As I was growing up, I often felt like the proverbial "Lonely Little Petunia in an Onion Patch.' My dreams, you see, were, (and perhaps still are), full of marrying a REAL (HRH) prince. (Because, I guess, I'm a very typical American, with typical American-lady dreams, and also because I have recently had to acknowledge the fact that I am what is called an "Early Indigo". Indigo children are being born by the millions right now -- all Indigos are supposed to be part of the next stage of Human evolution. One hallmark of being an Indigo is a fascination with, and wantting to marry into Royalty. And being impatient, somewhat pyschic, rebellious against authority, etc. For better or worse, I seem to meet ALL the qualifications.) OK, I guess I'd also be very happy with even a non-royal man, who is ambitious enough to become a multi-billionaire, whilst still treating me as an equal, and the rest of the world as fellow humans, to be respected and not despised), wearing the accompanying beautiful gowns, tiaras, and smart daytime suits, being amongst people who apreciated my talents, as I appreciated theirs, and, well....BEING a SOMEBODY! Egalitarnism has its place -- especially in America -- but the American Dream, itself, beckons (every)one to be, well -- special. Cream, they say, rises to the top. Isn't this the heart of all that is good in America? Horatio Alger, anyone? And the real-life, American success stories of so many who started with nothing?
What I got, however, was a strong dose of "NOBODY should be special", from pulpit, (Conservative Judaism), and public school, (oh, how I wanted to go to private school....but we couldn't afford it, sigh). By the time I got to college, hippies were marching in the streets, people who wanted to better themselves by making money were looked down upon by those of my generation as "secret Simon Legrees" -- and even the college I went to, (one of those comprising the City University of New York), DID NOT EVEN PERMIT SORORITIES OR FRATERNITIES ON THE CAMPUS! No, "Houseplans" were the substitute there -- basically clubs with the same aim as the Junior League, (service to others), but without ANY of the prestigue. ((IS the prestigue accorded the Junior Leage a good thing? Indeed it is! I read once in another book...I think it was in, THE PRIVATE WORLD OF HIGH SOCIETY, by Lucy Cavelier", that one older man got better SO fast, because he had the exhilarating feeling of knowing that, ONLY the members of the Junior League were good enough to take care of HIM! Exclusivity DOES bestow a sense of importance, after all. Which leads to feeling good about one's self and one's position! And if one cannot get into one's first choice of an exclusive organiaztion, there are always other exclusive organizations one can join -- or found!)
At any rate, one of the things I have learnt from reading this book,
"A Southern Belle Primer -- Or Why Princess Margaret Will Never Be A Kappa Kappa Gamma", by Marlyn Schwartz, is that, during our times, (the book was published in 1991), the Junior League Headquarters, (it is a NATIONAL organization), has issued an edict that ANYONE WHO ASKS TO JOIN THE JUNIOR LEAGUE MUST BE GIVEN MEMBERSHIP IN THE JUNIOR LEAGUE. Nicely egalitarian, (and I guess I should be glad at it, because, being Jewish myself, I probably would never have been allowed in during the pre-egalitarian-edict days) -- yet, there still is a sigh in me, as one more bastion of exclusivity has fallen. It may be more egalitarian -- but it also robs those who achieved membership in the "bad? old days", (and perhaps those whom they helped), of a certain feeling of importance. Of course, (as is mentioned elsewhere in this book), people are still free to form their own, very private clubs and service organizations...
With a light touch, and often a humourous and delightfully self-mocking one, Marlyn Schwartz digs deeply into what it means to be a Modern Southern Belle. There are, in "A Southern Belle Primer", many, (many!), photographs illustrating these modern southern belles, in so many wonderous activities and situations, (which give a sense of REALITY to what is being written about...some of it SO far from the "real" (read: mundane!), life, encountered in the day-to-day, ordinary, humdrum life of "most" people, as to seem totally fabricated and fictionalized....or at least, historical. But no! Here are actual photographs, (and MANY of them!), of MODERN Southern Belles: in period costume, at college soirees, at (real! live!) debutante parties, at "crownings", at "Rose Festivals", on horseback, at "teas", at beauty pageants, with police escorts, and at Civil War, ("War Between The States"), re-inactments. These photographs are NOT only of young women. Older women shine in these photographs as well, and are honoured by having their names in the captions, as well as the younger ladies. Ageism seems NOT to have reached with ugly tentacles into those who honour the traditional ways in the Southern USA. Age is, as in all traditional societies, looked up to for experience and wisdom! The photographs here of the older ladies can teach anyone how to age gracefully, just by looking at them! Included too, are pictures of lovely old plantations, which are kept in sparkling condition, both for tourism and sentimentality's sake. Most of these are of the exteriours of such mansions -- but one or two show actual Interiour rooms, with period furnishings and gracious, large proportions! Also in this book are many delightful drawings -- many of which are in the wonderous 'art deco' style of the 1900s-1930s, but the sources of which, alas, are not given, so that the reader, hungry for more of the same lovely art, cannot look for it.....
The text is full of what tradition expects of modern southern women, in all the various places in the Southern US. As this is a large area, comprising many individual states, there is, of course, a great deal of variance to be found. However, on page 17 and 18, are the half-serious, half-humourous "A Southern Belle's Ten Golden Rules", which state, pretty much, by what ideas ALL southern belles, (or most of them, anyway), live. The mood of these "Rules", (and indeed, of the rest of the book), can be gathered by looking at "Rules" No. 1 and No. 10: Rule No. 1: Never serve pink lemonade at your Junior League committee meetings. It has Communist overtones. Rule No. 10: Buy low. Sell high.
This half-humourous, self-mocking, yet with undercurrents of being deadly, deadly serious, pervade almost every chapter of this book. A total delight are the two pages devoted to the topic: "The Twelve Patterns of the Southern Solar Zodiac." Twelve flatware, (silverware) patterns are shon, and a personality profile of the lady who favours each pattern is given. "Francis I", by Reed and Barton, is listed as No. 1. No 2 is: "Grand Baroque" by Wallace, and the first thing said about it is that it is "Francis I with roses instead of fruit." No. 3 is: "Burgundy", by Reed and Barton, and the beginning of the description here is: "Francis I without anything." Fuller descriptions are given for each of the twelve patterns. Here is No. 12, "Repousse", by Kirk. "Repousse" is one of the oldest silver patterns. Repouse girls have mothers and grandmothers who also have Repousse. One Charleston woman explains that every woman in her family for three generations chose "Repousse". Then her son married a woman who didn't even have a silver pattern. The mother-in-law insisted she pick something and had relatives fill in the place settings. When the new bride completely bypassed Repousse, by calling it 'too fussy', the mother-in-law knew that the marriage wouldn't last. And it didn't." Strangely, following the twelve silver patterns and the description of the personalities of girls who buy them, is a drawing of two other silver patterns -- neither of which is discussed in the "zodiac"....
Chapter headings are given on the "Contents" page at the beginning of the book -- but the equally intriguing sub-headings of pages are not, probably because these sub-chapters would take too long in enumerating. However, these sub-headings do give an inkling of what's inside. So, herewith are a sampling of just a few of them:
What's In A Name?
Mewcomers
Only A Native Can Be Native Born
Oral History
Tacky
Grandmama's Rules
The Mayonaise Girls vs. The Salad Dressing Girls
DOES ANY OF THIS REALLY MATTER? ((My emphasis))
Tap, Ballet, and Charm
Mother Knows Best (Includes a delightful photo of the grown Van
Clibern, and his happy, smiling mother)
We Hid This From The Yankees
Coping
Family Pressure, (includes a photo of Conover Hunt, the Sweetheart of
Chi, with unnamed escort, 1965, and also one of an (unnamed
Black) Debutante and her (very proud looking) father
Crowns
A Duchess of Memphi
Just Don't Show An Ankle in Charleston, (describing the Ultra- Exclusive "St. Cecilia Ball", held in Charleston, which does
NOT have the "Queens", "Princesses" or glittering tiaras and
crowns of other Southern Debutante Balls. Much more sedate,
much less showy, much more private. (Much more MY own kind
of ball....sigh!)
Bridesmaids
Things Aren't What They Used To Be, ((In the Junior League))
Lessons Well Taught
The Pollyanna Club
Fallen Belles, (Well Almost). Ten things a belle trying to "pass"
outide of rhe South, for a non-southerner, is likely to do.
These include things like calling the refrigerator an icebox,
and drinking iced tea in the middle of a blizzard.
Honorary Southern Belles, (including Elizabeth Taylor, Diana Ross --
and George Hamilton and Willard Scott)
Tara, Tara, Tara
Chicken Salad
Football
Southern Comforts in the North
Anticommunism
Saving The Old Family Home
I Just Want To Be Miss Mississippi
THE WAR (It's Like It Was Yesterday)
The Dearly Departed
Top Ten Burial Casseroles
And So It Continues
Love these Southern customs or hate them -- one must admit they are alive and flourishing. This book tells of many, but one suspects there are so many more. They flourish because people are STILL proud to have them, and carry them forth through the generations. The idea of having debutante parties -- and elaborate debutante parties, of Rose Ball Queens and Princesses, of the Junior League and other exclusive, (or once-exclusive) institutions may seem repugnat to some.
But, in the end, these are Americans, doing something Americans have always done and believed in: that those in honourable, but still even more exclusive European Royal and Noble families should not, and do not have it all. That anyone, from however humble a background, can rise to become anything they wish. All of America, remember, is inhabited either by descendants of immigrants, or by descendants of Native Americans who have watched kist about their entire ancestal way of life become nothing but a footnote in history. We are, none of us, Royal or enobled. Even those of us with some noble European ancestry, are, in the United States, judged equal to everyone else. There is a reason why there are no formal titles of nobility allowed in the USA, and why even any such noble honours and titles, given by legitimate European Royalty to deserving Americans, can, in fact, only be HONOURARY honours and titles, according to USA law. These Southern debutante parties, sororities and fraternities, and the like, show up one very valid point about ALL American law, and All Americans. And that is, that we believe anyone can become rich and famous and "royal". Descendants of slaves and of indentured servants -- and of immigrants to Ellis Island and weary westward pioneer4s -- today have debutante parties, own horses, and buy Southern plantations. Anyone can become anything, in America. The Southern Ladies depicted in this book show how one can do this -- with grace, humour, charm -- and hard work!
P.S.: WHY would Princess Margaret Never Be A Kappa Kappa Gamma? Because she, like Fergie, Duchess of York, wore white shoes after
Labour Day. A Definite No-No in the Southern US. (And a definite
definition of pride, in an American Democracy!)
Loading your book clubs
There was a problem loading your book clubs. Please try again.
Not in a club? Learn more
Join or create book clubs
Choose books together
Track your books
Bring your club to Amazon Book Clubs, start a new book club and invite your friends to join, or find a club that’s right for you for free.
Download the free Kindle app and start reading Kindle books instantly on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.
Read instantly on your browser with Kindle for Web.
Using your mobile phone camera - scan the code below and download the Kindle app.
What do customers buy after viewing this item?
Page 1 of 1 Start overPage 1 of 1
About the author
Follow authors to get new release updates, plus improved recommendations.
Reviews with images
Top reviews from the United States
There was a problem filtering reviews right now. Please try again later.
Reviewed in the United States on November 6, 2010
Reviewed in the United States on August 11, 2023
Reviewed in the United States on March 14, 2011
Reviewed in the United States on July 9, 2023
Perfect little coffee table book
Images in this review
Reviewed in the United States on June 2, 2011
