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The King Dork Reading List

Frank Portman
 
King Dork
King Dork
"In King Dork, the narrator Tom Henderson reads a collection of books that belonged to his deceased father.  Here are his "reviews" of some of them, quoted from the text."
The Catcher in the Rye
The Catcher in the Rye
""It is every teacher's favorite book.  The main guy is a kind of misfit kid superhero named Holden Caulfield.  For teachers, he is the ultimate guy, a real dreamboat... It's kind of like a cult.""
Brighton Rock (Penguin Classics Deluxe Edition)
Brighton Rock (Penguin Classics Deluxe Edition)
""The best book ever written...""
The Doors of Perception & Heaven and Hell:  Two Complete Nonfiction Works  (Perennial Classics)
The Doors of Perception & Heaven and Hell: Two Complete Nonfiction Works (Perennial Classics)
""It's cool if you want to do drugs, but if you go around claiming it's like discovering Antarctica or curing cancer you're not fooling anyone but  yourself.""
Siddhartha
Siddhartha
""It's about this freaky Buddha-wannabe kid, a sort of George Harrison type who wanders the earth looking for enlightenment or whatever.""
The Naked and the Dead: 50th Anniversary Edition
The Naked and the Dead: 50th Anniversary Edition
""You know, it's no wonder everyone was all crazy and weird in the sixties, if everything was being run by prissy grandma types like Holden Caulfield and Norman Mailer.""
Quotations From Chairman Mao Tse-Tung
Quotations From Chairman Mao Tse-Tung
"Also known as the "'Little Red Book,' about which the best that can be said is:  well, at least it's not a big red book.""
Revolution for the Hell of It: The Book That Earned Abbie Hoffman a Five-Year Prison Term at the Chicago Conspiracy Trial
Revolution for the Hell of It: The Book That Earned Abbie Hoffman a Five-Year Prison Term at the Chicago Conspiracy Trial
""Supposedly the author of this book got five years in prison for writing it.  Which seems a bit lenient, if you ask me.""
The Seven Storey Mountain
The Seven Storey Mountain
""It's about this weird, slightly freaky kid whose mom is dead and whose dad is this crazy artist.""
The Journal of Albion Moonlight (New Directions Paperbook)
The Journal of Albion Moonlight (New Directions Paperbook)
""It's like this thing was written by a crazy person...""
La Peste (Folio Series, 42) (French Edition)
La Peste (Folio Series, 42) (French Edition)
""I couldn't imagine reading a whole book in French.  The educational system must have been quite a bit better back then, I thought, before they adopted the collage 'n' Catcher curriculum...""
Lord of the Flies
Lord of the Flies
""... like Hillmont High School meets Gilligan's Island, except that the goons in charge are prissy English schoolboys intead of normal redblooded American alpha psychopaths.""
A Separate Peace
A Separate Peace
""... about this irritating guy who keeps trying to make this other irritating guy fall and break his leg until he finally does and ends up dying.""
The Jerusalem Bible: Reader's Edition
The Jerusalem Bible: Reader's Edition
""A big creepy book, the contents of which have influenced and formed the basis for much of the history and culture of Western civilization for thousands and thousands of years.""
Slan: A Novel
Slan: A Novel
""A lot like The Seven Storey Mountain or Siddhartha with all the religious stuff taken out.  Same basic idea.  Kind of an improvement, if you ask me.""