Customer Review

Reviewed in the United States on November 22, 2018
I am a counseling psychologist who specializes in clinical treatment and research of couples and marriage. I read this book out of curiosity.
There are few books on the market that are 1) as popular as this book and 2) leave me more heartbroken due to misinformation.
I think this book does well to highlight that love and respect are, indeed, very key aspects of relationships (for both partners, btw: women also need respect, and men also need love). I completely see how some, without a critical eye of the book, are positively impacted by the message.

However, the author boldly claims that connection and communication are principles that only wives are interested in (false).
Perhaps most harrowing, the author declares proudly that his book helped a woman return to her husband, who was abusive for many years, because she learned to "keep her mouth shut" and give him some respect (this is NOT how domestic abuse should be handled). He also shares a story where he was frustrated at his wife because she was frustrated with him for not getting a proper card (basically said don't get mad at me that i got the wrong card, just deal with it and don't get mad!) Another example that seemed particularly childish to me was that the author complained that his wife insisted he pick his wet towels up after his shower...

Half of the book is literally the author discussing the blessing his book is and how important love and respect are (it could be easily shortened to about 50 pages without his self-affirming stories or reviews).

Please, instead of this book, read: Love Sense or Created for Connection by Sue Johnson; The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman; I Hear You by Michael Sorensen...... Anything else. Really.
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