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The King Dork Discography

Frank Portman
 
King Dork
King Dork
"Records listened to, critiqued, or referenced in King Dork by Tom Henderson, the narrator, with quotes from the text."
Get Yer Boots On: The Best of Slade
Get Yer Boots On: The Best of Slade
""Four English guys who couldn't spell to save their lives.  The sixth greatest rock and roll band of all time.""
Desolation Boulevard
Desolation Boulevard
""My view is that there's something seriously wrong with a subculture that would prefer 'Stairway to Heaven' to 'Wig Wam Bam.'  Come on:  go listen to 'Wig Wam Bam' and tell me I'm wrong.""
Louder Than Bombs
Louder Than Bombs
""music for when you are sad""
Tyranny Mutation/Secret Treaties
Tyranny Mutation/Secret Treaties
""Maybe rock and roll music wasn't meant to be this intellectual and sophisticated, but they're still the twelfth greatest rock and roll band of all time.""
The Who By Numbers (Remastered)
The Who By Numbers (Remastered)
""The first-greatest rock and roll band of all time.""
Sabbath Bloody Sabbath
Sabbath Bloody Sabbath
""Pentagrams, inverted crosses, capes, tights, drugs, de-tuned guitars, unlimited recording budgets - what could go wrong?""
Black Rose a Rock Legend
Black Rose a Rock Legend
""Ireland's greatest contribution to Western Civilization.""
Suzi Quatro - Greatest Hits
Suzi Quatro - Greatest Hits
""Hot rock and roll chick developed by the same guys who masterminded the Sweet.  She was also in this TV show called Happy Days about people in the fifties who had 70s clothes and hairstyles.""
Rocket to Russia
Rocket to Russia
""If you can pull off the juvenile delinquent style when you are in your thirties and beyond, you are doing all right.  The eighth greatest rock and roll band of all time.""
From the Beginning
From the Beginning
""The poor man's Who.  The nineteenth greatest rock and roll band of all time.""
All American Boy
All American Boy
""Yeah, I hear somebody say keep on rockin?""
Led Zeppelin IV (aka ZOSO)
Led Zeppelin IV (aka ZOSO)
""I prefer it in Yardbird form, to be honest.""
My Baby Loves Lovin
My Baby Loves Lovin
""'My Baby Loves Lovin'' by White Plains, originally recorded as a demo in their previous incarnation as the arguably superior Flowerpot Men.  It is the perfect pop song, more or less.""
So Alone
So Alone
""Johnny Thunders was singing 'You Can't Put Your Arm Around a Memory'... and for the first time I really understood what he was getting at.""
The Kinks Are The Village Green Preservation Society
The Kinks Are The Village Green Preservation Society
""I put on the Village Green Preservation Society and lay back on the bed, alone with my thoughts which under the circumstances didn't have a lot to do with the English countryside of yesteryear.""
Ace Of Spades
Ace Of Spades
""The seventh greatest rock and roll band of all time.""
One Nation Under a Groove
One Nation Under a Groove
""The funkiest band in the world unless you count the Isley Brothers.""
The Sound of the Jam
The Sound of the Jam
""Fake-mod dolphins from around the 11th Century.  Breaks the ice at parties...""
Rattus Norvegicus
Rattus Norvegicus
""I put on Rattus Norvegicus, turned the TV sound down, sat down on my bed, and tried to think of something to do.""
Highway to Hell
Highway to Hell
""The fourth-greatest rock and roll band of all time.""
We're Only in It for the Money
We're Only in It for the Money
""If all hippie music had been this weird and good, maybe that subculture wouldn't have been such a total waste of brain cells.""
Young Loud and Snotty
Young Loud and Snotty
""Headache gone!""
The Velvet Underground & Nico
The Velvet Underground & Nico
""You can tell how badly someone wants to come off as a hipster by how fervently he or she pretends to have been into this group since early childhood.  They were my favorite band when I was a zygote.""
Wishbone Ash
Wishbone Ash
""The, let's see, 65,893rd greatest rock and roll band of all time.  Just kidding, guys.  But I guess you really had to be there...""