Customer Reviews: Passionista: The Empowered Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man (Kerner)
Amazon Vehicles Oct16 Amazon Fashion nav_sap_plcc_ascpsc Electronics Holiday Gift Guide Starting at $39.99 Halloween Candy Cozy Knits Book 2 or More Hours of House Cleaning on Amazon pbskids pbskids pbskids  All-New Echo Dot Starting at $89.99 All-New Kindle Oasis AutoRip in CDs & Vinyl Shop Cycling on Amazon STEM

Format: Paperback|Change
Price:$12.00+ Free shipping with Amazon Prime
Your rating(Clear)Rate this item

There was a problem filtering reviews right now. Please try again later.

on January 20, 2006
This wasn't what I was expecting, but turned out to be so much more intense and interesting. If what you're looking for is a bunch of tips there are plenty of other books that will give you that like Lou Paget and the other sexperts. This is really a look inside the male mind and how they approach sex and where their fantasies and fears come from and that great sex is more than knowing how to perform oral sex. It's easy to think from She Comes First that that's what this book is going to be about, but really it's just a small piece of a bigger idea. The book is a little dense in places, but it's also really friendly and I think it's unique to hear a guy talk so openly about what's really going inside a guy's head when it comes to sex.
0Comment| 189 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
on February 5, 2006
That's what the author calls himself and his voice is really honest and friendly. I loved this book because it was focused on the male mind and had some really new things to say about the male body. Just when you think you've known everything there is to know about the penis, Kerner gives you some really new things to think about. Most of all he makes you feel really confident and I've already put some of the techniques into action. I also emailed him with a question and he emailed me right back!!!! I guess he really is my friendly neighborhood sex therapist, even though I live in Portlan and he lives in New York.
0Comment| 171 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
on January 10, 2006
I think of myself as a thinking woman, so the title hooked me. The book is definitely long on male psychology and issues affecting male desire and less focused on techniques. It's nothing like a magazine article. But there's so much great stuff in here, and the thing I love most is that the book is really feminist and inspiring. It's not just focused on giving pleasure, but also on receiving. I would have liked some more techniques personally, but after She Comes First and He Comes NExt, maybe we can look forward to We Come Together.
0Comment| 118 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
on April 20, 2008
As a woman known to walk the aisles of bookstores, amused by the endless self-help sex books, I found this book to be utterly refreshing. In my humble opinion, great sex is not found in the pages of the Kama Sutra, in a hundred different sexual positions or in the guidance of former porn stars. But this remarkable book somehow captures the essence of being spectacularly sexual, inherently erotic and madly in love with your partner. I hope that women stop to realize just how important sexuality is to men (and should be to them). If you want to start researching the subject, this book is where you should start. Ian's wife is a LUCKY woman.
- Samantha, 43
11 comment| 65 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
on April 4, 2011
Not, perfect practice makes perfect. This book is different in thought and approach to his last, She Comes First. This book is primarily written for women, on how to make love and build desire in their man. This book is long on philosophy and a thinking approach, and short on techniques. I think that was intended. To build great sex, it is more a mental game than a physical one, and this book explains to women the mental game of men, so they know how to play. To often, we approach our partner the way we would like to be approached, and will not likely work out for most people. This book arms you for understanding to be the best you, you can be in bed and in the set up before.

It is not lacking in technique. The last 3 chapters give you ideas and baslines on how to handled the different levels of arousal, signs to look for, ways to please. It encourages women to find their inner tigress and take charge, and drive the activites to make love to their partners better.

You can sum it up in, keep it open, keep it honest, keep it fresh. Which both says a lot, and nothing. Unless your a Tao master, there is benefit in this book for you.
0Comment| 16 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
on April 11, 2007
I got "she comes first" for my husband 3 weeks before I bought this book. She comes first is one of the best book purchases ever. Based on that, I bought this book. It has some good info on the psychological side of a man's sexual needs, and a few tips and techniques for women. It was a little dry, and I felt the focus kept coming back to me, the woman. It is a very nonjudgmental book, and is very reassuring. It does not expect some amazing bedroom act, rather it shows you how your own emotional tendencies are found in him, and how to satisfy them. It is a simple book with simple techniques that are extremely effective. I WOULD RECCOMEND THIS BOOK, AND IT'S EVEN BETTER IF YOU GET "SHE COMES FIRST" WITH IT. My husband has turned into a different person since this book, and I am loving it.
0Comment| 54 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
on July 1, 2007
I'd give this book a big O for outstanding. This book goes beyond just serving as a how-to on having great sex, but first and foremost provides a how-to on having a great relationship. (And, believe it or not, the two really are connected.) Continually entertaining, informative, and insightful from cover to cover, this book will likely suck (ok, puns are hard to avoid in writing this review) you in from the start and keep your attention throughout. As the author conveys throughout the book, the secret to having an exciting relationship in the bedroom is to first have an exciting one outside of it.
0Comment| 13 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
on January 14, 2006
Definitely lots of great ideas in here about how to please a guy without making you feel like have to do it hanging from the chandeliers. The first part reads super well and is really stimulating, and there are lots of techniques in part 2. But I'm definitely a reader who had a hard time visualizing some of the routines and I wish there were more precise illustrations. Some things are better not left to the imagination.
0Comment| 29 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
on November 10, 2013
Good info. I'd definitely take some of the advice with a grain of salt.For instance, I really don't like the idea of fantasizing about someone else while I'm having sex with my husband being something that is classified as "normal and encouraged". Fantasy is great, but fidelity is even better. the best sex is in a committed relationship, and commitment to me begins in the mind.
0Comment| 20 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse
on October 3, 2009
Dr. Ian Kerner puts into words what women are thinking but have not or could not convey to their male partners: Great sex is integral to a relationship based on "intellectual , emotional, and spiritual compatibility." Kerner outlines techniques and ambiance but only after explaining the male sexual anatomy, physiology, and psychology and emphasizing the cultivation of intimacy and desire.

I found it revealing to peek into the male psyche, as Kerner delves into the male-side of the sex story, addressing the differences in how each gender feels about or is influenced by sex and porn, fantasies and penis size, and sexual excitement and love. It was interesting to have the "family jewels" pointed out as both the center of control, the driver of desire, but at the same time, as a locus of vulnerability and sensitivity. (However, the "vulnerability and sensitivity" may only refer to the physical, rather than the emotional for some.) And, it was rousing, almost stimulating, to hear that for men in long-term relationships, "the sex act is the primary conduit for expressing their feelings... [a] path to achieving a true sense of intimacy with a romantic partner."

Now having armed yourself with the knowledge of what "he" feels and deals with, Kerner rubs the female ego with "women, be fierce" anecdotes -- anecdotes about the Woman on the Shaky Bridge and the White Tigress and, despite the gender gap and an even greater sexual gender gap, encourages women to teach their man about "global orgasms" and to begin foreplay outside the bedroom. That is, to explain to make love, not with their penises, but with their entire selves, and that foreplay is the mental component of sex and is about infusing the relationship with a lust for life.

As Kerner states, "Passion is born in the mind, [and in] a healthy, long-term relationship, desire isn't about fulfilling a need to have sex, but rather desiring sex with a particular person [because] sex is ideally a holistic integration of emotional desire and intimacy, intellectual spark and creativity, sensual and physical arousal." At this point, he's preaching to the choir. And I start wondering what he wrote in his first book She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman, which now I'll have to read to ensure he sent a message I agree with.

In an amusing tone, Kerner reminded me that men have issues and specific desires as well as differences in sexual needs and approaches, especially if there are differences in personalities, such as a Thrill-Seeker versus Familiarity-Lover. And that the sexual relationship is the culmination of the relationship itself. That is, a healthy relationship begets a healthy sexual relationship. A healthy sexual relationship represents a healthy relationship. And, that hinges on mutual communication, trust, and respect.

I gave a 3-star because it wasn't revealing but an amusing read - a good refresher for those who are in long-term relationship, and I suppose it's enlightening for those who are starting out.
22 comments| 53 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you?YesNoReport abuse