"Here you go. Confuse the turds with blending and mixing digital blocks. Plus all your tactical needs including grenade pouches. Mesh netting so you don't get sweaty conducting raids on the intruders."
"Another good one for masking outlines. This ones for your brain housing group. I know what your thinking. What about that stinking Kevlar helmet? Well, trust me, you won't always want to have that 3 pound grape protector weighing down your neck!"
"This guy is modular... you can build this sucker any way you want it. Don't waste your time and or life with cheap knockoffs. Remember this will carry everything you need to live for the next day and so on."
"I know what you're thinking? No I don't get periods! Hear me out. These pads are more absorbent than the field dressing that come in our medic packs. I learned this from corpsman. So don't let the females use this for periods. Keep it for emergency situations. And keep it tied down with that 550 cord. the pack says it has wings!"