Customer Review

Reviewed in the United States on March 30, 2021
I'm not even in a romantic relationship, and I still needed this book! Like many Holderness Family fans, I initially showed up for the silly videos, but what has kept me most engaged is their podcast. This book is such a natural extension of what they've been doing on their podcast for years- listening, learning, and trying to be better people. Kim and Penn's take on the universe is one that I can really relate to: they know that they are flawed on some areas, and view it as their responsibility to improve whenever possible. Their egos are both well in check, which is what allowed them to write a book like this.

They candidly outline their 10 most common marital conflicts, and they are mostly universal conflicts that many people will tend to have in many different sorts of relationships. They share all of the unflattering details, as well and then review advice that they've learned from their marriage coach about how to reframe their discussions to get to the bottom of the conflicts. I use Christopher's catchphrase "Mature people ask for what they want." about ten times a week when interacting with my teenaged children. If I can send them out in the world with only one piece of relationship advice, that would be it.

The greatest thing about this book is that both Kim and Penn's unique voices and humor come through on every page. You don't feel like you're being preached to- you just feel like you're getting great advice from a couple of close friends after drinking a few beers around a fire pit. They allow the humor to show through, even when discussing something really difficult. I laughed out loud so many times when reading this, but also had moments where I had to look up from the page and just digest some heavy truths. I am a female, but I really think that the tone of this book would be equally enjoyable for a man because of the humor. That said, don't think that this is all fluff and giggles! The techniques discussed in this book come with a dose of scientific backing, so this isn't just Kim and Penn's opinions or what worked for them- after reading it, you'll better understand the dynamics at play in your relationships, and how to adjust your behavior to have better outcomes when conflict rears its ugly head.
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