Reviewed in the United States on December 20, 2018
I have a colon disease, so sometimes I have bathroom problems and sometimes I have to have colonoscopies which require plenty of time spent in the bathroom. This bidet has been a godsend. There are tons of great reviews already, so I've decided to do more of a Q&A to help y'all decide if this is something you need in your life.
Q: Why would I ever need a bidet?
A: If you've ever felt unclean after a bathroom session, this will make you feel cleaner than you've ever felt in your life. Even if you don't think you're icky after using just toilet paper, you probably are.
Q: Aren't wipes just as effective?
A: Maybe so, but if you've seen recent studies showing that the wipes don't dissolve as well as previously thought and you know how expensive and ill-timed plumbing problems are, you may want to consider an option that doesn't involve flushing more items down your toilet. Also, who wants chemicals all over their hindquarters? The cost of this is by far cheaper than the cost of using wipes over time and for paying for any plumbing problems you may encounter in your life.
Q: This isn't heated - isn't that going to suck?
A: No. It's actually somewhat soothing. It typically starts out close to room temperature because the water is just waiting in the hose, but even the cool water isn't too bad. I find it exhilarating and have never thought the water was too cold or uncomfortable.
Q: Is this just going to blast me in the ______ and not where it needs to actually go?
A: I don't know how, but this thing manages to hit me exactly where it needs to every time without fail. Same with everyone else in my household that uses it. It just knows exactly where to aim and sometimes, I feel like it shoots right into my soul. The short of it all - this thing doesn't miss.
Q: Is it gross? Will I feel gross knowing other people use this for...that?
A: It has a nozzle cleaning feature, so even though it's shooting out fresh water, if you have any gross feelings about using it after someone else, you can flip the switch to do a quick nozzle clean then go about your business.
Q: Are the guys going to pee all over this?
A: Maybe? But it has this cute little door protecting it (with a cute little bit of info printed on it), so even if they pee on the door, they're not going to pee on the actual device that sprays the water. Also, urine is sterile, although it may be gross, it's still sterile.
Q: Is it hard to clean?
A: Not really because the nozzle has a simple cleaning mode, just flip the switch to cleaning mode, spray a little, and it's clean. For more physical cleaning, you can just run your toilet brush over the little door while cleaning your toilet.
Q: Will I use less toilet paper with this?
A: Probably. Just do your business, spray the yuck away, then pat yourself dry.
Q: Is this hard to install?
A: Not really. The most important thing to take note of is that you have a flexible hose going into your toilet tank. If you have a firm copper one, you'll need to run to the Depot or wherever, grab a flexi hose for a few dollars and be on your merry way. You'll need to know how to remove your toilet seat so you can loop this into the same place, but other than that, it's not too difficult.
Q: Will this work with my skinny little slow-closing toilet seat?
A: Yep, that's what we have and it works fine.
Q: Does this have decent pressure?
A: I guess it depends on your water flow, but basically, it feeds off your toilet tank filler hose, so as long as that has good pressure, so should your bidet. Mine has EXTREME water pressure, so even at minimum water flow, it works majestically.
Q: Can I spray my brother with this?
A: Yes. Get your bro in the right position and yell "HEY, CHECK THIS OUT!" and it will likely spray him in the chest, or possibly the face if he's short enough.
Q: Will this clean my "lady bits?"
A: While this is more of a unisex rear end bidet than the other models from this brand, a simple repositioning will do the trick. Just slide back slightly on your toilet seat, and you can clean your lady bits til kingdom come.
Q: Will this fit in my teeny tiny bathroom?
A: Probably. It's very small and just attaches to your toilet where the toilet seat attaches, so it takes up very little room. I'd imagine this would work in the tiniest of bathrooms, assuming there's a couple inches of space on either side of the toilet. It would probably fit in nearly every bathroom.
Q: Will people think I'm weird for having a bidet?
A: Probably not. They will probably be fascinated and ask to try it out. They may even text you at 11pm on a Saturday night asking you specifics of its functionality. You may very well become a trendsetter in your friends group.
Q: How many should I get?
A: I would recommend putting one in every bathroom you poo in. Maybe try one first to make sure it's your bag, and if you agree with my sentiment, consider putting one in each bathroom for maximum freshness.
Q: Should I get this?
A: Do you like having a clean rear end? Do you have ~$35? Yes, just get this. It's not weird, it's not gross, it's easy enough to install with the most minimal of tools and it is the most amazing thing that will make your booty feel fantastic every time you use it.
I hope this was helpful in your decision-making process. Don't forget to mark reviews as helpful if you find them helpful so they appear more prominently on Amazon. Happy bathroom times to you!