Customer Review

Reviewed in the United States on November 27, 2017
What a disappointment. I’m having difficulty thinking of anything in this book that is more than a generality, anything that is really useful. The author does a reasonable job of identifying the characteristics of the problem but has no definitive solutions. She never actually gives a detailed description/definition of what a real apology is, she doesn’t offer anything more than a general standard. Even at that, her standard is based more on semantics than on whether and to what extent there is underlying sincerity, compassion and empathy. She nit-picks words and phrases in a way that doesn’t even consider underlying sincerity, compassion and empathy. In terms of finding peace of mind her only advice is to find it "any way you can" without her setting any parameters or offering any guidance. In terms of advice this book is essentially “I’m sorry that happened to you. I hope it works out for you. Don’t plan on ever getting an apology. Deal with it any way you can.”

In some ways reading this book makes things worse, not better, because it is a monument to the futility of wanting an apology for wrongs suffered. It compounds the problem by setting up a rigid standard for "real” apologies, a standard few apologies ever completely meet even when their foundation is true sincerity, compassion and empathy.

Another problem is the fact that the author is very sexist. The subject of the book is a universal problem not dependent on the sex of the injured party. Instead of taking a sex-neutral position the author dwells on her stereotypes of women apologizing too much and men apologizing too little, of women being sensitive and men being insensitive. That being said, the author offers no solutions within the scope of her stereotypes, she just speaks in generalities.
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