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The Complete A**hole's Guide to Handling Chicks Paperback – May 1, 2003

by Karl Marks (Author), Dan Indante (Author)

83 customer reviews

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Congratulations, man! By picking up The Complete A**hole's Guide to Handling Chicks, you are just pages away from finally understanding:

- How a five-dollar date can get you laid
- How to stop being friends with girls and start getting them in the sack
- Where you'll have the best odds of finding a one-night stand, and how to get rid of the chick the next morning
- How to trick a woman into thinking you're classy, even if you have holes in your underwear
- Why fat chicks always try to keep you from banging their hot friends, and how to finally stop these evil creatures
- How to stop your wife from nagging you into an early grave
- Why it's possible to watch six hours of football, put the moves on your neighbor's hot daughter, and leave the toilet seat up in the same day
- And much more

The Complete A**hole's Guide isn't like all the other candy-ass relationship books on the market; it doesn't cover issues like romance, love, and finding Miss Right. So, if that's what you're looking for, there are plenty of other books you can hide under your skirt as you skip out of the store. This book is about controlling the women in your life, and never having to say you're sorry . . . EVER AGAIN!

We'll take you from the day you're born to the day you die and show you how women can be manipulated, frustrated, and ultimately dominated throughout the course of a man's life. By illustrating the insanity of the female mind, we'll show you why the flawed chick psyche causes them to continuously fall for the a**hole, no matter how many times they get burned.

If you're not interested, that's fine. We're sure there are ballet classes you need to attend before your wine and cheese party. However, if you are ready, then grab a six-pack, order a pizza, and get your hand out of your pants because you're about to read the most perverse, sadistic, and hysterical relationship book ever written. Enjoy!

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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Karl Marks is a regular performer in the West Coast comedy circuit, headlining at clubs such as the Improv, Friars Club, and Icehouse. Using the stage as his soapbox, he has successfully offended thousands of hateful women to the raucous applause of drunken men. His material spawns from both time spent at the U. of Southern California, where he double majored in public intoxication and freshman sorority girls, and his many years navigating the thankless, Godforsaken prostitution ring better know as the Los Angeles dating scene. His mother and three sisters should be proud.

Product details

Paperback: 288 pages
Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin; 1st edition (May 1, 2003)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0312310846
ISBN-13: 978-0312310844
Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.6 x 8.5 inches
Shipping Weight: 9.1 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 83 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,239,650 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #1678 in Books > Humor & Entertainment > Humor > Parodies
- #4751 in Books > Self-Help > Relationships > Interpersonal Relations
- #5474 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Marriage & Adult Relationships

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... this as a gift to a friend and he loved it. His girlfriend just waiting for him to ...

December 14, 2015

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

I gave this as a gift to a friend and he loved it. His girlfriend just waiting for him to try the techniques.

One person found this helpful2 people found this helpful

... but started reading a bit for myself and its pretty funny. I think it's more for a laugh ...

October 5, 2014

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

Bought this as a present for someone but started reading a bit for myself and its pretty funny. I think it's more for a laugh than serious advice. Enjoyable

One person found this helpful2 people found this helpful

Jonathan C. Smith

Seriously funny.

May 12, 2014

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

What a funny book to read and occupy some time. Some of the stuff in here can actually be used to give people the impression that you just don't care. I used it for a good laugh.

One person found this helpful2 people found this helpful

Amazon Customer

March 24, 2016

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

Very funny book

One person found this helpful2 people found this helpful

Richard Livingston

Great Read......

February 18, 2011

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

Yes, the title is a bit raw......but in a sea of lame, mainstream, mangina type books, this book kicks all their asses....IMO. It's written for men of all ages, but the earlier in life the reader gets their hands on this, the more value they will get out of it. Unless a guy has lived under a rock his whole life, he will undoubtedly relate to some of the material covered, and be better prepared for the cruel reality of modern relationships with the opposite sex. If that weren't enough, the humor alone is worth the purchase.

6 people found this helpful7 people found this helpful

Not a real advice book - Satire and seriously funny

December 3, 2012

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

This book is not garbage, and there is no violence in it! Let's face it: men and women think vry differently about the same things, and the choices most women make are confusing at best to a man. Hey, it's not MEN's fault women really do choose the men they do when they have nice guys to choose from! It is satire and very funny. What makes it so funny is the strong elements of truth to what a man experiences in life relating to women. For example, the book describes the social strata in high school and what to expect from it, and it's spot on and hilariously funny. I recommend this book to any man who has been frustrated by the seemingly twisted way women think (and choices they make) and who has a sence of humor. I also recommend it to a woman who wants to understand a little better how men think and how their own thinking and choices appear to men, with the understanding that this is thick with satire & sarcasm from men wanting to validate our exeriences and feelings with other men. Good stuff. ** There is a review here that states the book encourages men to hurt women and do violence. Not true. The point of the book is that women hurt themselves with the choices they make, thus encouraging men to act up. When a nice guy sees most women falling over themselves for the a** hole men described in this book, it doesnt take a man long to figure out that being Mr Nice doesnt cut it with most women. Also, the violence reference may allude to the sex "advice" part of the book where it talks about some rear spanking during certain sex acts. Calling this violence will be news to the women I know who like this and ask for it. The satire and humor was obviously lost on that reader.

4 people found this helpful5 people found this helpful

January 21, 2015

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

Great!

One person found this helpful2 people found this helpful

June 22, 2011

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

This book is for pure entertainment value only. If you're looking for a real a**hole's guide to handling chicks I would check out some other books, like 'the Game'. That being said, this book has it's moments. Parts will make you laugh out loud while others kind of drag on. It's worth checking out if you like college style humor and it should definitely be on the bookshelf of every frat house.

4 people found this helpful5 people found this helpful

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