Customer Review

Reviewed in the United States on February 22, 2018
Harriet Lerner is a very good writer and therapist. 80% of the book I found right on, and was very surprised when she gets to an example about a daughter that has a lifetime of issues with her unapologetic mother and the attitude is she should not have “attacked” the mother by enumerating grievances. As one who has been in that situation, usually the daughter has spent 20 to 40 years taking care of the mothers feelings and therefore not getting heard or backing down. If you dump on someone for all those years, you can certainly put up with the frustration, the anger that has accumulated and not expect a picture perfect approach. It re-creates the power struggle and the injury. The frustration that comes out is a product of that mothers mothering, not of the child that received it, So she can certainly deal with a little bit of spillage. The book expects the daughter to get over it and take mom for lunch the minute she comes up with an apology....
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4.7 out of 5 stars
4.7 out of 5
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