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"14 lousy movies that too many people like"

Michael Ryan
 
Gladiator [VHS]
Gladiator [VHS]
"Chariot Race in Ben Hur, anyone?  I didn't know they gave out Oscars for worst digital effects."
Star Wars - Episode I, The Phantom Menace [VHS]
Star Wars - Episode I, The Phantom Menace [VHS]
"I waited how many years for this? George Lucas should be taken out and shot."
Armageddon
Armageddon
"Steve Buschemi and Owen Wilson!  Guess what - it still sucks."
Meet the Parents
Meet the Parents
"Robert DeNiro and Owen Wilson! Guess what - see above."
Titanic -DVD
Titanic -DVD
"You know, if she had gotten on that lifeboat when she was supposed to, there would have been enough room on that piece of wood for Leo.   Oh, well.  She was just slumming, anyway."
The Matrix
The Matrix
"Just kidding."
The Thin Red Line
The Thin Red Line
"I'm sorry, but this is not a good movie.  I never thought a war film would make me long for Sandra Bullock movies."
Unbreakable (Two-Disc Vista Series)
Unbreakable (Two-Disc Vista Series)
"Unwatchable.  Can you believe those idiots want to make two more?"
Rocky (Five-Disc Boxed Set)
Rocky (Five-Disc Boxed Set)
"Yes, the first one, too.  Weigh it against all the Stallone films that it led to and then tell me how great it is."
The Godfather, Part III (Final Director's Cut) [VHS]
The Godfather, Part III (Final Director's Cut) [VHS]
"Where the f - - - is Robert Duvall?!"