-ended calibrated questions...." Read more

"...you’re a parent, employee, employer or friend this book will teach you to be humble, listen actively and help everyone get what they want without..." Read more

69 customers mention "Actionable"69 positive0 negative

Customers find the concepts and tactics in the book actionable. They say it provides tactics to uncover the essence of resistance, counterpart motivation, and hurdles to communication. Readers also describe the book as liberating and weapons-grade persuasion.

"...Each chapter includes engaging theories on communication and actionable recommendations on how to improve your communication skills, while telling..." Read more

"...a negotiation, one Voss calls the “late-night, FM DJ voice”: it is non-threating, soft, and calming...." Read more

"...gives a blueprint for all kinds of human interaction, in a very actionable manner." Read more

"...how the book breaks down negotiation tactics into digestible, actionable insights...." Read more

This is THE book to read for negotiation
5 out of 5 stars
This is THE book to read for negotiation
This book is absolutly amazing and has changed the way I look at conversations in the past present and future. I call it Moral manipulation! Give it a try you won’t regret it!
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Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on November 12, 2020
Everything we assumed we knew was wrong” (p.26), we are not rational, compromise is terrible, and “No” is the answer to getting what you want in and out of the office. These are all concepts that the reader can be expected to wholeheartedly believe and understand by the end of this book. Former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss hit the mark with this book, sharing effective tips and tools for negotiating in and beyond your workspace. “Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as Your Life Depends on It” is a 5-star read for those trying to enhance their “deal making skills” whether that be with work or personal relationships.
Prior to 2008, Chris Voss was the lead international kidnapping negotiator for the FBI. According to The Black Swan Group, through his 28 year with the Bureau, he was trained in negotiation by the FBI, Scotland Yard and Harvard Law School. Chris has taught business negotiation in the MBA program in several of the world’s best universities and business programs. Voss continues to host seminars and attend guest lectures and is rumored to be working on additional books.
“Never Split the Difference”, a euphemism for “never compromise” because compromise on the street often leads to the loss of lives, Was published in May of 2016 and is an extremely powerful book that tells the stories of negotiation when you really can’t afford to lose, like in a situation where you are negotiating for the lives of others. Each chapter includes engaging theories on communication and actionable recommendations on how to improve your communication skills, while telling intriguing stories of the life of an FBI agent. These stories include bank robberies, terrorists and a bunch of different “bad guys”. This book will not only help your business deals, but your personal relationships as well. Voss gives us more than just the advice on what to do, he shows us why they work as well.
This book is a fun read full of useful information. The new concepts in every chapter had me highlighting the techniques and lessons that I truly wanted to remember. The most important to me, being that you should never be so eager to solve a conflict that’s result is inconvenient for you. Accepting bad deals is almost always a mistake. Compromise isn’t always the answer, while pushing for a hard “yes” doesn’t get you any closer to a victory, it only angers the other party. And finally, “Driving towards “that's right” is a winning strategy in all negotiations. But hearing “you're right” is a disaster.” (p. 105)
Overall this is a wonderful book that teaches the reader that negotiation, at its core, is nothing more than conversations with reactions and results. Getting what you need from others will help set up the rest of your life. Chriss Voss will teach you how to take authority and show dominance in the conversations that will make or break your career. Because of the strong lessons in this book, I believe it would be a great book for most young people to read. Whether they are beginning their college career or creating their own blue-collar business, “Never Split the Difference” by Chris Voss is a great resource for people looking to better their life without looking for a designated “self-help” book. Remember: “... without self-control and emotional regulation…” (p 156) these strategies will not work.
36 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on July 8, 2017
Sometimes I feel like I buy books more often than I actually read book. It's not that I don't like reading, I do. I also love the idea of reading.

That said, this book was something that once I started reading, I couldn't put down. Chris Voss is a master in the art of negotiation, and his steps are both simple enough to follow and understand, but also tied to real world examples he talks about. In every chapter he talks about some of his biggest failures and greatest successes, and how he took to negotiation and the concepts that came with it.

If you want a story, while I was reading this book, I was going through a very tough point in my career. For several years I had worked in a department that was basically seen as the baby in the company, on a side-project that while lucrative had just 30 clients where our main products had over 1,000. My boss for years barely noticed me or what we did in our department, he managed two products himself, the bigger of the two in the larger customer base. For 3 years, I basically ran everything in the department, doing what I needed to do, being the go-to for people well above my role in anything my product needed. I enjoyed it. Eventually the company started to take note of this products success, and wanted to ramp it up. My boss, eager to take credit for the departments success, started taking a more active role, despite having almost little to no understanding of what we actually did. He was making questionable decisions and often impossible requests that highlighted just how little he knew. He was impossible to work with in this, because he was very much a my-way-or-the-highway kind of guy when it came to management, and would get frustrated by anything other than a firm yes to a request. In short, he was tanking the department I sunk my last 3 years in, and making my life miserable having to constantly either shoulder or make up for his unusual requests. Everything became a fight, including at one point a simple request for me to focus my time on a large project for a client I was traveling to visit in 3 days became a no (because it wasn't his idea) and ended with him hurling papers around the room and throwing me out of his office. He was a bad manager, a traffic cop who you'd only hear from when he thought you were doing something wrong, but like many people can relate to, he was also *my* manager, and he wasn't going anywhere. I had to do something about it.

The book had many situations that related to the situation I was going into. A stubborn, unreasonable person, but at least they weren't holding anyone at random. In many ways, I was doing things that may have seemed like to my boss that I was undermining him. Chris Voss talks about the same story of a brilliant young agent who earned the ire of a field office director (and that agents direct supervisor) for a similar situation. Chris talked about a situation where the agent came to him for help in needing to discuss with their boss a request they knew would have sank like a lead balloon on any good day. I was in that same situation. Chris described the techniques needed to discuss the issue with their boss. It worked.

I tried the same techniques. The next time an impossible request came through, I discussed it with my manager. I started with "I'm sorry," one of the things Chris talks about in his book. I followed in so many words with "how am I supposed to do that?" I made my problem *his* problem. It was now his job and his responsibility to solve the issue he presented in his request. All without him knowing that just happened. It sounds so deceptively stupid, I thought starting off with "I'm sorry" and asking "how am I supposed to do that?" would be seen as oppositional, but you know what? It actually worked. He didn't know how to solve the problem he just gave me. We talked about it and floated solutions, and I planted the seeds in his head on alternatives, using other techniques described in the book. The discussion ended with him basically saying "that's right" and I got the solution I wanted out of the situation, and in the end, my boss left with the impression that it was his idea. That manager and I still never got along very well, and eventually he moved away from my department completely, but at least I had the tools needed for him and I to be able to communicate and work together.

I'd have to thank Chriss Voss. The techniques in my book in my situation didn't save anybody's life from a kidnapper or get a bank robber to stand down, but it probably saved my career. This book is for everybody.
106 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on July 27, 2024
I came across "Never Split the Difference" by Chris Voss while browsing Amazon, where it was featured as a top seller in the Business & Money section. Out of the 13 books I've read in 2024, this one stands out as the best—easily a 10 out of 10.

The book provides practical advice applicable to various areas of life, whether you're a parent, partner, manager, or entrepreneur. It's a must-read for anyone, particularly those involved in business development, people management, freelancing, or parenting—essentially, anyone looking to enhance their negotiation skills.

After reading the book, my favorite ChatGPT prompt has become:
"I want…. given [plenty of background].
Advise me in line with the book: Never Split the Difference."

Even with a hectic schedule over the past month, I found myself looking forward to my nightly reading sessions, regardless of how tired I was. This speaks volumes about the book's captivating and insightful content. The structure of the book is good, with each chapter concluding with a summary that highlights the key points.

Some of my favorite quotes from the book include:
- “Prepare, prepare, prepare. When the pressure is on, you don’t rise to the occasion; you fall to your highest level of preparation.”
- “Never be so sure of what you want that you wouldn’t take something better.”

In summary, "Never Split the Difference" is an insightful and invaluable resource that I highly recommend to everyone.
10 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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wright
5.0 out of 5 stars Must read
Reviewed in Canada on September 5, 2024
Great book , probably my top 10 reads this century . Leveling with the other books i loved Extreme owner ship and Turn the ship around . Very relatable to the fire service , policing or military
Matheus B.
5.0 out of 5 stars Vem sem capa
Reviewed in Brazil on June 6, 2024
O conteúdo do livro é muito bom!
Não que seja um problema pra mim. Mas a capa do livro vem totalmente simples, apenas em vermelho.
Alejandra
5.0 out of 5 stars Información valiosa para mi negocio
Reviewed in Mexico on March 6, 2022
Es el mejor libro que he leído para guiarme y ayudarme en mi emprendimiento. Propone técnicas complejas pero de una manera práctica, lo difícil es recalibrar tu mente a abrazar el conflicto en lugar de huir, esa es la base de la negociación. Y si ese no es tu carácter, como yo, hay mucho trabajo que hacer. Definitivamente se vuelve mi libro de cabecera de ahora en adelante.
Ahmed Mohammad
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 11, 2024
Good book for negotiation. with good tips to apply . I highly recommend it to any one wants to get some knowledge in negotiation .
SHADY
5.0 out of 5 stars Very interesting
Reviewed in the United Arab Emirates on October 11, 2024
Interesting